fetal alcohol syndrome (F.A.S)
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fetal alcohol syndrome (F.A.S)
i sat down today with my 11 year old son who has learning disabilities and his mother my ex partner. and told him that he has fas.
he knew that he had adhd and that many tasks were much harder for him to grasp. and he knows that dad used to drink alot! his mother has only just come back into his life as she kept useing. after his birth i got sober and the courts gave me custody i then met my now wife who has helped me rise him. between the 3 of us we decided it was time to tell him. i have to say this is by far the hardest thing i have had to do in recovery by a long shot! my ex cryed as she told him about her drinking and the effects that it had on him (at this point my wife was in tears also).my ex told him how sorry she was and that she never wanted to harm him. at which point he got up cuddled her and said "its ok mum i would,nt be me if i never had my problems" (i,m now crying too). i could not be more proud of my son . i guess i,m writeing this because we hurt many people in many ways when we use and the best way to say sorry is to stay sober we owe it to them and most importantly ourselfs
he knew that he had adhd and that many tasks were much harder for him to grasp. and he knows that dad used to drink alot! his mother has only just come back into his life as she kept useing. after his birth i got sober and the courts gave me custody i then met my now wife who has helped me rise him. between the 3 of us we decided it was time to tell him. i have to say this is by far the hardest thing i have had to do in recovery by a long shot! my ex cryed as she told him about her drinking and the effects that it had on him (at this point my wife was in tears also).my ex told him how sorry she was and that she never wanted to harm him. at which point he got up cuddled her and said "its ok mum i would,nt be me if i never had my problems" (i,m now crying too). i could not be more proud of my son . i guess i,m writeing this because we hurt many people in many ways when we use and the best way to say sorry is to stay sober we owe it to them and most importantly ourselfs
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Thank you surrender. I have worked with children with FAS and fetal alcohol affect and I'm glad your son has a sober parent to rely on. It's important for anybody who is pregnant to be aware of the potential problems you may be giving to your children by drinking.
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Originally Posted by katrinka 
Thank you surrender. I have worked with children with FAS and fetal alcohol affect and I'm glad your son has a sober parent to rely on. It's important for anybody who is pregnant to be aware of the potential problems you may be giving to your children by drinking.
here in the uk there is not a great deal of awareness of F.A.S even many g.p (general practitioners) know little about it. alcohol can be devastating to a unborn child my son is a very lucky boy(seams strange to say that) there should be far more warnings about the risks!!!!
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surrenderordie,
Thank you for this post. 23 years ago I drank during my entire second pregancy - the guilt, shame and self-hatred almost killed me. Luckily, my baby was not affected and I got sober for a long period of time, eventually relapsing (but that is a different story).
It took a lot of guts between the three of you to talk to your son about this. I have a lot of respect for all of you. Your son may have his problems, but he has stand-up parents, which puts him at a great advantage to many.
Thanks again for this post. I love your honesty.
Thank you for this post. 23 years ago I drank during my entire second pregancy - the guilt, shame and self-hatred almost killed me. Luckily, my baby was not affected and I got sober for a long period of time, eventually relapsing (but that is a different story).
It took a lot of guts between the three of you to talk to your son about this. I have a lot of respect for all of you. Your son may have his problems, but he has stand-up parents, which puts him at a great advantage to many.
Thanks again for this post. I love your honesty.
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Originally Posted by surrenderordie
my ex told him how sorry she was and that she never wanted to harm him. at which point he got up cuddled her and said "its ok mum i would,nt be me if i never had my problems"
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[QUOTE=Sapling;3307144]The places alcohol can take you...Never ceases to amaze me...My prayers are with all of you..
yes indeed sapling! for me hell on earth! however we don,t have to stay there no matter how hopeless it may seam. the pain i feel for my part in the damage done to my son will always be with me. in recovery it drives me to be a better dad and i count my blessings.
yes indeed sapling! for me hell on earth! however we don,t have to stay there no matter how hopeless it may seam. the pain i feel for my part in the damage done to my son will always be with me. in recovery it drives me to be a better dad and i count my blessings.
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