Please give me tips and advice on how to quit on my own...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8
Please give me tips and advice on how to quit on my own...
Hello,
I spent the entire day reading on this forum. I am so impressed by all of you. Those of you who are in recovery and those who are on the verge of taking the next step. You are all so brave. I have so much hope from reading your stories.
A little about me… I am a 50’ish woman, divorced, overweight, with a horrible anxiety/panic disorder. I have been drinking on and off for 30 years. I have been drinking daily (or nightly) for the past 10 years. I drink approximately three-quarters to a full bottle of wine every night. I am 100% certain I am an alcoholic. Thankfully, I never drink before 5:30 p.m. and am able to fully function during the day. With my weight and alcohol intake, I do NOT feel good. I am worried every day about the state of my health. Something HAS to change.
I live in a small town where I work with children. There is NO way I can attend an AA meeting or bring this up to my doctor. I need to do this on my own. Can anyone here give me ideas as to books I can read and/or ways to safely taper down? I will not go “cold turkey” as I’ve read that is very dangerous. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. I am beyond ready to change my ways and live a healthy lifestyle for myself and my children.
~Ida
I spent the entire day reading on this forum. I am so impressed by all of you. Those of you who are in recovery and those who are on the verge of taking the next step. You are all so brave. I have so much hope from reading your stories.
A little about me… I am a 50’ish woman, divorced, overweight, with a horrible anxiety/panic disorder. I have been drinking on and off for 30 years. I have been drinking daily (or nightly) for the past 10 years. I drink approximately three-quarters to a full bottle of wine every night. I am 100% certain I am an alcoholic. Thankfully, I never drink before 5:30 p.m. and am able to fully function during the day. With my weight and alcohol intake, I do NOT feel good. I am worried every day about the state of my health. Something HAS to change.
I live in a small town where I work with children. There is NO way I can attend an AA meeting or bring this up to my doctor. I need to do this on my own. Can anyone here give me ideas as to books I can read and/or ways to safely taper down? I will not go “cold turkey” as I’ve read that is very dangerous. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. I am beyond ready to change my ways and live a healthy lifestyle for myself and my children.
~Ida
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Hi Ida, this is a great decision you are making. Tammy711 has make a great post about her experience, and you can read it here.
See if that resonates with you, There is more of that sort of discussion on our Secular Connections forum. Just like at the other SR forums, you will find a lot of support for you. Welcome.
I need to give you my 2 cents on something you said, about not seeing your doctor. I do not think that's a good idea, please reconsider because she can be a tremendous resource for you.
Keep posting, Ida. Best to you.
See if that resonates with you, There is more of that sort of discussion on our Secular Connections forum. Just like at the other SR forums, you will find a lot of support for you. Welcome.
I need to give you my 2 cents on something you said, about not seeing your doctor. I do not think that's a good idea, please reconsider because she can be a tremendous resource for you.
Keep posting, Ida. Best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8
Thank you for the links and warm welcome. 
I live in such a small community that I would not feel comfortable sharing this with anyone - even my doctor. I would like to first try to do this on my own and if I can't - I will consider speaking to her.
I would love to know if there are any good books that have helped anyone here. I looked on Amazon and there are so many to choose from. Since I can't buy them all, I thought I would ask here before making a purchase.
I live in such a small community that I would not feel comfortable sharing this with anyone - even my doctor. I would like to first try to do this on my own and if I can't - I will consider speaking to her.
I would love to know if there are any good books that have helped anyone here. I looked on Amazon and there are so many to choose from. Since I can't buy them all, I thought I would ask here before making a purchase.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Overcoming your Alcohol, Drug and Recovery Habits / Desena
The New Earth / Eckhart Tolle
AVRT The New Cure /Trimpey
The Easy Way to Quit Drinking / Allen Carr
Drinking A Love Story / Caroline Knapp
I found each of those useful, Ida. Just read one at a time, with the exception of Tolle, that one takes quite a while to chew through, I read it a little at a time.
I also recommending The Big Book of AA to you. Every addict should be at least a little familiar with it.
