Im freaking out, what should I do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 9
Im freaking out, what should I do?
First off I've been a heavy drinker for 3 months now, every day I'd start early and finish the night with usually having packed away at least a fifth of vodka over the day, not counting the EXTREME binging on weekends.
Note: There were 2 days about 2 weeks ago where I didnt drink, I got no symptom aside from mild shakes, mild anxiety and sleepyness.
Anyways, I started noticing some mild withdrawal symptoms, sleep disturbances, mild hallucinations, bloating, anxiety etc.
About 3 days ago the heart palpitations started, at first I didnt think much of it and just drank it away, until 2 days ago when I woke up thinking my heart is exploding, i knew at once that I needed to remain calm, I sat down, took some deep breaths and the palpitations got much better. I walked to the sink and poured down my last bottle of vodka. Phew I thought, no more hard stuff, no more caffeine, no more cigarettes.
But beer and wine is still ok. So I had a few beers yesterday and a bottle of wine, over the course of the day, but last night was godawful. What the **** was I thinking- "beer and wine' is still ok?
I've been sitting here all day with a bottle of wine, sipping a bit here and there to keep the palpitations calm.
I dont have medical insurance, and dont know what to do, I am absolutely f*****
Am I gonna expect my heart to go out in a day or two?...
Note: There were 2 days about 2 weeks ago where I didnt drink, I got no symptom aside from mild shakes, mild anxiety and sleepyness.
Anyways, I started noticing some mild withdrawal symptoms, sleep disturbances, mild hallucinations, bloating, anxiety etc.
About 3 days ago the heart palpitations started, at first I didnt think much of it and just drank it away, until 2 days ago when I woke up thinking my heart is exploding, i knew at once that I needed to remain calm, I sat down, took some deep breaths and the palpitations got much better. I walked to the sink and poured down my last bottle of vodka. Phew I thought, no more hard stuff, no more caffeine, no more cigarettes.
But beer and wine is still ok. So I had a few beers yesterday and a bottle of wine, over the course of the day, but last night was godawful. What the **** was I thinking- "beer and wine' is still ok?
I've been sitting here all day with a bottle of wine, sipping a bit here and there to keep the palpitations calm.
I dont have medical insurance, and dont know what to do, I am absolutely f*****
Am I gonna expect my heart to go out in a day or two?...
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
AD...call your local AA number; they probably have a hotline. You sound like you could use face to face help. They'll know your local detox alternatives without insurance. Take care of yourself, and get these questions answered by a medical professional. And, keep posting here. Welcome to the forum, and I look forward to your posts!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi and welcome AlcoholicDream 
I recommend you see a Dr- if only to be safe, and to put your mind at ease.
The ER is always an option - many part of the US now have free or low cost clinics too...that may be another option?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
D
I recommend you see a Dr- if only to be safe, and to put your mind at ease.
The ER is always an option - many part of the US now have free or low cost clinics too...that may be another option?
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 9
Thank you, I already feel a lot calmer. I havnt even finished the entire wine bottle, I think I'll keep it that way.
Im going to select a cheap clinic, and if this gets any worse my ass is going there faster than the flash.
But right now I think I can use some food, tons of water, some vitamins, a walk, a shower, and some tea. If this gets a bit better I'll be having a movie weekend without any partying, no booze allowed. I really hope I caught this before a trip to the ER is imminent...
How long do heart palpation's last for on the regular? Or do they not stop til you die?
Im going to select a cheap clinic, and if this gets any worse my ass is going there faster than the flash.
But right now I think I can use some food, tons of water, some vitamins, a walk, a shower, and some tea. If this gets a bit better I'll be having a movie weekend without any partying, no booze allowed. I really hope I caught this before a trip to the ER is imminent...
How long do heart palpation's last for on the regular? Or do they not stop til you die?
Quitter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Philly Burbs
Posts: 102
I've had heart palpitations before when going through a couple of bad withdrawals in the past, when I thought I could just go cold turkey after overdoing it. I could feel my heart beat irregularly. Only lasted a few seconds to 30 seconds. It was scary.
