michael1989

Okay. So I'm a 23 year old male that has been drinking since about 14. I took my first drink at about 12. I'm going to guess that I drank about 10-15 beers three days a week from 14-17 years old (additionally: pills once or twice a month in large quantities, about 2 grams weed a day, cocaine and other drugs on weekends). I drank anywhere from a pint to a fifth of vodka daily (throughout the day) from 18-20 in addition to a LOT of cocaine. I than quit drinking for about 6 months. I started again the day I turned 21 and I have been drinking almost everyday since (except for 2 30 day rehab stints). The amount I have drunk daily since I turned 21 has varied. One day I might drink a fifth of gin, the next I might drink a fifth of gin and 5-10 beers. Some days (rarely) I don't have anything to drink (especially when I'm trying to clean up for a job interview or court).

So.. I have attempted to stay in shape through all of this by working out at least 3 days a week for the past 6 years. I also eat really well (plenty of vitamins, water and protein).

Lately, I have been worried that alcohol is starting to harm my body. As of recently, I have noticed a change in myself. My voice has become really deep and I just don't talk the same anymore. It's like I just don't care about anything anymore. Even weirder, my looks have gotten better (I have been getting a lot of compliments from "girlfriends" lately). What I'm worried about is my laziness, I just feel lazy and tired as of recently. I can still go about my normal day but I'm not as productive (just really laid back).

I don't know what is happening to me as of lately. I just feel old. I feel as if I have seen and lived through too much and I want this to end, but the alcohol has been ingrained into my lifestyle. Like, it's a part of who I am. Anybody experience this? I would really hate to have to tell my family that I have already damaged my liver.

Impurrfect

((michael)) - Welcome to SR! I highly recommend you get checked out by a doctor, as that's the only way to know for sure. My dr. is great, knows all about my addiction history and I had my liver checked out a few years ago as crack (my drug of choice) is really hard on the liver, too.

In the meantime, this is a great place full of supportive people!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

You don't know what you've done to your liver until you see a doctor and have some tests run.

Go. Be honest about your alcohol consumption.

Are you interested in quitting drinking? Or do you want to know your liver is fine so you can continue?

michael1989

I would like to quit, but everything I do involves alcohol. Family, work, friends, school, there is seriously no way to get away from the stuff. At the same time I'm worried about my health.

doggonecarl

These situations don't require alcohol. You choose to drink.

Everyone here who has recovered has learned to deal with family, work, friends, school, and a myriad of other situations without drinking. You can too.

redneckrecovery

When I quit drinking and did some of the same things, I noticed that everyone didn't drink as much as I thought they did, or at all.

That was a real eye opener for me.

Bubovski

As already indicated you need to see a doctor and also initiate a life style change, minus drugs and alcohol
The liver is a very forgiving organ and you still have the advantage of youth.
Blood tests and maybe an ultra sound test will help indicate the state of your liver.
Its not only the liver either;alcohol can lead to round 60 other diseases.

Dee74

Hi Michael

we can't give medical advice here, but even if we could, you'd still need to see a Dr - things like cirrhosis or any other alcohol related damage really need a professional diagnosis.

As for living without booze - I lived with booze as the central thing in my life for 20 years. For 5 years I drank around the clock.

I'm going on for 6 years without it now.

I much prefer this way - it took some changes and some effort, but it was all worth it.
I hope you'll decide it's worth it too.

D

Xune

Alcohol was involved in my life for about 22 years. I found it very easy to get away from it. It is literally a matter of choice.

See your Doctor and be honest about your consumption.

DeanChev

I too have been drinking since I was around 14 years old. I am on day 8 of sobriety. Every time I drank recently, I would wake up with really bad lower back aches, probably my kidneys not liking the alcohol, which scares me to death, every time I even think about having a drink, I think about how much damage I have already done and I stop on the spot and find something else besides drinking to do. I have had alcohol in my life for around 6 years now, drinking almost every night 6-8 beers, and I never thought I could quit. I feel really good on day 8 and I have been drinking alot of water too. I'm sure my kidneys appreciate it. Good luck, you have to really want to quit in order to succeed. Go see a doctor and find an AA meeting. It's not worth shortening your life.

