baxibermuda

hi all

have posted a few times sober over 4 months and to be honest i am some what stuck and probably looking for an out,

Have been attending aa and trying to work the steps i spoke at a meeting stating that i feel i can have a few drinks at times and not experience the phenomen of craving that others talk of i got no feedback from the group

my question is this if the illness is 3 fold and i can only identify with the spiritual malady and the obsession but not the craving or compulsion after the first drink can i trually be real alcoholic ,

This is the same question that i describe as a constant argument inside my head and starts every time i stop drinking and attend aa meetings this has been going on for 18 years

on the other hand i have been in recovery from a gambling addiction for 20 years and have no problems admiiting,accepting and applying the action through the 12 syeps of ga and a loving god

how can i not get the same regarding alcohol

any replies would be very much appreciated

bbthumper

The book tells us that the phenomenon of craving is limited to alcoholics and never occurs is in an average drinker.

There was a time in my drinking career when I could often satisfy my craving. I could get drunk enough. Those times became less and less frequent until I could rarely if ever satisfy the craving. These were different stages but the thing that remained the same was that I was never, with 100% accuracy, able to tell you what would happen after the first drink. Sometimes I could cut myself off, sometimes I was coming out of blackouts wondering what happened to my "plan" to only have a few.

Have you ever "accidentally" gotten drunk? Drank more than you intended? or have you always been able to stick to the amount that you planned on drinking.

doggonecarl

Your first post here was after a six-day binge. What fueled that if not craving? Some compulsion drove you to keep drinking. Maybe you don't recognize it as craving. But you drank, alcoholically I assume.

There are avenues beside AA to get sober. But none will work if you are looking for reasons to keep drinking.

baxibermuda

Yes there were times when i got drunk when i never intended to and there are times when i cannot guarntee my behaviour when i lift the first drink or stick to my plan .The dilema for me is that this is not always the case.

Dee74

Hi baxi

I'm not in AA but I'll share my thoughts anyway.

We alcoholics love 'outs'.

I spent years saying I'm not a true alcoholic because I always pay my bills, or I don't have a police record, or I'm not homeless...

Sometimes I could stop at one too, if the motivation was right - family occasions, trying to impress a girl (I would lose that ability completely later, but thats another thread...)

I spent years focusing on the things that I felt didn't make me alcoholic, ...and I ignored the mountain of stuff that did.

I still have no idea if I'm an AA real alcoholic ir not, but I do know my drinking would have, and nearly did, kill me.

This thing plays for keeps.

I dunno...you may find that fantasy compared to your situation now, but I did too...once.

I think things can be a lot simpler - is your drinking causing you problems?
if the answer to that is yes - what are you gonna do about it?

D

deeker

Seeing as the craving does happen sometimes with you and bad things must have happened, cuz why would you be here. The question is are you willing to take that chance next time you pick up. Do you know what is gonna happen next time you pick up? You could end up staying home having a few beers or you could end up going out for a bottle of vodka and getting sh** faced. And all hell will break lose.

If you could take it or leave it, I don't think this would bother you so much.Something brought you here. Maybe you are not at your bottom yet.

sugarbear1

If alcohol is still working for you, you may not be done with it yet. It's still a solution for you.

Why are you having those few drinks? Alcoholism to me is not being able to live without drinking. Seems you aren't able to live without drinking. ~shrugs shoulders here~ dunno

Readysteady

In the daytime I can have one beer or a few sips at a wine tasting and not want anymore. Its different later at night. Go figure.

dox

In my humble opinion, too much emphasis is placed on the "real" alcoholic and the definition of same. In The Doctor's Opinion" he lists a few different types of alcoholic.

I happen to be the manic-depressive type. I was a top-up drinker; used alcohol, I thought, as a medication. When the consequences of my drinking got bad enough and I couldn't stop on my own, I turned to AA.

Am I a "real" alcoholic? Thankfully I don't have to answer that question -- even if I could.
I am grateful that the only requirement for membership, in the AA meetings i go to, is a desire to stop drinking.

If, or when, the consequences of your drinking get bad enough (irrespective of the phenomenon of craving) AA can help you to stop drinking. And AA can help you to learn how to live a better life without alcohol.

But, to begin your journey of recovery, you have to have the desire to stop . . .
Not a craving; a sincere desire to stop drinking.

baxibermuda

Thanks for the replies to clarify i have not had a drink since i posted on here 4 months ago.

instant

At the stage of my journey when I managed to stop, I could have one maybe two drinks on occasion without cravings really kicking in. This has to be considered in the context of the fact that I only drank most days of the week, and never during the day. Not a week went past without a major blowout.

I know what cravings are and they are real but in and of themselves they are only part of the bigger picture.

Even if am not a "true alcoholic" I am glad I don't have to worry or think about this type of stuff anymore I have been released from the torment and struggle and for that I am thankful everyday.

Threshold

To be fair to the people at the meetings as to why you don't get much feedback on the "maybe I can drink sometimes" issue. AA is for people who desire to quit drinking, not folks who desire to cut back or moderate drinking.

So it's not surprising that they don't offer much support on that issue. I don't think it's a stretch to say that all of the people there have many times attempted to moderate their drinking, found they could not and hence sought help in AA. To encourage people in the idea that moderation is the goal is dangerous in a group of alcoholics. That idea gets many people to relapse and some of them don't make it back to sobriety, and some of them die from giving moderation one more try.

You are always welcome at AA meetings and here no matter what your personal goal is. I am just offering a probable cause for the lack of feedback you get on that issue.

I found moderation to be a dangerous fantasy for me. I have found the reality of sobriety to be much more useful.

doggonecarl

Great work on four months. Don't let your alcoholic mind (and that's what it is) talk you out of your sober journey.