If you are freaking out, you will probably feel a lot better with a doctor looking out for you and giving you what you need so you won't withdrawal.
If you are freaking out, you will probably feel a lot better with a doctor looking out for you and giving you what you need so you won't withdrawal.
4-23-2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 32
I've been there too. I know its hard to go to the doctor, especially with the high anxiety; but it could save your life. My own experience with withdrawal in past starts with Anxiety and Agitation and it gets worst throughout the first day. Its the worst feeling I can imagine.
On Monday
Tuesday
My eyes were red, heart still racing, Anxiety still high, and I felt like I was going to explode. I was careful not to hold anything that would show my shaking hands. By the afternoon, I still felt very bad but the agitation was less. That night I managed to sleep a few hours, but would wake up nervous and anxious.
Wednesday
A little better, with a few anxiety attacks. I was still getting flushed and felt hot and generally felt terrible. Slept a little longer.
Thursday
Less anxious, but a stressful day. My BP definitely went up. I did not drink, I went for a walk. Going to bed soon -- I hope its a good night's sleep.
Tomorrow
I might feel great, and the cravings will come back - I plan on coming back here and telling everyone that I did not drink.
You can make it. You will have to come back every day and tell us that you are still sober, once you have stopped drinking.
On Monday
- Headache and flushed - Annoying, but I could live with it.
- Racing heartrate - Truly scary, this is where it starts getting life threatening
- Anxiety - One of the worst parts, I was very afraid of some real stuff and stuff I think made up. I felt an impending sense of doom.
- Agitation - I couldn't sit still, but I wanted to sleep so much. I had to keep moving, and I don't even no why. During the day, I walked for hours; there was a cold wind but it almost calmed me down.
- Insomnia - Not only could I not sleep, every time I would fall asleep my whole body would jerk me awake. I did not sleep at all Monday Night.
Tuesday
My eyes were red, heart still racing, Anxiety still high, and I felt like I was going to explode. I was careful not to hold anything that would show my shaking hands. By the afternoon, I still felt very bad but the agitation was less. That night I managed to sleep a few hours, but would wake up nervous and anxious.
Wednesday
A little better, with a few anxiety attacks. I was still getting flushed and felt hot and generally felt terrible. Slept a little longer.
Thursday
Less anxious, but a stressful day. My BP definitely went up. I did not drink, I went for a walk. Going to bed soon -- I hope its a good night's sleep.
Tomorrow
I might feel great, and the cravings will come back - I plan on coming back here and telling everyone that I did not drink.
You can make it. You will have to come back every day and tell us that you are still sober, once you have stopped drinking.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
A.D.: Alcoholics Anonymous worked for me, might just be what you need as well.
I hated those panic attacks. Best to see your doctor to get checked out.
All the best.
Bob R
I hated those panic attacks. Best to see your doctor to get checked out.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
Heart palpitations and A-fib are common amongst us. They are annoying and even scary sometimes.Absolutely you should see a doc. I hope I can suggest something to do in the meantime......a warm bath in epsom salt. Your body needs magnesium, and epsom salt has that in it. I noticed a big difference whenever I took a magnesium soak.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 9
Thanks for the reply guys.
Today is my first sober day, well, kind of. Last night my girlfriend wanted to see me, I was so messed up with palpitations but she means so much to me, that I drank them away temporarily, we met up... We had a good time together but I've noticed since a few beers aren't enough to keep me 100% I said some really weird stuff (nothing bad) and bit my tongue at the returning pain in my chest, I mustve looked awkward at times and my concentration was off. I had to cut our date off sooner than planned, making up an excuse due to school in the morning or something, I mean baring the pain of palpitations for 4 hours, and then the looming shakes and visual hallucinations etc etc, I tried my best just because I want to be around her so bad.
But this is where the problems arise:
#1 In my alcoholic state, emotional attachments can be a dangerous way to get back into heavy drinking- in case they end badly.