Fandy

Michael;
you're thread title is quite dramatic compared to this....really???? if you think you are in fact *dying* why not contact your physician who is best qualified to help you....

there is a way to get away from alcohol, but you have to WANT to do this....if you are looking for symptom comparisions, you might read the rules that do not allow medical advice.

i realize you are only 23 years old, but you are wise to realize how badly your future health will be affected by constant drinking. it is not going to get better, but it can get much worse. please go to your doctor and be honest about how much you drink. they are not there to judge you, but help you and give you the proper tests to evaluate your liver enzymes.

Corvus

Last time I stopped drinking, I insisted on drinking soft drinks when I was out. No shame in that. You don't have to drink in social situations in order to have a good time.Yes, it's difficult to not drink when you feel this strong compulsion to do so, but your life doesn't have to revolve around alcohol.

If you are afraid of liver damage, doctors can order a liver function test for starters - they basically take a blood sample and send it off to the lab.

ZZworldontheweb

Even if your liver is OK now, it will NOT stay that way if you keep drinking the amount you are. This is unsustainable and it will only get harder as you get older. You're on an elevator going down to hell but you can get off on any floor.

If "everything you do involves alcohol", then change everything you do. New friends, new surroundings, new pastimes. It's that serious. There are huge swaths of our society that never drink at all and their lives are perfectly fine.

You've been in rehab twice you say. Rehab is to get you dry, but you need another plan to keep from starting again. Are you in AA or something similar?

soberlicious

Well, I hope you aren't too attached to your looks, because alcohol and drug addiction will ravage them. It will age you beyond your years. It's hard on the body and the soul.

Sounds like you're in deep. What's your plan?

fini

Michael, if there'seriously no way to get away from the stuff, then...there's no way.
so why come here?

just poking you, you know?
there ARE ways, and you know there are.

and if you would hate to have to tell your family that you've already damaged your liver, then...well, simple: don't go find out. and if you do and it's damaged, don't tell. and if it;'s not damaged, just keep going since there's nothing to tell. this way, you can postpone the telling and since in any case there's seriously no way to get away from the stuff and you might not be dying....
i'm pulling your chain, hoping you'll see the circular illogic of what you're saying...

at you age, i started shoving the dawning glimpses away. i knew my relationship with booze wasn't normal, and i started trying to quit.
hope you get there faster than i did. you're going to a recovery site, talking with others. good start.


there ARE ways.

paul99

For me, it was I was the one who ingrained my life with alcohol. I chose the drinking buddies (I called them "friends" back then), I chose the places I hung out, I chose the enabling women I dated, I chose situations and events where there would be lots of booze, and in the end, I chose ways to protect and increase my drinking. I did this for 25 years and it got worse year after year.

But guess what? It's not ingrained in my lifestyle any more. Once I surrendered and found recovery through AA, I found it quite easy to disentangle myself from those people and places. They didn't serve my recovery and new lifestyle anymore. And as mentioned, not everything involves alcohol. I thought it did too, but I was looking through vodka goggles.

Your alcoholism is trying to have you play victim - oh jeez, everyone drinks in my life and I am completely surrounded by booze at all times and I would like to quit, but man, there is so much around me...maybe I just shouldn't bother, etc. Not so. Look around here...read the stories, the successes, the people who have overcome much more serious conditions than you or I could ever be in...and you'll find it...recovered lives.

It's never too late.

justanother1

Working out and eating well won't do much, if you drink those amounts of alcohol. Alcohol blocks vitamin absorption etc. Your body is focused to process the alcohol not the food. Do you still take any other drugs? Go see your doctor, get checked. Good luck!

SixStringZen

As difficult as it is, you need to see a doctor...and believe me, I know how difficult it is...


Then, not to put too fine a point on it...you could likely die...