whatevername

Is it just me but did anyone have a rough time getting a sponsor.
I mean like ...did you ask a few people and they declined or avoided it?
Do most get a sponsor after going to a certain meeting for awhile sober make it easier for sponsors to take you on?
If you are a sponsor, what made you make a decision for taking someone as a sponsee?
If you are a sponsor would you take on a sponsee if they were showing up at meetings but constantly slipping?

stepping

Great thread! I would like to hear the experienced ones opinions as well!

sunrise1

I had a hard time finding a sponsor. I was told to look for someone who "had what I wanted"... and although I was going to quite a few meetings there were just no women I felt any kind of connection with. I tried calling a few women who gave me their numbers, but nothing gelled.

One day a woman walked in just after the meeting started. I don't remember what she shared that day but in the first 10 words I knew she had what I wanted and she HAD to be my sponsor. She was really together and what she shared said she had the solution and it was in the BB. I would have tackled her before I let her leave the building.

Long story short- you WILL find a sponsor... I don't recommend going as long as I did; there are plenty of peeps willing to be temporary sponsors and if you are in AA you really do need to get to work. It IS a program of action after all.

best,
s

Justfor1

I wouldn't rush the process. It is pretty important to find someone who you are going to click with. You can also get a temporary sponser if you are not sure about the person.

omegasupreme

I would sponsor them especially if they are slipping...it's so cool watching the miracles that happen with the mad dogs that can't stay sober any other way. Why? Because I was a mad dog that couldn't stay sober any other way.

What do I look for in a sponsor? Someone that has something I want...a life of abundance, power, peace, serenity, etc...so then I do what they do to get what they have. I investigate too, hey buddy, does your sponsor have a sponsor? and does his sponsor have a sponsor? Be skeptical of folks that sponsor themselves or never quite know who sponsors who and such.

You want what I have, you do what I do.

TheJungianThing

I didn't have a rought time, my first sponsor appointed himself. Other than a Big Book and 4 years of sobriety and some experience working the steps, I didn't know what he had. I knew I didn't want what I had anymore so I agreed. He said he was a temp sponsor up to Steps 4 and 5 and that's what he was. My second and current sponsor, took me a month to ask but that was my doing.

I only ever asked this one, so no.

This second one, yes, I had been going to meetings and he was the real deal and I found him to be inspirational.

I say yes to guys who ask because it's my job I suppose. Mostly I say sure, we'll see, give me a call. Then I tell my sponsor - sometimes he says I should, sometimes he says I shouldn't. Sometimes I listen. :rotfxko

Sure, constant slippers don't bother me at all for the most part. I"m working with one now who has been slipping for about a year. Although he hasn't been going to meetings and is just now getting started on his fourth step. Classic case, guy gets sober very young rides high for six years - doing meetings and little else, dating chicks, etc.. gets married and has no reason to go to meetings all of a sudden. It took a few years but eventually the insanity returned, he drank again and soon was caught up in it. Just blew about 45 days a week or so ago. Keeps me current on my first step experience, I'll say that.

BadCompany

Yes, I tend to attract the hard cases.

It is a bit difficulty for those younger in the program to sponsor someone that is slipping often. They get their ego invested in their sponsees sobriety so they take it hard when they slip. Look for someone that is a bit long in the tooth.

winslynn

I take 3 or 4 new guys through the steps each year.I will only sponsor you if you attend my home group meetings so I can see you often.I will expect you to do the step work I give you and I will tell you how quickly I expect it done.When a guy asks me for help,I must assume he's going to die if he drinks again and I act like it.Some fall by the wayside and it doesn't desolate me a bit.My love for them is a detached love,I want them to do well but if they don't go along with it I'm not upset.

whiskeyman

i wish you didnt have to find your sponsor.
i thought someone would find you.
i eventually did find my sponsor, they helped me with my fourth and fifth but then i had a relapse. and my sponsor fired me.
i was confused and abit devastated.
i thought she was there to help me. but it seems like she gave up on me.
it seemed very short and like she didnt REMEMBER WHEN.

I knew once i have enough sobriety, and there is a new comer i will approach him rather than the other way around