Readysteady

Is there a senior moderator or someone with a lot of experienc (or even ANYONE) who can contact me about a loved ones really bad situation?

StevenT

Not sure if I can be of assistance here, but I do have a little experience with living and dealing with others who have struggles. Mom and dad were both addicts and alcoholics and my GF and I, who lives with me, have the same sobriety date and are both working an AA program.

tjp613

Why don't you post your question/story in this forum Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information There are lots of great members and mods ready to help.

Readysteady

Thanks. I did post one question in that section, and thought this one was too but am on my phone. I guess there really isn't much I can do about his situation but I'll post it there too.
My brother said his liver is failing and he is dying and in bad pain...yet won't go to the ER yet. Says when he calls they have a long wait, yet when I called they said there isn't many people in. Why he's putting off going in is beyond me and its torture.

Anna

I'm sorry for the situation with your brother.

I think it's safe to know that he will go to the ER when he is ready.

You might want to check out AlAnon as a support for yourself.

StevenT

I don't have an answer for why he's doing that. There's several psychological possibilities, and I might be able to create a list and have the right one in there, but I'm not qualified for that, nor do I believe that knowing the answer will help you find peace through all of this. I had a cousin, a few years back, who was a chronic alcoholic. She drank and drank, probably had 60 beers a day. I don't know the exact number. She also sat on the couch and smoked 3 packs a day. Never left the house. Her husband was a manager at a local store and supported her habit. Long story short she developed cancer and liver failure and died without any medical support what so ever. I used to spend nights at her house, way before this, staying up late with her and her son and playing poker, watching stand up on comedy central, we had actually developed a decently close relationship for being so far apart in age.

There's far more to my story then that one event, but the point I am trying to make is that through it all I am ok. I knew something was wrong. She refused to acknowledge it. I wasn't there for her at the end. I was being selfish. I regret it now.

I couldn't have changed her no matter how much I tried. There was absolutely nothing within my power to control another human being, and there still isn't. If I had the chance again, I would state how I felt, honestly and lovingly. Then I would be by her side, no matter what she decided to do.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe, in my opinion. It can do more then torture or murder ever could. Whatever you decide to do, you will feel. Emotions are just as real as hunger. Neither can be removed. But something can be done about both. If I'm hungry, I eat. If I'm sad, I do something to make me happy.

I hope you can get something out of this. I don't know if you have faith in something bigger, but I will be praying for you both.

Readysteady

Well thank you! I really appreciate it. And yes I do believe in something bigger.