hiho

Hi everyone.
Back here on day one after starting drinking again on 18th december.
I've worked out the pattern. I stop for around 6 weeks to 3 months. Forget that I have a problem with drinking and think that somehow I am now normal. Have a couple of drinks in a social situation. Then again a few days later. Then again a few days later. Do fine and feel like I can drink like everyone else. Quickly spiral back to drinking at least a bottle of wine a day.
I think it is complacency when I pick up the first drink. Every time it happens I am thinking something like 'what the hell, just the one just this once won't hurt' It is always in a social situation with other people who aren't alcoholics. For example, the last time was my brothers birthday lunch. He had brought a bottle of expensive champagne and everyone had a glass. I wasn't pressured to drink and noone would have noticed if I had said no.
So how do you stop getting complacent? It sounds strange but after a while sober I genuinely forget what my life whilst drinking was like. Should I write it down and whip out the bit of paper every time I go somewhere where people are having a couple of drinks? What do I do?

thanks.

Dee74

Posting here regularly really helped me stop being complacent hiho. I found it much harder to listen to that voice that told me I was ok when I spent time here daily, sharing my story and reading others.

I knew I was not ok, and being here helped me finally accept that
welcome back!

D

Sapling

I committed to a proven program of recovery...I went to meetings everyday to remind myself what I am...And to learn how others have stayed sober for many years...It's not like you are being complacent...Because you aren't really doing anything but taking a break between drinking sessions....For me...To stop going to meetings...Working my program...And trying to help sick and suffering alcoholics would be complacent....I can't afford that...I wanted what these long time sober people have...So I work for it.

Xune

Having accepted to my very core that alcohol is no longer an option in my life, I guard against complacency.

There is no debate, no discussion and no second guessing. I cannot drink alcohol, as it will destroy my life and will slowly kill me.

My acceptance is the single greatest means of my never getting complacent.

I remind myself and reinforce my reality by posting here.

doggonecarl

The biggest hurdle to my recovery was my inability to believe I was an alcoholic. You can't be complacent about getting sober if you think one day you'll be able to control your drinking, that you can be a normal drinker. And by gosh, I was going to prove I wasn't an alcoholic by drinking...and failing...over and over again.

I don't call it complacency. I call it denial.

MIRecovery

When I finally came to the realization that every single time I challenged alcohol I lost. It was then I accepted that I just cannot drink. This was the beginning of my journey into sobriety.

I had to surrender and give up the fight. I believe surrendering is nothing more than joining the winning side

2granddaughters

Attending AA meetings regularly and watching the folks who don't attend regularly stumble back in reminds me of the power of alcohol.

As stated above, once I get dry I can begin to address my blindness, denial, selfishness, stubbornness etc in the 12 Steps of AA. Putting the bottle down is the start.

All the best.

Bob R

Johno1967

Hi HiHo,
Or should I say fellow sandgroper.
I had pretty much the same "GroundHog" Day thing happening for years. The longest I ever went without getting drunk was 6 weeks and that was after major surgery to remove a cranial tumor. I had a beer several hours before the op. I was scared I'd never be able to drink again but wanting to quit as well. Within 6 weeks I was sneaking wine and beer around the house and drinking openly whenever I could.

Have now gone nearly 4 months. The solution to complacency is vigilance based on humility, honesty and faith. I have a daily ritual and my first waking thought is of my Higher Power. I ask for another 24 hours of reprieve from alcohol and any personal weaknesses and faults that stand in the way. I ask for guidance. Every day I read a few pages of the BB, 24Hrs a Day, Pocket Sponsor. I have a morning prayer and a night time prayer. I dedicate 20 minutes daily to meditate (sitting quietly focusing) I do all this privately and would go to AA meetings if my personal and work life allowed me to. That's the only part that is missing.

Six months ago I would've recoiled in dismay at all that. Since starting the 12 Steps its actually just happened with little or no effort, almost like being taught how to ride a bike by an unseen hand. The routine has filled the hole I was trying to satisfy with booze. I'm a lot calmer and happier. I don't really worry about anything. It just all works out OK.

Here is the link to the AA branch in WA. You can find meetings to suit your location and schedule. I was blown away with how many there are. I've been to one and was really taken back by the sincerity of the people there.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Good luck mate.

Johno1967

BTW - This is important. Its not how much you drink as WHY you drink and whether you can take it or leave it that counts. Toward the end of my drinking career I'd be anyone's after a bottle of wine and would be sick as a dog the next day. 15 Years ago I could binge 48 hours straight and drink myself sober. Its why I was drinking and hiding it in shame that made me finally realize in a moment of clarity that I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable.

hamabi

Great you recognize this as a problem, as alcoholics commonly miss even very regular patterns for many years, thinking it will be different this time without altering a thing other than just simply realizing they have periods of not drinking followed by drinking again.

So what will you alter in your method of maintaining your sobriety this time?

FeelingGreat

Hiho, another West Australian here; I'm in the same boat as you. I've been sober for more than 9 months but I still think about having just one glass of champagne. I treat it as if I've only just stopped and the cravings do go away quickly. Now you know you can't have just one glass without gradually progressing to the bottle a day at least your path is clear if you choose to take it.

instant

After varying periods of sobriety from a few days to 6 months (over years) prior to my current 20 months this is my take

• First of all I had to recognise the pattern
• then I had to get over me- and realise that I did want to be abstinent and was prepared to manage my own ambivalence- complacency is only one part of that- I think there is wisdom in the steps but I do not attend AA
• then I had to get to the stage- where I was prepared to not give a **** what others thought about me drinking or not drinking- I know that can be a journey

I should add that after years of "learning" I was progressively digging myself into a deeper hole.