The New Earth / Eckhart Tolle
AVRT The New Cure /Trimpey
The Easy Way to Quit Drinking / Allen Carr
Drinking A Love Story / Caroline Knapp
I found each of those useful, Ida. Just read one at a time, with the exception of Tolle, that one takes quite a while to chew through, I read it a little at a time.
I also recommending The Big Book of AA to you. Every addict should be at least a little familiar with it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8
Thank you very much for the book suggestions. I am very excited about the AVRT book. I will buy that to start out with.
One quick question... I know I cannot ask for medical advice here. I was only curious if someone who has drank the duration and amount I have, should be concerned about horrible withdrawals. I am thinking the answer will be yes.
I am thrilled at thought of a life without alcohol, I am just afraid of hurting myself in the process.
One quick question... I know I cannot ask for medical advice here. I was only curious if someone who has drank the duration and amount I have, should be concerned about horrible withdrawals. I am thinking the answer will be yes.
I am thrilled at thought of a life without alcohol, I am just afraid of hurting myself in the process.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Tis a tricky question you have asked here, Ida, and one I can't touch. We are all different with varying degrees of everything, and the only thing I can say for certain is that we are no more than a random assortment of internet folks, and I don't even look remotely like a doctor.
Have a look at the sticky at the top of the page Quitting - What to Expect, you will find some information there. Again, your Dr is the best person to advise you here.
You can find much good information online, and the RationalRecovery website offers a crash course in AVRT for free. That is a good place to start.
You are right to be excited at what is about to happen, about what you are about to achieve. You will have one overriding thought very soon - why the heck did I wait so long? Onward!
Have a look at the sticky at the top of the page Quitting - What to Expect, you will find some information there. Again, your Dr is the best person to advise you here.
You can find much good information online, and the RationalRecovery website offers a crash course in AVRT for free. That is a good place to start.
You are right to be excited at what is about to happen, about what you are about to achieve. You will have one overriding thought very soon - why the heck did I wait so long? Onward!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Your doctor is there to help you not judge you. Nor arw they allowed to divulge your personal information. Patient privacy laws are there to protect you. That being said, the staff will see your records too. I would reiterate that to your doc. When/if you go.
i hope you start to feel better as you get a few days sober and get the alcohol out of your system.
I'm the same age bracket. Drinking& menopause do not go well together.
Figure that each bottle of wine has roughly 800-1000empty alcohol &sugar calories per day, X7 days a week.
oh and btw, you might consider going to your ob-gyno for help too, if you are concerned about you privacy. Most doctors would be concerned about violating the privacy laws.
i hope you start to feel better as you get a few days sober and get the alcohol out of your system.
I'm the same age bracket. Drinking& menopause do not go well together.
Figure that each bottle of wine has roughly 800-1000empty alcohol &sugar calories per day, X7 days a week.
oh and btw, you might consider going to your ob-gyno for help too, if you are concerned about you privacy. Most doctors would be concerned about violating the privacy laws.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13
Welcome Ida!
I also live in a small town and was concerned with anonymity and validate your fears. I decided what was was best for my situation was to attend AA meetings in an adjoining county. The drive is only about 20 minutes and it gives me some self reflection time while driving. My sponsor understands and is from that fellowship. Sometimes we meet in the middle over coffee or before/after meetings.
I also would still recommend talking to your doctor. Chances are, depending on recent tests, your Doctor may already know. You could approach the subject of weight loss or anxiety and it could lead into discussing your drinking that way.
Good luck in your ventures, realize you are not alone.
I also live in a small town and was concerned with anonymity and validate your fears. I decided what was was best for my situation was to attend AA meetings in an adjoining county. The drive is only about 20 minutes and it gives me some self reflection time while driving. My sponsor understands and is from that fellowship. Sometimes we meet in the middle over coffee or before/after meetings.
I also would still recommend talking to your doctor. Chances are, depending on recent tests, your Doctor may already know. You could approach the subject of weight loss or anxiety and it could lead into discussing your drinking that way.
