Paulos

You all know me- and to those who don't I'm an SR veteran *I just call myself that because I've been here 5 + years* and to those who know me always know I say "You all know me" when I actually post at the forums, but... well recently I've lost a good friend of mine, online mind you, I knew her for over 3 and a half years, ... never gave me contact information other than her AIM and AIM e-mail, she was always hiding something and ... well ... you may be wondering why in the hell I'm posting it here, sure it could be considered a "trigger" to go back to alcohol, but any alcohol tastes disgusting to me now that's not exactly it... it's just ... I can't believe she's gone. She and I discussed many things, but a "lot" of people know me online, as Paulos I am famous and infamous, mostly infamous due to all the things I've said, done, preached that are unrelated to SR.

Anyway... going through acceptance that she will not be online anymore, it's been about like 19 days... and no- she gave me NO notice... no, she never is gone this long, I have thrown many theories around about it ... death, *hers of course* hospitalized *she was not on drugs/alcohol, that I know of of course how would I know since I never MET her due to her ... secretive nature* and blah blah you get the point. If it was someone who lied to me for 3 years and a half, I guess the joke got kind of old after a while and they just signed off, as she signed on EVERY DAY practically for THREE YEARS, devoted to my program *my RPG online* and listening to some of my life problems along with all my gaming I did, some trivial things/etc, it's just ... I hate loss. If she's gone for more than a month I know she dropped me, or is dead or something.

In closing ladies and gentlemen I lost a precious gem basically, and her name was Aoi, despite many times of frustration it was like dealing with an adult with the mind of a child but I accepted that- and ... well, most people cry, most people go nuts, I just take it as another smack in the face from life. Okay that's my little rant of my life currently lol.

Impurrfect

(((Paulos))) - I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend (((Aoi))). Some of my best friends are online (mostly from here) so I know how much that type of friendship can mean.

I'm glad you're not wanting to drink over it, and I'm glad to see you, even if it is with sad news.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Paulos

Thank you Amy, I would be unwise to not prepare for the probability that she is gone- you never know as online friends unlike offline- you can't always track them when they go off the radar. :sigh:

Justfor1

Online friends are good but are not a replacement for real life friendships. You are not alone in this, however, many people (myself included) get attached to people they never see/talk to in person. Hopefully, you are staying off the pills as well. I recall that was an issue with you also.

Paulos

Especially with the relationship we had, meh... you recall correctly, but I'm on a prescription, so f it lol.

Hevyn

Paulos, I'm sorry you're hurting & that your friend mysteriously disappeared. There's a chance you may still hear from her. I'd be frustrated, too - I have many online friends who mean as much to me as my face-to-face friends.

Paulos

Even if I do ... for her to be that disrespectful if she comes back and says "sorry I forgot" that would be just pure insolence I mean seriously. Ah well, glad you understand about the online friends and the offline friends meaning the same thing ... I do... sort of. I really appreciate what I got, that's one thing lol but I just didn't want to lose her, ah well.

scrambled2012

The only entity that will never let you down is God. I honestly believe that.

Sorry you're hurting dude.

Paulos

Uh-huh, thanks. She's still not around... she must be gone for good. Least I was sort of ready for this day.