Not sure my husband is supportive of me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 439
Not sure my husband is supportive of me
My husband complains that I'm on SR too much. This is my only form of recovery so I am on here a lot. I need it.
He also will not hide the beer anymore and keeps it in the fridge. He smokes pot in front of me. He use to go in the basement or upstairs, now I think he is just being lazy.
I asked him please keep the beer out of the house and not to smoke in front of me. He abides by these suggestions for a few days and then forgets or thinks it is ok.
We work together, we are together 24/7 and I'm getting to the point where I just need a break from him and his using. He is not an addict like me and supposedly can take it or leave it.
I just need some encouragement. He can be very controlling and I'm have allowed him to be that way for so long it is difficult for me to take the reigns back.
He also will not hide the beer anymore and keeps it in the fridge. He smokes pot in front of me. He use to go in the basement or upstairs, now I think he is just being lazy.
I asked him please keep the beer out of the house and not to smoke in front of me. He abides by these suggestions for a few days and then forgets or thinks it is ok.
We work together, we are together 24/7 and I'm getting to the point where I just need a break from him and his using. He is not an addict like me and supposedly can take it or leave it.
I just need some encouragement. He can be very controlling and I'm have allowed him to be that way for so long it is difficult for me to take the reigns back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,336
Sounds like you want the reigns back
I needed personal time in my early recovery, still do. Is there something you could do to carve out some time, just for you? I used to take walks, take hot baths with a nice smelling candle....small stuff, but it really helped.
I needed personal time in my early recovery, still do. Is there something you could do to carve out some time, just for you? I used to take walks, take hot baths with a nice smelling candle....small stuff, but it really helped.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
It definitely sounds like there are some relationship issues that should be addressed here. Do you think there's any chance of getting to marriage counseling, or just your own counseling if he won't go?
To me the biggest issue is that you're telling him that something is important to you and he's not hearing that... he needs to understand that leaving the beer in the fridge is not on the same level as "oops I forgot to take out the trash".
Overall though: not liking you to be on SR, leaving beer in the fridge, and smoking pot in front of you? It sounds like in general he's not taking your situation very seriously. If you can't do counseling together, maybe it would help to read some books on addiction together and talk about them, try to get to a mutual understanding about what it means to recover.
To me the biggest issue is that you're telling him that something is important to you and he's not hearing that... he needs to understand that leaving the beer in the fridge is not on the same level as "oops I forgot to take out the trash".
Overall though: not liking you to be on SR, leaving beer in the fridge, and smoking pot in front of you? It sounds like in general he's not taking your situation very seriously. If you can't do counseling together, maybe it would help to read some books on addiction together and talk about them, try to get to a mutual understanding about what it means to recover.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 439
Thank you.
I did suggest counseling a whole ago. He thinks I need counseling, but we don't need it together because he is totally fine. My sister and best friend tried to talk to him and they came up with the same conclusion: hr is in denial and thinks he is close to prefect.
I will talk to him some more, just getting tired of talking about the same thing over and over. His attitude is great some days and other days it is I don't have a problem sorry you do.
I did suggest counseling a whole ago. He thinks I need counseling, but we don't need it together because he is totally fine. My sister and best friend tried to talk to him and they came up with the same conclusion: hr is in denial and thinks he is close to prefect.
I will talk to him some more, just getting tired of talking about the same thing over and over. His attitude is great some days and other days it is I don't have a problem sorry you do.
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