Drinking alone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 12
Drinking alone
I have been drinking for 8 years. I don't drink everyday, but instead will have binges every month or every few months, depending on what's going on in my life. I know I have a problem because of the reasons I drink, namely anxiety or depression. I've also gotten myself into terrible situations in the past. It seems like it's only problematic when I drink alone or drink by myself before going out socially, which is a rare occurrence.
Do you think it's possible to make the goal of quitting drinking alone? Could I still have a drink when only in the company of others? I don't feel the need to drink wherever I go out, but there are certain occassions where I do enjoy a drink in the company of others. Or, given my past problems, would it be best to quit all together?
Has anyone ever successfully achieved this? Or have you chosen to quit completely?
Do you think it's possible to make the goal of quitting drinking alone? Could I still have a drink when only in the company of others? I don't feel the need to drink wherever I go out, but there are certain occassions where I do enjoy a drink in the company of others. Or, given my past problems, would it be best to quit all together?
Has anyone ever successfully achieved this? Or have you chosen to quit completely?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,422
Hi Lyrah, nice to meet you 
I tried all sorts of combinations: only drinking at weekends, only out in the pub, only in the house, only on the beach, only with friends, only when I'd finished all my work bleugh.
This time, I started out saying I could still drink on Saturdays. I can't. I'm on day 24 today. It scares the sht out of me, but I know that for me it's all or nothing now.
BUT I also firmly believe that everyone is completely different, and that's just my personal experience. Maybe you can do the friend thing - and good luck to you
x
I tried all sorts of combinations: only drinking at weekends, only out in the pub, only in the house, only on the beach, only with friends, only when I'd finished all my work bleugh.
This time, I started out saying I could still drink on Saturdays. I can't. I'm on day 24 today. It scares the sht out of me, but I know that for me it's all or nothing now.
BUT I also firmly believe that everyone is completely different, and that's just my personal experience. Maybe you can do the friend thing - and good luck to you
x
In my Own Little World
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 368
I too tried every combination under the sun. Drinking once a week, drinking on the weekends only, drinking after 9pm and stopping at midnight, drinking a 6 pack, drinking with friends, etc. For me, each time I quit or scaled back (or attempted) my drinking it seemed to come back with a vengeance and I drank more than previous. I too, in the end decided that I just needed to quit for good. For me personally, it was the only way, for I am an alcoholic and there is no way of skirting around the issue. I am not an alcoholic when I drink alone only. I am just an alcoholic.
However, that being said, as stillsleeping said, everyone is different and we all must find our paths. You might find something that is completely different works for you. And you may come to the same conclusion I did in the end.
Either way, I wish you the best. Do me one thing though: stick around here and read. Post. Ask questions when you have them as you are doing now. The more knowledge we have, the better we can approach a situation and (hopefully) solve it. =)
However, that being said, as stillsleeping said, everyone is different and we all must find our paths. You might find something that is completely different works for you. And you may come to the same conclusion I did in the end.
Either way, I wish you the best. Do me one thing though: stick around here and read. Post. Ask questions when you have them as you are doing now. The more knowledge we have, the better we can approach a situation and (hopefully) solve it. =)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 7
Most of my drinking the last 5 years has been alone. I might end up walking to a bar when I run out, or start in a bar before I stop by the liquor store, but 70% of my consumption was done behind close doors.
I tried MANY times the whole "only drink with friends" or "only drink when out to dinner". 100% of the time, I eventually ended up back at the liquor store for a bottle of Vodka or a couple bottles of wine.
I believe if you have a tendency to go on a bender while drinking alone, despite your best efforts, you will end up back there. Its a comfort zone for you / me.
Even on a recent tropical vacation, towards the end of it, I found myself in my room on the couch drinking by myself using the mini fridge. Basically, since I was getting sloppy drunk I did not want my friends to see me like that, so I just went back to my room and continued my "fun".
Sad but true.
I tried MANY times the whole "only drink with friends" or "only drink when out to dinner". 100% of the time, I eventually ended up back at the liquor store for a bottle of Vodka or a couple bottles of wine.
I believe if you have a tendency to go on a bender while drinking alone, despite your best efforts, you will end up back there. Its a comfort zone for you / me.
Even on a recent tropical vacation, towards the end of it, I found myself in my room on the couch drinking by myself using the mini fridge. Basically, since I was getting sloppy drunk I did not want my friends to see me like that, so I just went back to my room and continued my "fun".
Sad but true.
...not falling down them
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,200
I drink alone. I don't want anyone having an idea of how much I can actually put away. I don't want anyone drinking my beer.
I used to be in sales until 2008 and attended a lot of social functions in bar/restaurants/baseball games etc. Sometimes like if it was a bus trip I would get wasted but if I was driving I would have a couple, then leave, and ALWAYS stop to pick up a case or bottle on the way home. Cuz once I get started, I have to finish up. Moderation is out of the question for me.
I used to be in sales until 2008 and attended a lot of social functions in bar/restaurants/baseball games etc. Sometimes like if it was a bus trip I would get wasted but if I was driving I would have a couple, then leave, and ALWAYS stop to pick up a case or bottle on the way home. Cuz once I get started, I have to finish up. Moderation is out of the question for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,193
Hi Lyrah.
I think that having a goal of not drinking alone- and sticking to that goal- is a healthy and good goal to have. I wish you well in that pursuit.
