What does a drunk look like anyway?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
What does a drunk look like anyway?
I've been reading quite a few posts lately where I see the words "normal looking" when speaking of what an alcoholic looks like. And this scares me or bothers me, I'm not sure which. I know that for a long time I identified the drunk as the person in the park, guzzling out of a paper bag. Or the guy with the shakes on the street corner, panhandling for change so he could "get myself a coffee, man". It never dawned on me that I was an alcoholic when I would find myself at the liquor store most mornings, ten minutes before opening. I figured I still had a job, money, a car, a house. I was "normal" looking. I figured as long as I had these material things and was able to pay the bills, I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic. I was a "heavy drinker". I had a high capacity for consumption. I "really" liked the taste "and" the effect...
Turns out the alcoholic doesn't have a dress code. Doesn't necessarily hang out on that really "bad" stretch of Main street downtown. Chances are he sold you that car you bought last week. Or gave your child his/her first shot. Might even be that lady you see every morning at the office. Funny how I never realized that until I called myself an alcoholic. Yeah, I'm an alcoholic and an addict. And I can see with the eyes of the heart now.
Turns out the alcoholic doesn't have a dress code. Doesn't necessarily hang out on that really "bad" stretch of Main street downtown. Chances are he sold you that car you bought last week. Or gave your child his/her first shot. Might even be that lady you see every morning at the office. Funny how I never realized that until I called myself an alcoholic. Yeah, I'm an alcoholic and an addict. And I can see with the eyes of the heart now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Buford, GA
Posts: 55
Re: What does a drunk look like anyway?
The way I think of it is this: Before I realized the problems alcohol was causing in my life, I was just a drinker... Every day, increasingly in the mornings. Not to calm my nerves (I hadn't gotten to that point) but just to "feel good". Two songs always came to mind: that Johnny Cash song where he sings "...and the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert..." and then that Sheryl Crow song where she sings "I like a good beer buzz early in the morning..."
So, I knew I was drinking much more than socially and that "normal" people didn't drink at work, in the car, in the morning, etc... but I figured if I was doing all the other normal stuff (sometimes better than "normal" people), my drinking was okay. So,
I guess that an alcoholic can look like anybody but, when I think of a drunk, I think of someone who is visibly intoxicated. I didn't want to admit I had a real problem, so when I was still "out there", an alcoholic was always someone worse than me. It's not for me to say if anyone else is an alcoholic. That's something they have to figure out for themselves. However, when I'm waiting on a table, I may notice the gentleman has a red nose, tossled hair, or whatever, and when I present the bottle of wine and pour him a taste, he comments "jeez, I've been drinkin' Irish Whiskey and you want me to taste wine?" , I just get a lot of gratitude out of that, being on the other side of the bottle so to speak. And I can kind of laugh about it but I do feel a little sad for the guy. But hey, what can I do? When someone reaches out for help, then I can be of service but until then, they gotta do what they gotta do. At least, that's what I had to do.
Later!
-Josh
So, I knew I was drinking much more than socially and that "normal" people didn't drink at work, in the car, in the morning, etc... but I figured if I was doing all the other normal stuff (sometimes better than "normal" people), my drinking was okay. So,
I guess that an alcoholic can look like anybody but, when I think of a drunk, I think of someone who is visibly intoxicated. I didn't want to admit I had a real problem, so when I was still "out there", an alcoholic was always someone worse than me. It's not for me to say if anyone else is an alcoholic. That's something they have to figure out for themselves. However, when I'm waiting on a table, I may notice the gentleman has a red nose, tossled hair, or whatever, and when I present the bottle of wine and pour him a taste, he comments "jeez, I've been drinkin' Irish Whiskey and you want me to taste wine?" , I just get a lot of gratitude out of that, being on the other side of the bottle so to speak. And I can kind of laugh about it but I do feel a little sad for the guy. But hey, what can I do? When someone reaches out for help, then I can be of service but until then, they gotta do what they gotta do. At least, that's what I had to do.
Later!
