Gravel

What do you think?

I quit for 2 years after drinking for 8 years and it was exciting being sober, to see what it would be like and all that.

Then I relapsed and drank for 4 or 5 months. But I quit again a month ago . I'm not real excited bout it. I just go on living sober again. I'm not expecting some miracle to happen like i was the first time around.

I feel like I've been here and done this already which I have. it would have seemed more special if i hadn't relapsed. but whatever.

Fernaceman

I know how you feel. Been in the same situation myself a few times. I know it can be difficult knowing that you have to go thru all your previous milestones again. BUT, you can't reach NEW ones without passing the old ones.

Currently almost 3 months again myself. Step work might help, maybe?

paul99

The way I look at it would be like losing your virginity. You lose it once and that's it. Your first shot at sobriety was that virginity. You went back out and now you're sober again. And according to you, it's...meh. But along the same lines, just like losing your virginity, you might say anything after that is "just having sex". Yawn. But wait, it gets much better, doesn't it? You start to grow comfortable with yourself, your body, your emotional attachment to sex. You start to gain a confidence that you never had before. As you start to sexually mature, you find even more nuances about yourself and your boundaries and self-respect and health and respecting others. You are not defined by your sexuality, but it's a healthy integral part of you. You don't boast it, but you experience a depth of connection with others that you never could have had before.

Same as sobriety. This is just the beginning. It gets better. Enjoy

dparmstrong

I disagree. I had two years sober and went out for 9 years. By the grace of God I made it back. Now, I am willing to go through any length to get sober. I didnt work the steps last time. Today, I am working on a relationship with my HP, reading the Big Book, and working the steps with my sponsor. I am super excited to see what my HP has in store for me! Good luck!

TheEnd

I felt the same way too, the second time around. I was thinking I already did all this stuff before, but then I realized something. Maybe I should consider doing things just a little differently since it didn't work out the first time. Think about it this way, if you think you already know everything there is to know about sobriety, why did you go back out? Try and learn something new this second time around, you might be pleasantly surprised.

tomsteve

in those 2 years, did you build a hot rod? did you jump out of a perfectly good plane? did you go bungee jumping? did you go to pikes peak and pee off the edge? did you dance in the rain? did you go on a road trip with a group of friends? did you build a rocket that could hit 30k feet and also break the speed of sound? did you help someone out who is less fortunate? did you make a complete stranger laugh?
if you havent done any of that, then ya should try it sober and see just how exciting life can be sober.
the quality of my life sober is contigent on what i put into it.

Threshold

I've had the same experience, it was less exciting quitting the second (and third, and fourth time) but it was also more satisfying. More "cut the bs and get on with your life"...I laid aside the high school drama of it all, the pie in the sky thinking. I stopped expecting pats on the back and rounds of applause. I finally realized I was doing this thing for myself. This quiet purposeful thing.

Part of my addiction issues revolve around drama, extremes, pomp and circumstance, rituals and all that. I was hooked on it. When I was ready to lay that aside and enjoy the simple satisfaction of being clean and sober I was able to do this recovery thing.

I got tired of the relapse roller coaster. It was just that, a roller coaster, dips and climbs and speed and thrills, but I never got anywhere. I always got on and off at the same exact spot, then went round for another ride that took me nowhere.

Then one day I left the amusement park, got in my old car and drove on to live my life. There's a lot to be experienced and enjoyed outside of an amusement park.