Shadydeal

First I would like to say to those making any effort to recovery. Congratulation and I wish you the very best. I know it's a struggle and although I have been fortunate not to have to fight A..I have my own issues to fight to recover. I have been involved with the struggles of acholoism from loving an A. I have made my fair contributions by enabling, for that I will always be very sorry! I am going to make this as short as possibel. Male and female meet in rehab. We are not talking about functional A either....can't hold jobs, literally don't function. They get out, hook up, stay sober 30 days and the road to HELL for almost the next few years. She goes in and out of jail for this that and the other. She has once aain been released after doing another 6 months. He is still drunk but holding a job for the moment. Drinking on the job and days off binges. He's always done with her but yet.....after confessing great love for me again....within 2 hrs....he is over there. Now I know what your thinking concerning my role. I agree! Tell him to get lot ...no contact. My question...why would she want anything to do with him and vice verses. He tells all of she is crazy, trash, still on probation....we don't get it. Any in site would be appreiate. Once again, best wishes to all of you struggling and making an effort. Not only for yourself but for those that love you.

CarolD

I really don't know....but...my question is....
why are you involved with this guy?

It's my experience that not all loves are forever and some
are simply toxic....

Hope you find peace and joy in your life..

Dee74

I agree with Carol, sassydog.

Love often isn't logical...I'd also hope that even the worst drunk has something in him or her that someone could love...

But everybody knows when a relationship is bad for both involved. If this is you and you're at that point, then stick to your guns. Do whats best for you.

Some love stories do run their course.

D

UpperbucksAAguy

Why do abused spouses continue to go back? There is no difference when we get down to it- some people can only function in relationships when there is chaos

Uninvited

I think booze makes any behavior possible. I watched my father who has been married to my mother for 40+ years (without ever mentioning there was a problem) leave a note on the table for her that he was moving out. A freaking note! I found out later that he was on pills and drinking. He moved in with his girlfriend from high school who he hadn't seen in over 40 years. The next year was a combination of him moving back in with my mother, professing his love for her, and then calling the other woman immediately. He went back and forth between the two for a year until we finally got him sober.

He's back with my mom now, but only because she's a saint and quite helpless on her own. And it doesn't hurt that the other woman finally got fed up with him and threatened to put a restraining order on him.

I feel your pain, but if he's drinking, his behavior is not rational.

Shadydeal

Uninvited,
I can't thank you enough. Yes, drunk....I had not seen nor been in contact with him for sometime for this reason. So, this was the first time in sometime that I had been around him. It was disappointing but nothing surprises me. I know I have to be the one to say...enough is enough! I just though maybe this women was Doberman coming out of jail and maybe having been there enough....was working on staying sober. So, I don't understand why she would want to be around him unless she wasn't serious about her future. In truth, I am hurt but glad she gets to deal it. He's a wonderful guy but no one is attractive when they are in that condition, God way of protecting me but the rejection, lies still hurt. This too shall pass. Thank you for your time.

tomsteve

why would she want anything to do with him and vice verses.

because they are sick people, mentally, emotionally, and spriritually.