AnAddict

Yeah, I can't dispute what you're saying there. It's just I've been involved in recovery for nearly a year now, and looking at it purely in terms of time since last use (whereas my sober day count is probably about 285 out of the last 300, but never more than about 8 weeks continuous sobriety) makes me feel like I'm getting nowhere.. which is how I've felt for ages.

soberlicious

What does "involved in recovery" mean to you?

For me, those continuous battles and back and forth and dragging on and on stopped when I decided that drinking was no longer an option under any circumstances. Intermittent drinking (or in your case, using) keeps the cycle of addiction alive and well.

What is counting these days doing for you in terms of effectively ending your addiction?

hypochondriac

I can relate to so much of what you're talking about Anaddict I don't know where to start! I was very argumentative with all of the recovery methods when I first got sober. There were bits I agreed with and other parts that made me really angry. I think that hindered me a bit but I am not one to just blindly accept something when I don't agree with it or understand it. But I think you can ignore all that to a certain extent. The central tenet of AVRT is to not drink no matter what your AV says. That's pretty solid and there aren't really any excuses you can use to drink if you stick to that. There may be other issues you have which don't make things easy but they are separate to the whole drinking thing. It's like with mindfulness too, focus on the present, don't let things that happened in the past influence how you act now. Same with this 2 week thing. Just because that is how long you normally make it doesn't mean that you have to stick to that pattern. Expectation can be a powerful thing and it could be you are almost allowing yourself to relapse then. Breaking habits is another thing mindfulness can be useful for. They can be very ingrained but there are so many people who have done it before us, it has to be possible. I always believed too that if you can stay sober for a day you can stay sober forever x

AnAddict

It's not achieving anything, you're right. Ah... I guess it's time to take that frightening, but equally exciting, plunge.

soberlicious

It is very exciting to take your life back.

AnAddict

Thanks for your post. I really hear what you're saying. I think today is the day that I realise that I have to make a choice to say forever or never. I want to actually experience freedom, and whether or not it is me or the AV keeping me in this cage, it has to go.

I think AVRT works really well with mindfulness. Both are really helping me.

PS I don't know if you are hypochondriac, but I am also a hypochondriac/have health anxiety/OCD, so seems we may also relate there .

hypochondriac

My hypochondria is a million times better since I stopped drinking, the name isn't really relevant anymore but is a reminder of where I was when I first got here. I had loads of health problems and a ton of panic attacks daily. But I was still drinking then. I thought I was going nuts but turns out it was just the booze x