#2 Its unfair to her. The relationship so far has been 3 not 2 people... And alcohol needs to go asap.
#3 Obviously this **** is about to kill me, or give me DT's that will end in seizure or death
So I get back home around midnight, clutching my chest and sweating as if I'd just run the marathon, I am in extreme pain, the withdrawal symptoms are now starting, I jump on my bed praying that i can just get to sleep and survive the night. The past few days I've only culminated about 4 hours of sleep put together, I'm totally broken.
I wake up 20 minutes later, short of breath, heart is exploding, dammit! Thats two nights in a row, I think I really might need professional help.
But... I cant drive. I got about 5 hours to kill til my dad wakes up.
Screw it! I down two beers, its insane how 2 beers are barely felt by me... That was about 2:30 am. When I was a social drinker, the only thing I needed was 2-4 beers to feel great, now I might as well drink water. I dont even think my body registered the meager 5%- this is messed up!
So here I am, center of my room, convulsing in utter pain, rocking back and forth on the floor wrapped in a blanket, Im sweating bullets, Im seeing ****, the craziest nonsensical thoughts pop in and out of my head like a japanese bullettrain, and anxiety is clouding over me, "my folks are gonna find me here dead", images of my girlfriend popped in my head and I was close to tears but couldnt wipe them due to my shaky hands, my emotions are spinning out of control.
This is **** I never learned about alcohol in drivers ed in highschool. HOW THE **** DID I NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS?!
So after 2-3 hours of baring that unreal pain, I finally regain strength of my legs and go make myself a tea, which helped a bit. Pretty soon thereafter my dad gets up to get ready for work.
Now keep in mind, I'm a closet drinker and a 100% functional alcoholic, well, when I get the absurd amount I need to get drunk. My dad only had suspicions, but I somehow hid the truth even from him. Keep in mind he was with the red cross for 20 years, he's seen tons of alcoholics back in europe.
So I ask him if he can drive me to a doctor because I'm having intense chest pains and showed him where. He looks at me "....Yeah thats a pretty bad bloating problem, mixing alcohol with a bad diet can do that. Take pills for gas."
I look at the ground, he just doesnt get it does he? I tell him about the sweats, the shakes, etc and he says "Yeah I know you drink too much but it's your body, now take those pills and stay away from alcohol."
Gas? Bloating? IM SEEING **** CRAWL ON THE WALL AND MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!
I guess he knew what I was thinking, and told me to come with him.
"I know what you're suffering is from mild DT's, I told you not to drink so much. The most significant DT symptom that makes all others worse is the anxiety. Panicking and anxiety, most of your pain is not even existent."
So he takes my blood pressure etc etc etc
All readings normal...
He gives me a glass of water, a pill for gas, and an all natural pill that relaxes the nerves.
"I see the way you and your friends drink, and I tried to be patient. But you really need to get your **** together and man up."
So he walks away, I take the pills and my tea and sit down in my room.
The pain is all but gone WHAT THE HELL? The pills shouldnt have been working yet, this was around 7 am.
I crawl in my bed and sleep soundly, for the most part because I was making myself try and sweat it out, and woke up at 2 pm and felt as if jesus himself had healed me.
Dont get me wrong, I still have very mild chest pains and have been farting like, well, I'll leave that metaphor out, but outside from that I really do feel like I only have a standard hangover.
So **** drinking, I'm making excuses to all my buddies that I caught a bad fever and I'll be out for a few days, it's crazy because I'm looking forward to being sober- I dont even remember what it feels like to be feeling good just being yourself.
I really hope this works out for, I can't keep my girl waiting too long now!
Thank you all, I'll be keeping this updated.
Today is my first sober day, well, kind of. Last night my girlfriend wanted to see me, I was so messed up with palpitations but she means so much to me, that I drank them away temporarily, we met up... We had a good time together but I've noticed since a few beers aren't enough to keep me 100% I said some really weird stuff (nothing bad) and bit my tongue at the returning pain in my chest, I mustve looked awkward at times and my concentration was off. I had to cut our date off sooner than planned, making up an excuse due to school in the morning or something, I mean baring the pain of palpitations for 4 hours, and then the looming shakes and visual hallucinations etc etc, I tried my best just because I want to be around her so bad.
