An alcoholic is an egomaniac with low self esteem...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Sydney, NSW
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by karate 
Well - i think you at least pegged me 
All we can do is try to improve .
One time when i was in AA my sponsor ,who was a real little fellow said
"You want some hard truth about yourself ".
He said" you wont get mad and kick my ass? ".
I promised him i would not -
He said "You are the most arrogant person i know ".
I had to agree .
All we can do is try to improve .
One time when i was in AA my sponsor ,who was a real little fellow said
"You want some hard truth about yourself ".
He said" you wont get mad and kick my ass? ".
I promised him i would not -
He said "You are the most arrogant person i know ".
I had to agree .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Can't relate at all to this thread. I never thought of myself as important or special. I'm certainly not an egomaniac or even egocentric I drank because it quieted my mind. And I liked not thinking for a time.
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
Originally Posted by ru12
Can't relate at all to this thread. I never thought of myself as important or special. I'm certainly not an egomaniac or even egocentric I drank because it quieted my mind. And I liked not thinking for a time.
I don't tend to find the whole character defects/big ego modality/knock you down to size/ooga-booga/tough love thingy very helpful. Nor swearing. It makes the song 'Macho Man' by The Village People start going through my mind, and seems a bit silly.
I was thinking that in recovery, it helps me to laugh, and also to look at the positive things about me, and that I'm doing, rather than to make countless lists of flaws and failings that are incidental to the true self.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: SE Arizona
Posts: 1,099
It is neither accurate nor appropriate to suggest that alcoholism is confined to any particular set of personality characteristics. Sure, there are alcoholics with narcissistic behavior just as there are those with schizoid, histrionic and sociopathic tendencies. And there are also a lot of alcoholics who are pretty well adjusted in ways not related to alcohol. I have known both arrogant and self-effacing alcoholics as well as intellectual and anti-intellectual alcoholics. The only common thread among these people was that they drank too much.
I subscribe to the theory that alcoholism is an ingrained habit reinforced by an acquired tolerance/physical dependency; I don't think it is a specific disease. People can develop and strengthen the habit in a number of ways: they like the buzz; alcohol dulls the pain; a few drinks makes one feel more socially acceptable and so on. For me, an introvert, it helped me to perform well in a career where extroversion was a strength: for a while.
To a point, alcohol can help people adjust to a world in which they don't feel entirely comfortable; it is a socially acceptable crutch. But, it doesn't take very much alcohol to provide the crutch. Used too often and too much, alcohol looses its utility and becomes a habit and then tolerance, increasing consumption and physical dependence enter the picture. One can become an alcoholic regardless of personality; in spite of, or because of nature or nurture; and in spite of our best intentions. I think that one of the reasons there are so many approaches to sobriety is that there are so many approaches to alcoholism.
I subscribe to the theory that alcoholism is an ingrained habit reinforced by an acquired tolerance/physical dependency; I don't think it is a specific disease. People can develop and strengthen the habit in a number of ways: they like the buzz; alcohol dulls the pain; a few drinks makes one feel more socially acceptable and so on. For me, an introvert, it helped me to perform well in a career where extroversion was a strength: for a while.
To a point, alcohol can help people adjust to a world in which they don't feel entirely comfortable; it is a socially acceptable crutch. But, it doesn't take very much alcohol to provide the crutch. Used too often and too much, alcohol looses its utility and becomes a habit and then tolerance, increasing consumption and physical dependence enter the picture. One can become an alcoholic regardless of personality; in spite of, or because of nature or nurture; and in spite of our best intentions. I think that one of the reasons there are so many approaches to sobriety is that there are so many approaches to alcoholism.
Shape-Shifting Super-Hero
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eating Tofu!
Posts: 882
Originally Posted by Cascabel
It is neither accurate nor appropriate to suggest that alcoholism is confined to any particular set of personality characteristics. Sure, there are alcoholics with narcissistic behavior just as there are those with schizoid, histrionic and sociopathic tendencies. And there are also a lot of alcoholics who are pretty well adjusted in ways not related to alcohol. I have known both arrogant and self-effacing alcoholics as well as intellectual and anti-intellectual alcoholics. The only common thread among these people was that they drank too much.
