renee410

So I was very lonely and bored earlier today. I decided to go for a drive, went to ATM, got cash, got gas. I still felt lonely and bored...went to familiar bar, got beer, then a couple more decided the guys weren't giving me enough attention, went somewhere else, had more beer
Ugh
I need sober friends

Sylver36

Hi renee410. I'm new here & I need sober friends too.

joecards

So, start again on Monday. Its hard to go back to day 1, but its better not to postpone it. I did that for too long.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, renee.

Glad you came right back here. Maybe there are some lessons to be learned from this? I know for me incidents like that began to reveal something very important: alcohol makes everything worse. In fact, alcohol was very often the cause of my problems, or at least made them all much harder to manage. Alcohol is a depressant, after all.

Things started looking brighter to me after I put some distance between me and my last bottle. I still have crappy days, but that's part of life, and they pass a lot faster now that I've seen through the myth that alcohol can ever do anything good for me.

Don't dwell on it, just learn from it. This will look like a minor pothole in your rearview mirror.

CarolD

Welcome to all of our newer members....so glad to see you ..

Yes...in early sobriety...I too needed to find sober friends...and all my social
circle were at best..excessive drinkers.

When I joined an AA group of mostly singles...that helped me do just that..
We did and do many interesting things outside of meetings...and
support each other with our goal of living sober and well...

That is a huge plus when you connect to AA..
I sure hope y'all will check out your local meetings....Yes you too can win over alcohol...

stillsleeping

Hi Renee,

Ready's right - it always, always makes things worse. I got depressed in the beginning because I didn't know what else to DO but drink. I turned to beer when I was happy, sad, bored, celebrating, commiserating...it was the first thing I thought about in the morning and was with me all day.

That's a bloody hard mental habit to break! Now that you're sober (hopefully you are ) get a list going of what you're going to do next time you're feeling lonely and down. Gettin my butt on here always works for me, but I've also got a bunch of things written down that don't even involve other people (in case I can't find any) or the internet (in case it goes down - learned that one the hard and panicky way!)

I KNOW that sometimes when I'm craving, it's got nothing to do with wanting booze, but my brain is gong there automatically - time to retrain the brain!

Hope you're feeling better today.

Still
xxxx

CarolD

Here is a list compiled by other SR members...

150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.

Shared with the hope it sparks something of interst ...

BillyPilgrim

Renee they are right you can do loads sober. With drink you can only drink. It is also true that if you are around those who don't drink the problem doesn't even think of arising
Carol I know that decency prevented you from its inclusion, but despite all opinions the best thing you can do sober that you can't do drunk is to spend quality time with your lover.
Rudies are so much better sober

stillsleeping

And, right, now that I've woken up a bit and had time to think about it...you felt bored and lonely so you went to get gas?? Dude...full sympathy and I'm sorry you're struggling, but I feel very confident that the next time you're bored and lonely you'll be able to find something off Carol's list that is more rewarding and engaging than this. I get more enjoyment out of changing my socks!

Especially if they were really manky, or the new ones have stripes

xx

BillyPilgrim

Mental note ss has sock fetish

stillsleeping

instant

I suggest have another go. Learn about AVRT and how to deal with urges.