NewHouse2012

Hi. Been sober for 31 days and now getting really irritable, frustrated,angry and feel hopeless. I keep thinking is this it? (life I mean). Is this all there is? Just being frustrated and fed up? I have a toddler who keeps me up,at night so there are times I am unrested and just really tired, unmotivated and kinda depressed-especially in the mornings.

This leads me to my thoughts that if I am feeling this way and the warm glow of being healthy and sober is gone and the cravings start kicking in that I told myself I must attend AA to deal with these issues. Well the day is today and I am terrified of AA. I will be so scared to walk thru the door and sit there. I don't know if I can do it and face the stigma. It's like walking thru the door and admitting you are powerless and weak. Don't get me wrong, I admire each and everyone of you who attend AA. I only wish I had the courage you all have to do so. Wish I could take all this banter and loneliness in my head away. The booze used to do that pretty well.

Elisabeth888

Walking in the door for the first time is not easy. But it is also not as bad as the fear and anticipation about it.

Everyone is scared to go to AA for the first time. That is why most groups have greeters and a newcomers packet.

Just do it! Chances are, you will be very glad you went.

MycoolFitz

I've attended (off and on) for years and I still get a knot in my tummy. It's not about AA for the most part its great, its just that I get nervous walking into a room full of people. I mostly just sit quietly and listen and always feel more grounded when I leave. I figure if I could drink my ass off for years I can walk into the room, its definately more sane.

bryangt

You will not be 'forced' to join or sign -up for anything. No contracts to sign. Go & just be a sponge...take what you want to take & leave what you don't want behind. And like buying a new pair of shoes, try a few different ones on for size...once you feel which one's make you more comfortable--go back & wear them again. It will help with the issues you are facing, you will hear yourself through others at first. Best of luck & try to be positive. Do it for yourself.

dallasblues

What you're feeling sounds perfectly normal. I too was scared outta my wits. But I think you'll be pleasantly surprised when you go. Its anything but gloom and doom. There's a lot of hope and inspiration to be found in AA. The first step is always the toughest. The good news is, everyone in those rooms knows it... and have taken that first step themselves. Give yourself a little credit. You're showing lots of courage already just by talking about it.

dallasblues

By the way... Don't worry about the stigma deal. No one will even know you're there. It's anonymous after all.

awuh1

I understand the fear. Everyone had it before their first meeting. Tell people it's your first meeting so they understand how you feel. Know that when you drive home, you will be very happy you went. Oh ya, tell us your experience when you get back.

MalkavianEmily

We're a pretty friendly bunch all told. I've not been to that many meetings, but I've always come away feeling more at ease. The first couple of times I was nervous before I set off. The fact that the second one was on a day when I'd been drinking... didn't help. But it soon passed.

hypochondriac

I had this a last friday Newhouse...just go! Seriously. You'll feel so much better after you've been. I had huge anxiety before hand too, even walking down there I was telling myself 'I'm not going to AA, I'm just going for a nice walk'... but afterwards I really felt like I had nothing to be afraid of anymore, and I had another tool to help me stay sober And my family were really proud that I'd gone too. I think maybe only alcoholics think that there is a stigma attached to going to AA. And the fear is natural because by really admitting it you are killing of your addiction by doing something to overcome it. I went because, even though I get heaps of support on here, I was still feeling a bit alone in this and it does really help knowing that there is a place I can go if I need it.

Let us know how it goes x

Oh, and have a look at the sticky in the 12 step forum about your first AA meeting. I found that really useful x

Mark75

Face the stigma... in front of a bunch of alcoholics?? Seriously?... LOL.

Everyone there had to walk through those doors a first time. Get over yourself and you will find nothing but acceptance and support, and maybe some laughter...

ExistenceGypsy

Asking for help the first time was the hardest thing I ever did. I was used to going it alone - just me and my buddy the bottle. I continued to drink even when drinking didn't work any more but eventually it got to be too painful and I finally had to ask for help (or kill myself-which I failed at).
Asking for help the first time was the hardest thing I ever did, and was also the best thing I ever did.
This sober life is full of meaning, rich in experience and a way of life I wouldn't trade for anything. It takes a little time to get happy, but it's worth every bit of effort.
You can do it.
Don't think about it, just do it!
(and re-post after you do).

tomsteve

I don't know if I can do it and face the stigma.

i had to look up the word stigma:
an identifying mark; you wont get tattoed.
a token of disgrace. going to get help for your problem isnt disgraceful. if yer like me, ya didnt care who saw ya knee slappin drunk.
we are poeple who have found a solution to our common problem nd love to help others get it.

please let us know how it went,eh?

sugarbear1

I understand. Just go. Let us know how it went!

Hugs,

jsch

I hear ya! We were all there once before. I still get nervous walking in a room full of people. But those in aa are the kindest most genuine people I have ever met. Don't think too much about it just walk in.

UpperbucksAAguy

Hope you give AA a chance. May I suggest you go and observe?

Uninvited

My biggest problem the first few times was walking through the gauntlet of smokers standing outside the doors of the meeting...

CarolD

Here is the link recommended by hypochondriac..she beat me to it..

Your First AA Meeting<

I went with a friend to my first meeting...maybe that is something you could do easier?

I sure hope you will explore AA....it's an awesome adventure ..

OklaBH

i was scared to go my first time. i was worried someone would know me. Im touched in the head though. Ive thrown up at weddings, been to jail, fired, thrown out of a casino, and there was a very drunken youtube vidoe that floated around...yet....I was worried someone at an AA meeting might know me.

Boleo

That's when AA works BEST! If we weren't powerless and weak, why would any of us go there in the first place.

StevenT

I don't blame you one bit. The preconceptions formed before going there are truly terrifying. The only thing I have to say is think about things you had to face before, such as the first time you got into bed with another person. What you thought would happen and what actually happened were two different things, weren't they? You don't know what will happen until it happens For me, the rooms of NA and AA are the best things that have ever happened to me. Hope you give it a shot!