Guyver

With my drunken verbal rampage I have successfully lost about 7 friends to date, but when I actually look over the logs on what I said it was my sober thoughts and me sticking up for myself that I would not do while sober.

I have friends who know I drink, accept my apologies if I make an assy comment when I sober up - I think these people are the true friends.

This is not an excuse to get drunk and go rampaging but just saying, I am kind of seeing true friends are the ones who stick by you and give you a chance to apologise, knowing you drink.

doggonecarl

A drunk can drive even best friends away.

I hope your post doesn't mean you are still drinking Guyver. Hang on to the friends you have, by being sober.

2granddaughters

Most who stood by my drunken rampages were alkies like me.

All the best.

Bob R

tomsteve

and enablers to help me continue the same behavior. pretty sick people to put up with my crap.

greatful i dont need alcohol to stand up for myself today.

fantail

You don't sound like you regret what you said... it sounds like you have something on your mind that you express while drunk and then take back when sober. I could see that being a tiring cycle for your friends to be involved in. Especially if you're expressing it in a hurtful way.

No one owes you a pass for hurtful behavior because you're drinking. If someone spiked your punch, OK, fine. But assuming that you took those drinks yourself, that's still on you. You are responsible for figuring out what it is that you want to say to your friends, and saying it in a way that is respectful and appropriate (and probably when you're sober).

choublak

Logs? So these were online verbal rampages?

You could just write them but not actually send.

Guyver

Some of them just deserved it, yes I am sober and have read the logs of what they said.. you see I was known as quite the pushover while younger... well that pent up anger + alcohol.. you know the story.. don't regret most of it but some.

bigsombrero

If that's how you treat your "true friends" I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies.

fairlyuncertain

I don't count verbal abusers and people with anger probs. among my friends. Family, oh yeah. Acquantances, you bet.
But people who can't handle resentments, anger and emotion in a healthy way are liars, pretty much. Not much basis for a friendship there.

Johno1967

There are true friends and "far weather" friends and drinking buddies. Most people don't take verbal abuse very well. Drinking is no excuse for treating anyone poorly. We may be alcoholics but we still take responsibility for our actions. Hiding behind excuses is the cowards way out and makes what our drinking does "OK". I've found the only way to regain some respect back from the people I've hurt is to acknowledge that I did it and it was my fault and seek to make amends. Consider those people who have written you off were probably harmed by your drinking and those that you hurt and forgive are also drinkers. Think about that for a moment.

Vandermast

Yeah I guess the verbal tirade whilst drunk is indeed one of the more commonly experienced aspects of alcoholism.......I myself whilst in active drinking was very prone to this.....a product of unresolved anger, hurt and resentment at persons who both did and did not deserve it

sigh


I am still dealing with the fallout of some of this behaviour....as stated some people deserved it and rightly so, others, such as partner and kids do not.


the simplest way I feel to deal with this, is to either remove myself when I get itchy, no matter whos fault because it is my responsibility, and no one elses, to manage my paws or irrational behaviour at times, due to the fact that my brain still regularly believes alcohol is good for me, when my soul knows it will chew me up into little pieces, spit me out and hose me down the gutter.

Which incidently I have arisen from

I wish you well

v

Talana

I used to go into chat rooms & forums when i was drinking and fought with everyone, I used to cringe when I went back and re-read what I had written.....I used to hate myself because I knew I was better than that. Now that I'm sober I don't go to those places anymore and I feel a whole lot better about myself.

abefroman

I have never made a real attempt at getting sober. Although I want to badly. I am 38 years old, married with a 9 yr old step daughter and I feel like my drinking is getting more and more out on control. I'm damaging relationships and know that if I don't change, eventually will push my wife away as well. I did attend an AA meeting but felt it was actually kind of depressing. Then I did the clinical assessment and of course was deemed an alcoholic but I didn't go any further. I want to do this on my own, but not sure if I can. So I am here just seeking out support/advice.

Mountainmanbob

Sudz No More

I'm not really sure what your point is here other than to try and heal your own bruised psyche. If you justify your mean spirited actions than you won't feel as guilty. A big part of Alcohol abuse is guilt and finding ways to forgive yourself.

Sorry, but just because a friend lets you of the hook for being mean to them doesn't mean more than one thing. They are just more easy going and tolerant of bull than some other people are.

Besides, if you are able to realize how damaging and toxic Alcohol abuse is to your relationships with others it should give you resolve to be sober.

Carlotta

My friends are just like me: not perfect!
I love, respect and value them. If I had been abusive to them I would have been mortified. No one deserves to be abused verbally or otherwise. If you think they are that horrible then what are you doing being friends with them? After all, some say that our friends are a reflection of ourselves.