paulokes

Haven't had to take a drink since the 30th March 2009, 4 years ago today. My last drink at 2 in the morning and my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous at 7.30 the same evening.

Hope you have a great day and weekend folks.

P

Odelle

Congratulations, Paulokes! Four years is an amazing accomplishment!

Impurrfect

((Paulokes)) - Congratulations on 4 years!!!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

heath480

Congratulations on 4years sobriety.

trent333

Wow dude thats great!! Cant wait to get there!

Dee74

well done Paul

D

artsoul

Excellent job! Congratulations on your 4 years!!

neferkamichael

Paulokes, Four years? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.

deeker

Way to go Paul, How has your life improved, share with us the little miracles and gifts of recovery from then till now. Pleeaassee!

Jeni26

That's amazing! Thankyou so much for sharing x

llastchance8

Your achievement is really wonderful and it is a great inspiration for us. Thank you so much for sharing .

paul99

Pauly!!!!!! Congrats on your four years, kind sir!!

I am so happy for you, and happy to have you as a dear friend.

A tip of the hat to you

renee410

Congratulations! Way to go :-)

paulokes

Thanks all

Deeker, now here's a thing...I remember hearing people talk about the 'benefits of sobriety' and 'gifts of recovery' and that gave me a lot of hope. Felt pretty grim in early sobriety and I looked forward to the days when my lif got better and things started going my way again. It never really worked that way for me!

Since I put down drink everything I THOUGHT I wanted in my life has fallen apart. Lost my job and a ten year career, spent a long time out of work, worried at one stage I would end up homeless without even taking a drink. I started to panic and wonder what it was all about. I thought my precious 'image' was shattered...friends from over the years would hear about my demise and tut "how the mighty have fallen" was what I imagined they would say

Four years in I am still just realising how crazy I really was hehe. Today I am a simple guy with a simple life and I don't want or need most of the things I chased my whole life. I have a great job (though the money is atrocious!) that keeps me balanced and reminds me what life is all about. I think this is the sort of job I wanted when I was younger but didn't even know where to start. I think this job can take me where I truly want to go, but for once in my life my head is not 5 years in the future. Turn up every day, do a days work to the best of my ability and go home. Stay focused on today - what needs doing and what there is to enjoy.

I have a small flat to myself. It's not a palace, but people always tell me it looks like a home - like it's lived in. That's one thing I could never do...never settled anywhere, always had the idea that I'd be moving on soon, either bigger and better or out on my ass, so I never did the simple things like putting up pictures and redecorating. Hell, half the time I didn't even finish unpacking - what was the point, why not just live out of boxes?! When I'm sat in the flat on my own, I often pull out my guitar and have a little strum and a little sing, just to amuse myself. That came with sobriety too - always wanted to learn how to play but never got around to it before.

Thanks mostly to Alcoholics Anonymous, I have many many friends today and many more people I respect and have compassion for. That's a concept I never really understood, I used to be able to count my friends on one hand and that's the way I thought it was supposed to be. Anything more than a few trusted friends was somehow...dishonest/fake I thought. Over time I drove even these way and ended up very isolated. The friendships I have in AA today are life-changing and life-saving and - well I never experienced anything like them, they have a special quality to them.

So the benefits of sobriety have been unexpected for me. Peace, contentment, fulfillment - a bit of meaning to my life. I didn't know that I didn't have them and I didn't know that I wanted them I have a rich inner life today that does not depend on the circumstances and events that go on around me, and I'm grateful for that.

Here's a new one...for a couple of months now I've been seeing this really sweet girl. She's one of us and sober also. Its been painful ocassionally(!) As we're both human and both a little neurotic, but this has been one hell of an experience. I catch myself thinking sometimes that I'm glad I have enough self-esteem today to try and be in a two-way relationship with a girl like her, do you know what I mean? I have enough self-esteem to enjoy it and take the risk. Years gone by I would have sneered and looked down at someone like her, knowing somewhere at the bottom of my heart that she was 'too good for me'. Nothing's guaranteed, is it, so I'll keep you posted on that one hehe. Let's just say I am truly grateful for the experience and the opportunity to feel every bit of it.

Oh, and through all of the above I have not wanted or needed to take a drink. Well...there was this one time 3 years ago, but AA saved my butt

Thanks all

P

SDSurfn

Congrats Paul! Thank you for sharing some of your story. You're helping me stay sober today.