Sapling

Welcome Everymile...I'd say you qualify to be here...What are you doing to stay sober and how long do you have?

Muunray

In college I would take a shot of brandy before 8am class. I did it to "relax". At night would be a pint or more of brandy or schnapps while I was doing my creative writing for another class because it helped me be more "creative".
Ikr?

flutter

It horrifies me to think that I crossed that line. One of many "at least I'm not THAT bad!"s that I achieved. Yuck.

Boleo

I did it for years, not because I wanted to, but because I HAD to. I could not even hold a cup of coffee without the "hair of the dog that bit me".

I knew there was a problem but refused to admit it (even to myself) because I believed there was no solution.

mwstylee

The most vivid memories I think I'll have for the rest of my life are scenes of me at 7am - taking a couple shots of vodka ...while standing over the toilet in case I puke. If I ended up puking, I would just stay standing over the toilet for a minute so the gag reflex would stop for a bit, and then take 2 more shots. Repeat if necessary.

It was pretty bad at that point, and I knew full well it was not normal but when you get into the cycle of drink, blackout/passout, wake up with withdrawal symptoms, drink again, etc. It is such a dark place. And it's very hard to get out of it.

Matterhorn

I would do laundry in the morning and rifle down 2beers. I also had a warm 6 pack in my golf bag. If I had an early morning tee time, I had to have a couple beforehand...otherwise I could not put the ball on the tee. I once had to hit my driver without teeing it up...just off the ground. I then told my foursome I am not hitting my driver well and I am trying this. I would then go into the woods and pound 2 beers. I would then calm down and then on the next hole, I was able to put the ball on the tee without shaking like a leaf....awful memories. The people playing golf with me must have been horrified

Everymile

Thanks for the support, I've just started to quit booze. There's along ways to go still. But after lurking here for a while I could see a strong support base and decided to join

Dee74

Welcome Everymile

D

blackstrat6

I love it!! " Before I had anything important to do" totally sums up my drinking!

Sapling

I'm glad you did......It's a smart move.

NewxYork

I think all the "rules" we made in the beginning of our drinking career were just a list of "rules" we would break. Drinking alone, drinking and driving, drinking in the morning and drinking just to eat. I worked as a diagnostic technician and needed to use my hands in plain sight of patients at a intimate level so I needed it in the morning. If the few shots of vodka began wearing off by lunch I would blame my shaky hands on caffeine or some other bs. Then I would drink in the car until I was good to eat and have something way underneath my caloric need. Getting out of work would be such a relief and go home to get hammered, sit in front of the tv and the computer. This went on so long I was normal when drinking and acting weird when the alcohol wore off. As for the weekend I used to get so drunk I would wake up and not be able to hold the booze down like you guys mentioned. There were times I literally took a shot with the taste of vomit in my mouth. I still struggle but not as bad, even though I know its only a matter of time it does go back to those times.
Being optimistic is good but looking back at those horrible moments makes me not want to drink.

Zebra1275

I made sure I had two left so I could drink them before going to the store.

It's sad, but I also carefully planned ahead to save 2 so that I could deal with the shakes in the morning. I wouldn't buy more beer in the morning though, usually 2 beers and a greasy breakfast and I was good to go (until the next night).

I'm so glad to be sober today!