But this is where the problems arise:
#1 In my alcoholic state, emotional attachments can be a dangerous way to get back into heavy drinking- in case they end badly.
#2 Its unfair to her. The relationship so far has been 3 not 2 people... And alcohol needs to go asap.
#3 Obviously this **** is about to kill me, or give me DT's that will end in seizure or death
So I get back home around midnight, clutching my chest and sweating as if I'd just run the marathon, I am in extreme pain, the withdrawal symptoms are now starting, I jump on my bed praying that i can just get to sleep and survive the night. The past few days I've only culminated about 4 hours of sleep put together, I'm totally broken.
I wake up 20 minutes later, short of breath, heart is exploding, dammit! Thats two nights in a row, I think I really might need professional help.
But... I cant drive. I got about 5 hours to kill til my dad wakes up.
Screw it! I down two beers, its insane how 2 beers are barely felt by me... That was about 2:30 am. When I was a social drinker, the only thing I needed was 2-4 beers to feel great, now I might as well drink water. I dont even think my body registered the meager 5%- this is messed up!
So here I am, center of my room, convulsing in utter pain, rocking back and forth on the floor wrapped in a blanket, Im sweating bullets, Im seeing ****, the craziest nonsensical thoughts pop in and out of my head like a japanese bullettrain, and anxiety is clouding over me, "my folks are gonna find me here dead", images of my girlfriend popped in my head and I was close to tears but couldnt wipe them due to my shaky hands, my emotions are spinning out of control.
This is **** I never learned about alcohol in drivers ed in highschool. HOW THE **** DID I NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS?!
So after 2-3 hours of baring that unreal pain, I finally regain strength of my legs and go make myself a tea, which helped a bit. Pretty soon thereafter my dad gets up to get ready for work.
Now keep in mind, I'm a closet drinker and a 100% functional alcoholic, well, when I get the absurd amount I need to get drunk. My dad only had suspicions, but I somehow hid the truth even from him. Keep in mind he was with the red cross for 20 years, he's seen tons of alcoholics back in europe.
So I ask him if he can drive me to a doctor because I'm having intense chest pains and showed him where. He looks at me "....Yeah thats a pretty bad bloating problem, mixing alcohol with a bad diet can do that. Take pills for gas."
I look at the ground, he just doesnt get it does he? I tell him about the sweats, the shakes, etc and he says "Yeah I know you drink too much but it's your body, now take those pills and stay away from alcohol."
Gas? Bloating? IM SEEING **** CRAWL ON THE WALL AND MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE!
I guess he knew what I was thinking, and told me to come with him.
"I know what you're suffering is from mild DT's, I told you not to drink so much. The most significant DT symptom that makes all others worse is the anxiety. Panicking and anxiety, most of your pain is not even existent."
So he takes my blood pressure etc etc etc
All readings normal...
He gives me a glass of water, a pill for gas, and an all natural pill that relaxes the nerves.
"I see the way you and your friends drink, and I tried to be patient. But you really need to get your **** together and man up."
So he walks away, I take the pills and my tea and sit down in my room.
The pain is all but gone WHAT THE HELL? The pills shouldnt have been working yet, this was around 7 am.
I crawl in my bed and sleep soundly, for the most part because I was making myself try and sweat it out, and woke up at 2 pm and felt as if jesus himself had healed me.
Dont get me wrong, I still have very mild chest pains and have been farting like, well, I'll leave that metaphor out, but outside from that I really do feel like I only have a standard hangover.
So **** drinking, I'm making excuses to all my buddies that I caught a bad fever and I'll be out for a few days, it's crazy because I'm looking forward to being sober- I dont even remember what it feels like to be feeling good just being yourself.
I really hope this works out for, I can't keep my girl waiting too long now!
