Griffman

Hey guys I used the search option and could not find much on this subject. This is my first full day with no alcohol after if did a taper off. It has been almost 24 hours since my last drink. Been pounding the vitamins, water, keeping my nutrition up as well as I can.

I went to work this morning, (didn't feel right even then), and ever since I came back even though my wife and children are all around me and I am interacting with them I feel extraordinarily lonely. Not to mention super super tired. Is the loneliness just my brain sorting itself out? It's really an awful feeling, like I am not really alive, but I am.

Anyone else feel this way when you quit? Thanks, Griff.

Dee74

I would have called it lonely, but I felt quite depressed and alone.

I think that's natural when we remove something from our lives that's been there for years - even if it is toxic.

I think deep down I knew my life had to change - this was the end of one chapter and the start of another...

It got better the more I got accustomed to being sober, and building a new sober life - ditto with the tiredness

Griffman

Yes, and what seems to further add to it is my family is normal and cheerful, and I want to be that way for them, but it seems impossible for the time being.

yogachic

A thing I read about alcohol is how it physiologically affects the brain, and eventually becomes the only stimulus that can bring feelings of pleasure. Here, I'll go find the article and link it b'c understanding that part of alcohol helped me think very differently about alcohol and the high it produces.

OK, this whole article is good, but here's a link to the specific page of the article that explains this let down after stopping drinking:

Secret of AA: After 75 Years, We Don't Know How It Works | Wired Magazine | Wired.com


Good news is that you can reverse the damage and get your normal pleasure sensors working again. I'm not so great at explaining this... so read the article and it'll make sense!

Griffman

This is so nice of you! I am reading it now.

CarolD

Please give yourself time to heal...it's still very early for you

Charon

Just let them know that you are feeling blue and will come out of it in a while and ask them to be patient. They will understand and support you.

DayTrader

I'd suggest it's a part of "alcoholism." which, I believe, affects us the most and the strongest, when we're NOT drinking.

Feeling alone, separate, different, worse-than (or better than), etc - they're all emotions/ideas that get me feeling sooo bad that, sooner or later, I drink again just so I can hopefully feel "ok" again - if only for a little while.

In my recovery it's been imperative to get to the root of those feelings, to find their source, and to the point where they're either gone, not as strong, or easily cast aside. Getting to that point is, to me, what recovery is all about. When your problems are removed from you....there's no "need" to drink anymore.

It's good that you recognize it and better that you're talking about it. Next move is to recover FROM it. For that, the spiritual path is a heck of a fix!

Sapling

That's a great read yogachic.....I've never heard it put like this...But I'll take it.

AA, it seems, helps neutralize the power of these sensory cues by whipping the prefrontal cortex back into shape. Publicly revealing one’s deepest flaws and hearing others do likewise forces a person to confront the terrible consequences of their alcoholism—something that is very difficult to do all alone.

RobbyRobot

I could not disagree more with the supposition that feeling alone, separate, different, etc. defines being a part of alcoholism itself. Many persons, far many more than all the alcoholics combined in the world today, routinely experience feeling alone, separate, different, etc...

Alcoholism can have several workable definitions, depending respectively on a persons life experiences, but they all have one common element: alcohol

Alcohol is the deciding factor which must define alcoholism, and not ordinary everyday human emotional challenges. Of course alcoholics are human, and so its not surprising they feel human...

I'm an alcoholic. A recovered alcoholic drug addict to be more precise.

When I read claims that alcoholism effects alcoholics MORE when not drinking than when drinking, I'm thinking such claims are deluded at best and loaded with wish-fulfilment at worse.

Yes, when i detoxed, I craved and obsessed over alcohol, because of my addiction to alcohol. I needed to get past that physical addiction, that mental obsession, and that spiritual malady to end my troubles with alcoholism.

My feelings on ordinary everyday life really had nothing to do with my alcoholism, and everything to do with my sobriety, with my new life of living alcohol free. My alcoholism is arrested. I am freely sober. Alcoholism does not affect me more now that I haven't drank for decades than it did when I did drink... seriously.