-Josh
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
Re: What does a drunk look like anyway?
hey mack and ted, love that haha
mmm, this one is about 5'4", green eyes, dark brown shoulder length hair, good teeth and liver, surprisingly haha, dresses well, mother, full time employee, professionally qualified, partner, daughter and sister.
sounds about right haha
hugs dan - good question
kath
mmm, this one is about 5'4", green eyes, dark brown shoulder length hair, good teeth and liver, surprisingly haha, dresses well, mother, full time employee, professionally qualified, partner, daughter and sister.
sounds about right haha
hugs dan - good question
kath
Late stage optimist
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Auburn, WA
Posts: 306
Re: What does a drunk look like anyway?
In our and in most cultures, someone who is "drunk" is considered in a shameful state, at least when it happens more than a socially acceptable number of times. That leads all of us folks, chemically challenged or "normie", to look upon an alcoholic as a shameful person. Of course, then, we cannot look at ourselves and see that which causes so much shame we experience a level of emotional pain that triggers more consumption of alcohol or other mind altering substances, cigarettes included. So, as we step over the homeless person on the sidewalk, wreaking of stale alcohohlic breath, we say to ourselves: "now, that's an alcoholic.
I was going to work downtown in Armani and Boss suits. I stepped over the addicts and alkys sleeping on the street and thought I was not them. Then one day I woke up in the middle of the afternoon, having inexplicably downed a pint of 100 proof Southern Comfort and then trying to drive to Seattle, passed out on a high school football field, awakening by being kicked by two security guards (they did not want to touch me) who were saying: "...Excuse me, sir, you can't sleep here." I had been on my way to a work appointment in Seattle, which was 4 hours earlier. I never made it. I felt overwhelming humiliation. It was at that point that I realized I was just like those I stepped over, and I needed help. I got it through a great in patient treatment facility and AA and CA. Without the meetings I would probably be living in a cardboard box or be in prison or dead.
:tri
I was going to work downtown in Armani and Boss suits. I stepped over the addicts and alkys sleeping on the street and thought I was not them. Then one day I woke up in the middle of the afternoon, having inexplicably downed a pint of 100 proof Southern Comfort and then trying to drive to Seattle, passed out on a high school football field, awakening by being kicked by two security guards (they did not want to touch me) who were saying: "...Excuse me, sir, you can't sleep here." I had been on my way to a work appointment in Seattle, which was 4 hours earlier. I never made it. I felt overwhelming humiliation. It was at that point that I realized I was just like those I stepped over, and I needed help. I got it through a great in patient treatment facility and AA and CA. Without the meetings I would probably be living in a cardboard box or be in prison or dead.
:tri
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Kingstown RI
Posts: 59
Re: What does a drunk look like anyway?
Hi Dan,
I know I had the same misconception and have really heard many people say the same thing. In my case it was just another way to deny where I was at because, I didn't drink and drive, I didn't drink in the morning, and I have an excellent job that I function very highly in. So I couldn't be a drunk right? Once I went to some meetings and kept seeing these "normal" people saying they were alcoholics, it helped me get over my denial and my misconceptions of "what an alcoholic looks like".
Kathi
I know I had the same misconception and have really heard many people say the same thing. In my case it was just another way to deny where I was at because, I didn't drink and drive, I didn't drink in the morning, and I have an excellent job that I function very highly in. So I couldn't be a drunk right? Once I went to some meetings and kept seeing these "normal" people saying they were alcoholics, it helped me get over my denial and my misconceptions of "what an alcoholic looks like".
Kathi
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 23
Re: What does a drunk look like anyway?
Back before I got sober there were degrees of alcoholic in my mind. I never denied I was an alcoholic, I was just better off because I wasn't that guy in the gutter or that guy reaching out for some change. Those guys disgusted me. Of course I found out later how much I disgusted my wife and kids when I was passed out somewhere.
Now when I look in the eyes of that guy asking for change. I see a little of me there. There's a little ray of recognition because I see that guy in the mirror every morning. There, but by the grace of God . . .
I know precisely what an alcoholic looks like.
RD
Now when I look in the eyes of that guy asking for change. I see a little of me there. There's a little ray of recognition because I see that guy in the mirror every morning. There, but by the grace of God . . .
I know precisely what an alcoholic looks like.
RD
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Central Valley
Posts: 175
Sailing on....
Yeah its me in the mirror...but this time when I wake up in the morning I wont forget the image....I saw the night before...because its the sober alcoholic..and his name is Steve...it feels good to say those words... :boat
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