Retep

6 weeks without a drink today.

This forum has helped, although I'm more of a reader than a poster. The last few weeks I keep finding myself in positions where I really want to drink. Generally it's when I'm feeling anxious or uncomfortable.

I keep reminding myself that these are exactly the kind of reasons for drinking that make my drinking so damaging, and that 'just one' drink wouldn't make me feel better anyway. I think I'm at a point where its been long enough since I got wasted and had that never drinking again feeling, but not long enough to have developed the habit of not drinking, that I'm at a risky point. Does that make sense?

Any tips for dealing with social anxiety and keeping away from the booze?

fantail

Congratulations on 6 weeks!!!

For me the argument that most reliably keeps me away from relapse is the interruption to the brain's healing process. I've seen so, so much improvement in the way I function as I recover from the damage I caused. From what I understand, any relapses set that recovery back significantly. I feel like I've fought so hard to get this far in my recovery, there's no way that one night (or a weekend, etc) of drinking is worth starting that process over.

I have also really found that social situations have gotten easier and easier. Practice really does help. It was hard at first but I have to say that now I almost never feel like I need a drink to handle a social situation... compared to never going out without a pre-party drink before.

Threshold

Retep,

I pretty much tell myself the same thing you do. Drinking isn't the answer and isn't going to make anything better and one drink is most likely going to lead to the whole ugly mess starting all over again.

so it's better to just keep on keeping on, because the feeling will pass with no harm done, if I don't do anything stupid in response to it.

I also do reality checks...because my mind likes to label thing rather dramatically and often they aren't. So, I stop and say "what's really going on here..." and lay out the facts of the situation, often that heads things off at the pass because it knocks my demons down to size.

My boyfriend has been stressed at work, and called me up cursing and yelling and telling me how depressed he was and how his day had been one disaster after another. First a delivery was late, then he broke a bottle of water in the cooler...and I said "if you came home from work and the house had burned down or I'd been raped and murdered, THAT would be a disaster...a broken bottle of water...is a broken bottle of water..."

He's a recovering alcoholic too.

Mountainmanbob

artsoul

It makes perfect sense to me......

As time goes by, we tend to forget the bad times and it's tempting to think we're wiser now, or the situation has changed, or if we're sure to stick to the new limits we put on ourselves, all will be well and we can drink again. The problem is: everything changes once we start drinking and all our good intentions go out the window.

Social things were a real challenge for me in the beginning, so I avoided them for the most part, but over time things got better and I found I actually enjoyed myself more when sober. The first time I was around drunks after I stopped drinking, it made me realize that we're not as charming as we feel while drunk and we're not connecting to other people at all. It's really a handicap when you think about it.

For me, it's about having pride in being the best we can be and just being who we are. Congratulations on 6 weeks!

alphaomega

Meditate. Twice a day.

Mountainmanbob

pray to the one who can help you
sometimes we have to be sick and tired of ourselves before
we can seek him with all our heart



Mountainman

Gottalife

My experience as an alcoholic of the hopeless variety was that when ever I stopped, being sober was no fun. The first few days were usually quite good once I got over the hangover, but I gradually became more and more uncomfortable and afraid.

Being sober became painful and when the pain outweighed the benefits, I'd find myself in that strange mental blank spot where I had forgotten all the reasons I wanted to stay sober, and a drink would be down my neck without much thought at all.

Well meaning people used to say "don't take the first drink" but my problem was I never remembered that I wasn't supposed to take the first drink until I was on my fifth, and by then it was too late. Just about the only thought in my mind at the time of the first drink was "Ill just have a couple, I only want to have a good time".

I repeated this cycle a zillion times, always with disastrous results. Eventally I reached a point where I realised that there might be more to staying sober than just not drinking.

visch1

I found that I became very interested in why I drank. The physical part was apparent. Back when I got sober I went to a lot of AA meetings so I read the literature which I suggest to others and still do to this day. I was told that the alcohol is but the tip of the problem and discovered that my/our feelings held us captive in wanting the escape alcohol provided temporarily, the escape and good feelings. I/we kept pursuing it to no avail as after awhile I was hooked to daily drinking. The scary things is I found I had feelings/fears that to this day haven't been removed every day so I need meetings to be reminded. BE WELL

waynetheking

Hey retep just give it more time. Im only 4 months and 3 weeks sober myself and I vividly remember 6 weeks myself. For me the anxiety eased up around 12 weeks. I had to spend time alone on my bicycle. I was nervous as hell. The exercise helped me thru it. Dont give up buddy. Each day gets better. Trust me.

Retep

Thanks guys.

In a really want a f****** drink mood tonight. Trying to remember the agonising depression rather than the soaring buzz.

Tippingpoint

It makes perfect sense...you've quit drinking long enough that your AV is able to really put together a good argument for drinking again...

- you deserve it.
- you clearly don't have a problem.
- you can always quit again and have proved that you can do it.
- it would likely be good to drink and lose control as it would reaffirm my commitment to sobriety.
- etc.

I did the same thing at two months. I ended up drinking one night and then quit again the next day. That was two years ago.

You can save yourself some drama by just staying quit. Good luck with your choice...own it.

waynetheking

Dont drink so you wont have to stop again.

Retep

It seems naive now but I honestly thought when I quit I wouldn't get cravings. I thought my particular 'brand' of drinking problem meant I was choosing to have that first drink but then losing control. Bit of perspective and I think that's not how it was at all...

waynetheking

Unfortunately an alcoholic has no control after that first drink. Thats the trigger. Keep your finger off that one and then YOU have the power. Not the disease.