mirage

Anyone who tells someone going to AA that they should be out drinking is an insensitive tool, imo. I hope she gives a killer haircut, cuz she gives crap advice. Hang in there, Pock. Stay strong, it's worth it.

Gottalife

I was 22 when I was blessed with sobriety. No one of any importance who knew me would say I wasn't an alcoholic. But my drinking "friends" had their doubts. They drank the same way as me so if I was alcoholic, what did that make them? They were uncomfortable and tried to pull me back into the mire. I can't even remember their names now.

Us young ones have some advantages in getting sober now. We haven't done as much damage physically. Our amends list is bound to be shorter and easier - most people love to see a young person get back on track and they are very willing to forgive. And we will have plenty of time to experience all that life has to offer, and it had so much more to offer than I realised.
I speak from experience here.

Threshold

Since you referred to alcoholism as a disease, I'll offer this..

Imagine you told your hairdresser that you found a lump in your breast.

What if she said "ignore it, you're too young to have breast cancer, you shouldn't have to worry about that at your age."

Hmmm...hairdresser is NOT a dr. Leaving something potentially deadly to grow and spread is NOT a good idea.

"Yeah, don't go to surgery or chemo, Chemo is a drag, makes your hair fall out, makes you puke"

It would be pretty easy to see that such talk is rubbish. All the "not yets" of breast cancer...aren't a good reason to ignore reality. All the 'not yets' of alcoholism aren't a good reason to ignore being an alcoholic.

People who don't fully understand the difference between partying and alcoholism are apt to give poor advice.

Calling your sponsor was a great move...like going to a dr about a breast lump...getting to the heart of the matter. Dealing with reality rather than what we wish were true.

All of us want to be talked into believing that things are fine, ok, and there is nothing to worry about, but that can lull us into not addressing the situation until it is full blown crisis.

I know people who have done this with issues like cancer, diabetes, etc. Many of them didn't live to tell about it.

Pock89

Like any true alcoholic, I just can't stop obsessing about this.
I feel like ever since I had that conversation with her, it's all I can think about. I've been in such a funk.
It's hard because I WANT to believe that I don't have a problem! I want to believe that these people are right. But I know that not only do I have a problem, but it's just going to get worse if I continue.
I think that because I still have a lot of "not yets" people don't realize that I really do need help. My boyfriend is also in recovery. He lost everything, and his descent to the bottom was not pretty. So of course, because everyone saw all of this, he has all of these people cheering him on and supporting him. For me, I got help early on. Partly because I grew up in an alcoholic household and so I know exactly what's going to happen if I continue.
A lot of my drinking was cleverly masked by strategic planning. I'd always invite a group of friends out to the bar with me. Not so that I can hang out with these people. I did it just because I didn't want to look like an alcoholic. Or I'd go to the liquor store and tell the guy that works there that I'm buying all of this booze because I'm having a dinner party. And then I'd go home and drink it by myself. I hated the person I became when I was drinking. I was a liar and a master manipulator. And because no one caught onto this, it came as a shock to some people when I decided to try and get help.
Lately I've just felt miserable sober. I mean, physically I feel awesome! But mentally, it's like my mind is still at the bar...

Where did my pink cloud go??
Sigh...

Mark75

I get similar, not exactly, things said to me. I'm older...so the age thing, well yea I get it... I certainly felt like I should be drinking when I was 22... So I did... I wanted to make sure I got it right, so I practiced frequently, LOL

When I felt like you do... Questioning, all that... I learned that if I put those doubts and questions aside for another time ... It could wait for later... Rather than fighting it, bargaining, doubting, struggling, I just resolved to not drink that day and let those feelingS pass... Realizing it was OK to leave them unresolved.

36 days is awesome! But still very early in sobriety. These questions you have need to be answered, but maybe not now, not all at once. Don't drink today.

flutter

Hopefully you don't often take life and death advice from a hairdresser...

Or you could.. and you could keep drinking alcoholically until you are at a point to where your drinking makes even less sense than it does now, has damaged your health, relationships and spirit. Not to sound totally snarky, but I think you've identified that there's an issue.. it doesn't resolve on it's own as much as we have all wished it would.