Thank you all, I'll be keeping this updated.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Will all due respect to your Dad, he's not a doctor - there's no such thing as a mild case of the DTs for example...
my advice is still the same man - go get yourself checked out, by a medical professional.
D
my advice is still the same man - go get yourself checked out, by a medical professional.
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Please read this....and show your Dad too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Welcome...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Welcome...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 9
I understand, I wasn't trying to say my Dad knows all or that he claims that.
We also agreed that if my condition rebounds to as bad as this morning, he'll front me the money so I can see a doctor. I totally understand your guys' concern, thank you!
However a short update on how I'm doing, I realize sometimes a withdrawal can improve only to hit rock bottom again and as stated if it does, Im in my doctors office tomorrow. My chest pain is all but gone, my blood pressure and heart beat are fine too, shakes are to a minimum, no hallucinations, and I'm farting like crazy and all the lower pain I had is gone too, might be because I substituted tons of beer for my usual vodka so the bloating started, I dunno. I ate a great meal today, kept it all down no problem, SLEPT LIKE A CHAMP. Feel like a million bucks now considering as I've stated, I had major sleep deprivation. I took some vitamins and stuff and drank more water than in Poseidons ocean, and it seems my "waste disposal" organs are starting to do their job again. Also on a psychological note, I had my girlfriend invite me to the bar with her friends, all drinks on them, keep in mind that I could've just been like "oh I'm cool now, nothing to worry about, lets get trashed!", instead... I declined and now I'm sitting here drinking tea and chewing gum bored out of my mind. I guess being by yourself sober is something that needs to be retaught...
The only problem I still have is im still a bit panicky and got anxiety, but keep in mind i quit smoking cigarettes 2 days ago, I was a heavy smoker for 6 years, and a casual smoker 2 years before that.
Im chewing more bubblegum then I drank in a day lol.
Anyways, I'm not trying to take this lightly or seem like this is all over and its a happy ending, this is not even my first step to true recovery. However, you can't blame me for being optimistic considering I looked like a ghost nought but 15 hours ago.
I still got an entire weekend to devote to the initial detox, and I pray I'm done or atleast stable come monday.
Thanks for the support, if it wasnt for this forum I might've not considered detoxing and just tried drinking it all away.
We also agreed that if my condition rebounds to as bad as this morning, he'll front me the money so I can see a doctor. I totally understand your guys' concern, thank you!
However a short update on how I'm doing, I realize sometimes a withdrawal can improve only to hit rock bottom again and as stated if it does, Im in my doctors office tomorrow. My chest pain is all but gone, my blood pressure and heart beat are fine too, shakes are to a minimum, no hallucinations, and I'm farting like crazy and all the lower pain I had is gone too, might be because I substituted tons of beer for my usual vodka so the bloating started, I dunno. I ate a great meal today, kept it all down no problem, SLEPT LIKE A CHAMP. Feel like a million bucks now considering as I've stated, I had major sleep deprivation. I took some vitamins and stuff and drank more water than in Poseidons ocean, and it seems my "waste disposal" organs are starting to do their job again. Also on a psychological note, I had my girlfriend invite me to the bar with her friends, all drinks on them, keep in mind that I could've just been like "oh I'm cool now, nothing to worry about, lets get trashed!", instead... I declined and now I'm sitting here drinking tea and chewing gum bored out of my mind. I guess being by yourself sober is something that needs to be retaught...
The only problem I still have is im still a bit panicky and got anxiety, but keep in mind i quit smoking cigarettes 2 days ago, I was a heavy smoker for 6 years, and a casual smoker 2 years before that.
Im chewing more bubblegum then I drank in a day lol.
Anyways, I'm not trying to take this lightly or seem like this is all over and its a happy ending, this is not even my first step to true recovery. However, you can't blame me for being optimistic considering I looked like a ghost nought but 15 hours ago.
I still got an entire weekend to devote to the initial detox, and I pray I'm done or atleast stable come monday.
Thanks for the support, if it wasnt for this forum I might've not considered detoxing and just tried drinking it all away.
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