I subscribe to the theory that alcoholism is an ingrained habit reinforced by an acquired tolerance/physical dependency; I don't think it is a specific disease. People can develop and strengthen the habit in a number of ways: they like the buzz; alcohol dulls the pain; a few drinks makes one feel more socially acceptable and so on. For me, an introvert, it helped me to perform well in a career where extroversion was a strength: for a while.
To a point, alcohol can help people adjust to a world in which they don't feel entirely comfortable; it is a socially acceptable crutch. But, it doesn't take very much alcohol to provide the crutch. Used too often and too much, alcohol looses its utility and becomes a habit and then tolerance, increasing consumption and physical dependence enter the picture. One can become an alcoholic regardless of personality; in spite of, or because of nature or nurture; and in spite of our best intentions. I think that one of the reasons there are so many approaches to sobriety is that there are so many approaches to alcoholism.
I subscribe to the theory that alcoholism is an ingrained habit reinforced by an acquired tolerance/physical dependency; I don't think it is a specific disease. People can develop and strengthen the habit in a number of ways: they like the buzz; alcohol dulls the pain; a few drinks makes one feel more socially acceptable and so on. For me, an introvert, it helped me to perform well in a career where extroversion was a strength: for a while.
To a point, alcohol can help people adjust to a world in which they don't feel entirely comfortable; it is a socially acceptable crutch. But, it doesn't take very much alcohol to provide the crutch. Used too often and too much, alcohol looses its utility and becomes a habit and then tolerance, increasing consumption and physical dependence enter the picture. One can become an alcoholic regardless of personality; in spite of, or because of nature or nurture; and in spite of our best intentions. I think that one of the reasons there are so many approaches to sobriety is that there are so many approaches to alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I can relate to it. Actually pretty well. Whether it has any real connection to alcoholism, IDK... And I usually see it more as a feeling of inferiority not so much low self esteem. And really it has to do with an inaccurate self image, and whether it was the result or the cause or completely unrelated to any of my addictions, like I said, IDK...
I found that some real humility was the antidote. Knowing what I am good at and letting myself do that, without getting in my own way, is enormously helpful... Knowing what I am not good at, and admitting it, to myself or others is often equally as helpful. Good work in this area brings serenity. Not just to me, but to others as well.
I hear stuff in the rooms that resonates, I hear other stuff that doesn't... But all of it is someone's experience, some of it may be similar to my own.
If we offer our own experience, that is all we can and should do.
I found that some real humility was the antidote. Knowing what I am good at and letting myself do that, without getting in my own way, is enormously helpful... Knowing what I am not good at, and admitting it, to myself or others is often equally as helpful. Good work in this area brings serenity. Not just to me, but to others as well.
I hear stuff in the rooms that resonates, I hear other stuff that doesn't... But all of it is someone's experience, some of it may be similar to my own.
If we offer our own experience, that is all we can and should do.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
I can really relate to jsober. If things had gone the way I had planned out, if other people would just do what I think they should, I would be ok. It's a bitter pill to swallow, when others don't follow your script. I still struggle with this and have drank over it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: London
Posts: 369
Originally Posted by HuskyPup
That's a very eloquent way of putting things. I don't think there is just one set of reasons why people drink to a dysfunctional degree, and to try to class them as such with strident insistence strikes me as the definition of egotistical.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 19
I can completely relate to the OP. I would have these grandiose thoughts of myself and would blame everyone else for not seeing how great I am...and use that as an excuse to get drunk.
The truth is, I am capable of great things, when I'm not drunk or hungover.
The truth is, I am capable of great things, when I'm not drunk or hungover.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: London, UK
Posts: 92
I wouldn't say I am/was an egomaniac. I never thought I was particularly great at anything, in fact I'm always being told how critical I am of myself. I would, however, say I am egocentric in the sense that I live in my head and struggle to see things from other's perspectives. When I try it always ends up with me being a failure who has done something to upset them even if the reality is very different. I think I have more power than I actually do in that respect. I believe that other people are more affected by my behaviour, moods and even just my presence than they actually are. Crucially that is not because I think I am important or special but rather because I believe I am fundamentally unlikeable and inferior.
I think having a drinking problem made this worse. It shut me off from the world so I had no choice but to be egocentric; there was no one else in my world.
I think having a drinking problem made this worse. It shut me off from the world so I had no choice but to be egocentric; there was no one else in my world.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