I can only share what worked/didn't work for me, so, take this with a grain of salt. I was pretty obsessed with alcohol and would tell myself to only have two drinks (sometimes that worked, although it frustrated me, and most of the time it didn't), to only buy one or two drinks while out to save money (but then I would drink beforehand at home, and still exceed my drink limit while out), not to get too drunk/stay out too late (that rarely worked), etc. In the end I realized I was too focused on alcohol and too controlled by it, and it was rather freeing to just stop completely. (Not to say it's been easy, but, overall my life is much better).
I think that if you find it hard to stick to your goal, or if alcohol spills over into other areas -- for instance, if instead of drinking at home, you are always looking for excuses to go out/people who drink to go out with so you can drink without breaking your goal, or if you drink more when you go out than you used to now that you "can't" drink at home, or if you feel frustrated/angry/irritated at not "being able" to drink at home-- then perhaps it is alcohol itself that is the problem and not just drinking at home. Whatever you decide, best wishes to you. It's good to examine this sort of thing because it can be really dangerous.
I think that having a goal of not drinking alone- and sticking to that goal- is a healthy and good goal to have.
I wish you well in that pursuit. I can only share what worked/didn't work for me, so, take this with a grain of salt. I was pretty obsessed with alcohol and would tell myself to only have two drinks (sometimes that worked, although it frustrated me, and most of the time it didn't), to only buy one or two drinks while out to save money (but then I would drink beforehand at home, and still exceed my drink limit while out), not to get too drunk/stay out too late (that rarely worked), etc. In the end I realized I was too focused on alcohol and too controlled by it, and it was rather freeing to just stop completely. (Not to say it's been easy, but, overall my life is much better).
I think that if you find it hard to stick to your goal, or if alcohol spills over into other areas -- for instance, if instead of drinking at home, you are always looking for excuses to go out/people who drink to go out with so you can drink without breaking your goal, or if you drink more when you go out than you used to now that you "can't" drink at home, or if you feel frustrated/angry/irritated at not "being able" to drink at home-- then perhaps it is alcohol itself that is the problem and not just drinking at home. Whatever you decide, best wishes to you. It's good to examine this sort of thing because it can be really dangerous.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 202
Originally Posted by Lyrah 
I have been drinking for 8 years. I don't drink everyday, but instead will have binges every month or every few months, depending on what's going on in my life. I know I have a problem because of the reasons I drink, namely anxiety or depression. I've also gotten myself into terrible situations in the past. It seems like it's only problematic when I drink alone or drink by myself before going out socially, which is a rare occurrence.
Do you think it's possible to make the goal of quitting drinking alone? Could I still have a drink when only in the company of others? I don't feel the need to drink wherever I go out, but there are certain occassions where I do enjoy a drink in the company of others. Or, given my past problems, would it be best to quit all together?
Has anyone ever successfully achieved this? Or have you chosen to quit completely?
Do you think it's possible to make the goal of quitting drinking alone? Could I still have a drink when only in the company of others? I don't feel the need to drink wherever I go out, but there are certain occassions where I do enjoy a drink in the company of others. Or, given my past problems, would it be best to quit all together?
Has anyone ever successfully achieved this? Or have you chosen to quit completely?
I been down that path. Sadly it doesn't work out the way you want it to. Thats the thing about us alcoholics we want to continue our drinking someday but have to smash those thoughts. I once drank by myself too and thought it was fun until it was boring when no one was there to talk to. So I tried drinking with people. If anything because I was having more "fun" I drank heavier. Like you I wasn't a daily drinker I drank in a binge once a week. When I moved out of my parents house my drinking was intense. I got into more fights and arguments. I even was so drunk one night I argued with my landlord about her eating my food without my consent and I even went in her face and this woman was abused by her ex husband so getting angry and lashing out and going in her face was a bad move but she did forgive me but she was kind of scared of me after that she barely spoke to me. That same night our male room mate confronted me and I challenged him and he knocked me out. Everything escalated to where I even called the cops for him assaulting me... if anything I got talked to by the cops for being very drunk and luckily my male room mate and landlord convinced the police that I wouldn't be a problem that I'd just go to bed and pass out because they wanted to take ME to the drunk tank that night and not worry about the room mate who punched me out. Sadly she was a regular with police because her ex would beat her so when I called the police to report the assault they had 5 squad cars show up with 2 police men in each of them!
Anyways things got worse and worse as I assumed I could just drink with people. Even my friend beat the crap out of me and I was sent to the hospital overnight... lucky again... either it was a hospital or the drunk tank... I started resisting with the police after they were called to his home when the fight broke out (He lives in a shared accomendation home) and they escorted me out of his room with my face all bashed and bloodied up... no charges were laid and he was put to bed.
My whole point of saying these scary stories is to show that I too wanted to drink normally and with people and not by myself. But when I did so my drinking heightened and all the things that happened to me were scary and I don't want that anymore. I apologize for the long response lol I sort of went back through time and relived those events as I typed. My point being. I'd try to quit all at once. trying to moderate your drinking will only make your cravings higher. I tried too and the next day I needed MORE. Good luck! I'm off now lol I'm headed to my sponsors house, we're having dinner and then him and I are going to a meeting tonight
Chris
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
I did virtually all of my drinking alone. I could take it or leave it around other people, even drink moderately, but when I was alone, I was outnumbered. The old timers tell us to go ahead and try drinking moderately. If you can do it, you're probably not an alcoholic. I doubt there's a distinct line. All I can say is, in my experience, a few social drinks would probably set me up for another solitary binge. Not something I want to do.
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