kendramae89

I am 22 years old, addicted to alcohol. I have drank for approx. 5 years. the past 4 months I have drank VERY heavily. Everyday almost, and to the point of passing out almost everytime. I keep getting withdrawals. (sweaty palms, shaky hands, anxiety, etc) I lost my job yesterday because of my drinking I had went out with friends the night before, and didn't wake up to my alarm. My withdrawals are pretty extreme. I feel like I'm NUTS!! I don't think there's anyone else that is going through what I am going through.

Back when I was 15 years old, I played with the ouiji board. The board said that it didnt like me SO I asked to leave the board, it said no. I ran out of the room and never touched it again. (You aren't supposed to leave it without asking) OK, My last house I had was literally haunted. My daughter came screaming out of her bedroom with something covered on her from head to toe! She said she didn't know where it came from..then eventually said it came from the ceiling..Went in her room, NOTHING liquid in there. It was in her hair and allllll over her. She said it was the monster. She also told me that the monster was behind me in that house. SCARY. OKAY welll I moved. I now live in an apt, broke up with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years(Thats why I have been drinking so much) And I am just PARANOID that I am a demon, or being followed by the ouiji board?!?!?!?!!?! AM I FREAKING CRAZY?! I get crazy thoughts in my head sometimes... I'm so scared! I have been taking my klonopins WAY more than I am prescribed because that it the only thing that makes me NORMAL and not withdraw... Has anyone had anything similar to this?!

Anyways. I think I have finally (maybe) hit rock bottom. I lost my job, that I LOVED. I have had THE WORST LUCK. $1000 dollars stolen from me the past 4 months, wallet stolen twice, car towed, keys locked in my car...list goes on. Is it the freaking DEVIL or am I a freaking DEMON?! I know I sound like a freaking WHACKO.....Or am I just withdrawing and the alcohol is driving me freaking NUTS!? Someone PLEASE talk to me I can't do this much longer. I swear I am going to have to enter a mental institution. I went to the ER last wknd and she said that my liver enzymes were elevated 55 and the normal is 1-30. she also said that I have alcoholic hepatitis(liver inflammation) So yea, I have drank WAY too much. I drank half a fifth of vodka last night to myself, I weigh 100 lbs, 5"2. ..

Is it ever going to get better?! I'm realizing alcohol is ruining my LIFE!

WhySoSerious

Well at least you are in a place where people can support you, i know its not actual support in person but reading what people say on here and really listening helps a lot. Ill keep you in my prayers and if you drink as much as it sounds like i would probably see a doctor about quitting drinking... ive heard of people who drink a lot dying because their bodies cant handle themselves without alcohol. GOD bless

Dee74

Hi again KendraMae

You sound a lot like me before I quit drinking.

Personally I don't think it's a demon - leaving the haunted house out of it, I think it's perfectly possible to explain all your troubles, worries, fears, and feelings of insanity as a by product of chronic drinking.

I think if you focus on the drinking problem you'll be amazed at how much of the other stuff is sorted out too.

What are you going to do to stop Kendra - have you got a plan?

D

kendramae89

I plan on stopping drinking during the weekdays. But it is so hard for me because I feel like I can't be myself unless I am drinking. I feel like I am boring if I'm sober and not fun.

I literally feel like I am going crazy. My dad was an alcoholic. He drank for years and quit cold turkey and has been sober for 15 years. I read that 1 out of 30 people die from alcohol withdrawal and now I am starting to FREAK OUT. I am about to drink so I don't die But if I keep drinking I'm going to drink myself to death! :'(

Dee74

If drinking is making you crazy, and it's giving you things like alcoholic hepatitis, I'm sorry - you're past picking and choosing the times you can drink Kendra.

There's only one responsible choice open to you - quit and quit completely.

If you don't I'm afraid things are only going to get worse - take it from someone who's been there.

I think it would be a really good idea for you to see a Dr and start things rolling that way.

D

kendramae89

Called my doctor...had to page him because I was freaking out. I go in on Monday to see him for options to stop drinking.

Sapling

Good move...

Dee74

great decision Kendra - be honest and open about everything that's been going on -keep us updated

D

Orbea

Please tell him about the haunted stuff...

JohnnyDetox

Try to stay calm Kendra...I'll be thinking of you...and try to be as honest with your Dr. as possible.

TimeInABottle

ok....let me be honest here, I don't believe in the haunted house/demon kinda stuff, but thats just me.

I think just about everyone on this forum will agree, alcohol/alcohol WD will, with most of us, cause anxiety/panic attacks. Expecially durning withdrawl, it can be terrifying.

I think you did the best thing by calling your doctor. You may need some anti anxiety meds (something like Librium) to help you out and get you get thru the first days of withdrawl.

Be honest with your Dr (though I am kind of surprised they did not have you go in for an emergency appointment or send you to the ER.). If the anxiety gets worse or the withdrawl gets worse, get your butt to the E.R.


T.I.A.B

sugarbear1

Please go the the ER if you fell any worse. Be honest with everything.

You can stay stopped, too!

kendramae89

ended up drinking... I think I am dying. My head feels weird, sweaty palms.. I was at the bar last night and dont remember anything. Woke up on my couch somehow... Realized my nails are white..liver disease?! the ER doc last wknd said my enzymes were high but said i was malnutrished or whatever and dehydrated.

Does anyone know anything about liver enzymes??!!? Mine was 55...

JohnnyDetox

You mentioned your daughter. I sure hope she's safe! Perhaps a detox centre would be a good idea today.

sugarbear1

Would you get on the computer if your house were on fire?

Please go to the ER and detox, then get to an AA meeting and work the steps. Your life depends on treating this now.

JohnnyDetox

How's it going today Kendramae? Hang in there.

Dee74

Please see a Dr KM - you need some professional care and advice.

D

DayTrader

Anyone who drinks alcoholically is taking a chance with their life. Given the physical symptoms you've described....it sounds like you ARE getting close to dying from drinking. And if it doesn't seem like it to you......bear in mind, not too many ppl PLAN to drink themselves to death.

It may help you to watch Rain in My Heart: Rain In My Heart (1 of 10) - YouTube

Now that all that's been said.....recovery IS an option if you'd like it. You can get free from booze, free from all the fear, free from all that crap that's destroying you from the inside. AA's worked for me and millions of others for almost 100 years. There's a reason it's still around, yanno?

kendramae89

I have been one day without drinking. My doctor prescribed klonopins to help with my withdrawals. I don't plan on quitting drinking completely, just cutting back EXTREMELY. ( Ive drank everyday for about 4 months) Maybe just a few drinks or so on the weekends. I do have some sweaty palms but I generally feel OKAY! Yesterday, I felt so happy, my friends even noticed. I said A prayer to god and hopefully God will get me through this. I have been so lazy lately, but today, I have gotten stuff done! I think that I can get through this, with some meds and support of my friends and through this forum

JohnnyDetox

I have to say I was worried for you. Glad your feeling better. In the past I have often tried cutting back, only weekends, only at bars, only at home, limiting amount etc... It didn't work for me, I'm an all or nothing kind of guy. All the best and be well.