pooky

feel like I'm doomed. Started drinkin w hubby about 10 years ago.. he was a drinker and I was not..fast forward.. He's a big drinker but I'm an idiot drinker
I told him I either stop and it wont be good or I will drink and it will be bad He has no interest in stopping . We are otherwise very happily married We are great buddies...Advice?

FeenixxRising

I'm not sure what you mean when by it won't be if you stop? What won't be good? Your marriage?

KarenSW

My husband was also my best drinking buddy. He is what AA would classify as a moderate to heavy drinker. He has no problem moderating or putting it down. He still drinks now. I have a hard time making him understand that I just can't have one now and again. Very frustrating when he wants me to go to the bar and drink a coke while he drinks it up with his friends!

pooky

I cant drink just one of course he drinks alot..If i Stop;and I have before;I have never asked him to stop..but its too hard for me

pooky

thanks feenix
Seems weird to say but yeah my marriage is hard with me not drinking not because I.m not happy with him but its so hard to live with someone who drinks when you are not

Isaiah

I would think the two of you should look at the consequences that come from the options you have. If you've got a problem with alcohol (alcoholism, alcohol abuse, dependence, etc.) what harm or negative effect is it going to have on you (primarily) as well as your marriage? What harm is he going to suffer if he cuts back and/or finds a new crowd to drink with?

I have only had one serious relationship with someone in my sobriety. and I was sober when we met. So I don't have any first-hand experience with this kind of situation. Speaking as an alcoholic though, I cannot personally fathom ever feeling obligated to drink with a partner to make them happy. The harm it would cause me would far outweigh anything they could possibly gain from having me their drinking buddy.

Wish you all the best in addressing these concerns to your husband. I believe you have every right to be heard.

polaris

One of the HUGE issues Im struggling with is being known as "THAT" (the party guy). How do I find contentment now without drinking or partying on the weekends? I have plenty of theories, but Im so entrenched in this behavior that its so hard to imagine doing those alternatives sober.