Good luck in your ventures, realize you are not alone.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I was 53 when I quit drinking...and that was 23+ years ago.
Best decision I ever made...I'm glad you shared with us...
You could go to a doctor in a near by town...and YES! that is always
the wisest idea expecially as you are concerned about health issues.
By telling a professional about your drinking...a simple blood test
can be done....and suggestions on how best to proceed with de toxing
We also have excerpts here on the book that convinced me to quit
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum...
.
Best decision I ever made...I'm glad you shared with us...
You could go to a doctor in a near by town...and YES! that is always
the wisest idea expecially as you are concerned about health issues.
By telling a professional about your drinking...a simple blood test
can be done....and suggestions on how best to proceed with de toxing
We also have excerpts here on the book that convinced me to quit
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum...
.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
The one book that has been the most helpful for me to treat my alcoholism has been the book Alcoholics Anonymous, aka The Big Book.
Working the program of AA as it is outlined in the book even though you cannot attend meetings is possible. This is something you can do on your own.
You can also call AA and ask for someone to call you. You could arrange for a telephone sponsor.
Working the program of AA as it is outlined in the book even though you cannot attend meetings is possible. This is something you can do on your own.
You can also call AA and ask for someone to call you. You could arrange for a telephone sponsor.
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
You will get a lot of support here at SR. Get involved. Get on the chat line and give it your best shot. Help is here if you ask for it. There is a chat meeting on Tues. and Fri. at 9 pm EST. I am pulling for you. You can do this if you try hard enough. Love and Respect. Logo.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: South Africa
Posts: 33
Get some kind of professional assistance. I stopped drinking on my own and then found myself going for sweets, then butter, butter, butter, coffee and bacon, put on weight. I did not have a clue what to do nutritionally and had not been prepared for problems like that. I found that for a long time things were worse than when I was drinking as I also did not know how to deal with the emotional, psychological stuff that surfaced. I do have a loving and helpful family and have managed with their support to get where I wanted to be. It would have been kinder to them if I had gone to a professional for help.
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
Originally Posted by Miggie 
Get some kind of professional assistance. I stopped drinking on my own and then found myself going for sweets, then butter, butter, butter, coffee and bacon, put on weight. I did not have a clue what to do nutritionally and had not been prepared for problems like that. I found that for a long time things were worse than when I was drinking as I also did not know how to deal with the emotional, psychological stuff that surfaced. I do have a loving and helpful family and have managed with their support to get where I wanted to be. It would have been kinder to them if I had gone to a professional for help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8
Thank you to everyone who responded. You made me feel very welcome. You all gave such sound and helpful advice as well. Thank you. I believe I will start out by reading a few books and see how that goes. At least I'm finally moving in the right direction.
You all gave such sound and helpful advice as well. Thank you. I believe I will start out by reading a few books and see how that goes. At least I'm finally moving in the right direction. Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
As stated by others, I cannot give you any medical advice. But I wanted to say hi and welcome and Grats for your courageous and smart decision to stop drinking. I do not go to AA but have read parts of the Big Book and have learned a lot about it from SR members. I also found myself drawn to AVRT. I think different strokes for different folks and I learned from others to take what works for me and leave the rest. I know deep down the door to AA will be open if I find I need to add something. I think the early days are very much about not slipping into the same old routines. If you normally drink at home in the evening, go to the bookstore and spend a couple hours with a tea and some books, or go to a movie, or a yoga class. If you normally drink when out with others, get in a foxhole for a little while. It is difficult but you get stronger an you start to want to protect your sobriety. So you start to challenge yourself and test the waters with what you can handle. But you plan plan plan. Plan what you're going to drink- tea, coffee, soda, juice. Plan your response if any at all about why you're not drinking- but don't obsess because people truly do not care as much as you think or I thought. Plan an escape route in case it's needed. Plan to sit with uncomfortable feelings and let them be felt. That's where I'm at with 5 months. I don't know how to do longer than that but I'm learning every day and I'm still on this website every day. Join the class of October to speak with others at your starting poor who also will probably be on frequently. Best of luck!
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