This is a dangerous statement, imo, for any person to embrace who already claims they are recovered from alcoholism. Last I knew, you claimed you were recovered, DT. Are you no longer recovered? Are you in the midst of suffering from your alcoholism?

My sobriety protects me from getting drunk because of feelings/emotions/whatevers -- no matter how bad they may be to experience -- and I will not drink again just to feel "ok" again... I have a solution to my alcoholism which totally saves me from drinking again simply because of ordinary human experiences. Problems or no problems, I have no "need" to drink.

I'm sorry DT. You may or may not appreciate my post, nonetheless, our relationship here on SR deserved no less. We didn't get along for years, and then we did, and here we are...

RobbyRobot

Yeah, I totally felt that way when i quit. I did a supervised detox. I wasn't really able to connect with others except within a lonely manner for several days. I just felt so disconnected because of the depth of my concerns for my well-being at the time, my regrets from my past, and my fears of the future. As well, alcohol had kept me deluded with that constant buzz of dumbing myself down to the vitality and empowerment of simple human interactions in everyday life. I was going from grey to full color when I quit... and i was overwhelmed, and so very reserved and cautious.

As I kept free from alcohol, and got on with the business at hand, staying quit, i soon learned to be more connected with others, and things of course got better as I changed out my old thinking for new thinking, old behaviours for new, and so on...

Its very early. Don't sweat any of this, imo. Its just a natural consequence of quitting drinking alcohol. Welcome to SR!

TheJungianThing

I literally think I went through a "mourning" process with alcohol. A woman was in a meeting describing the recent loss of her husband and I was relating with the feelings while at the same time intellectually knowing - I didn't lose anyone.

Why was I having those feelings ?

6 months sober. I was learning to live without my SOLUTION to my own spiritual maladay.

Prayer, meditation, service to others allows me to be alone, but not feel "lonely". Meetings and service to others allows me to get perspective on me and my troubles and worries. I can be a "part of" today, largely because I'm not driven by a delusion that I should be "it" and "it's all about me" today.

But I do relate with the desolate feelings in early sobriety.

THEOjibway

For sure. I felt utterly alone even though my parents were making me meals and driving me to work. I felt I was in my own world of utter despair. It's normal to feel this way. Youve been drinking for so long and been so focused on drinking that when you finally quit you have no other thing to think about but to survive the next few days. I felt this way for the reason that everyone in my family were displeased with my constant promising of never to drink again and then I'd turn around and go drinking again. It was hard for them to look at me, believe me when I said I was done for good this time. I kept to myself most of the time in my basement bedroom they made for me since they refused to take away the dressing room my mother created after I moved out and kept me down here. I couldn't walk for too long without feeling dizzy, my body tingled alot and sometimes I was afraid to go to sleep in fear I wouldn't wake up. I had drank so much for 4 days straight my body was close to shutting down. Even after a month I still felt horrible. Now.... I've been sober for a year and a month. One day at a time. You can do it, anyone can if they have faith and knowledge that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Sure... it will be a challenge at first.... I never thought I'd ever sober up and look where I am now If I can do it, anyone can do it. We're just human after all. Good luck and I know how you feel in regards of feeling alone. It will get better and you may have hardships... but today my parents look at me and smile and tell me how proud they are... lol gotta try to hold back my tears here... I'm so grateful... thanks for the posted question. Made my day :')

Griffman

Thanks everyone, I have read all of your posts and have taken them to heart. The lonely feelings are dissipating a bit, however I went to the store earlier, felt really paranoid and thought I was going to pass out a couple of times, either from anxiety, blood sugar, or a combination of the two.

I have been really snappy with the wife, though, I always heard it would happen, and the scary thing is I couldn't believe just how angry I felt. I just had to calm down and go to the bedroom, lock the door, and login to SR.

EDIT: Also, even during my drinking days I would attempt to eat fairly healthy. I can't believe the amount of JUNK FOOD I am eating now!!! I would rather eat junk than drink alcohol so it's a good trade for now.