insobriety

I am new to Sober Recovery but I have the same sad story and questions.

I am a drunk and realize its time to stop for my sanity, health and for economical reasons. I am not in denial, I realize it has ruined my future but yet I continue with this crutch. I have been drinking to excess for over 20 years. Over the last 15 years I have had only 1 day where I did not drink to drunkeness. Although "drunkeness" for me just means the ability to fall asleep rather than your standard symptoms.

I am considering trying a detox or attempt to taper off alcohol. I have never attempted to curtail my drinking. My ingestion is fairly large, over a gallon of liquor and a few cases of beer a week. Im scared by what I am reading in these forums about getting sick.

Unfortunetly I do not have the finacial means to go into treatment/detox or see a doctor. I have not seen a doctor in my adult life and have no desire to start now.

So what I am asking, am I fooling myself thinking I can do this myself without getting sick or without medical attention?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

Peter G

Detox on your own and there's a 50/50 chance your desires to remain doctor-less won't matter. Either a doctor or a coroner will see you if you have a heart attack, stroke, or any of the millions of other things that can happen which regularly kill so many alcoholics who stubbornly come down off a lifetime habit alone.

You surely have an ER somewhere near by, yes? Go. Full stop. Don't play with fire. Tell them what you are doing. At the very least they can monitor your heart rate and blood pressure and provide you with medications and supplements that a body desperately needs when alcohol is abruptly taken away.

Believe me, you're playing Russian Roulette going it alone. Don't get me wrong, I've done it a few times. Always used to try and just "man up", and tough it out. Once that ended with disastrous results which included seizures and stroke level blood pressure. Eventually I landed in ICU, had my heart actually stop beating, and was told later I had come as close to death as possible without actually dying.

If you absolutely won't go? Then get a friend to stay with you and keep a close eye on your various reactions. You will get sick, without a doubt. Depending on the levels of booze you've been drinking, you'll feel as bad as bad gets. Make sure your friend can stay awake when you sleep. Get loads of water or Gatorade and some b complex vitamins (for when your stomach can stand them). Make sure your friend has 911 on speed dial, and if it get's too real for you, which it might, tell your friend to NOT hesitate in calling an ambulance.

Seriously though mate, IMO and from my own experience, don't do this on your own.

Impurrfect

(((insobriety))) - Welcome to SR!

I totally agree with ((Peter)) - detoxing without medical advice is a huge risk. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. A long, long time ago, when I was in nursing school (a career I lost to my own addiction), the only fatality at a substance abuse facility happened on our first day there - a man who died of alcohol withdrawal and waited too long to get help.

I don't have insurance or money, either, but I wouldn't hesitate to go to an ER if I really needed it.

Most alcoholics do not do the tapering thing very well. As symptoms start to occur (and they will), it's just too hard for most to not drink enough to make them go away.

SR is a great place for experience, strength and hope, but I really do hope you talk with a dr. or go to the ER.

I don't mean to preach, but I do care.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Mark75

You are drinking enough to die in detox.

Go to the ER if you begin to get symptoms. Maybe get somebody to look in on you or stay with you.

Dee74

I detoxed on my own lots of times with no apparent ill effect - the last time however I suffered a series of mini-strokes. I'll have to carry that legacy around for the rest of my life.

I'm not trying to scare you, but this is serious business.

There are many free or low cost clinics around - there may be one in your area...
Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics

there's also this website that may point you to the direction of local medical help
2-1-1 Call Center Search

It's simply not worth the risk to go it alone in my opinion - believe me you really miss full health when it's gone.

D

micealc

My advice to you is the Same as Peters.
My Story is Different than yours......and we have all different
Tolerences as far as Booze and Pills are concerned.
I drank like yourself for over 20 years
I also took Tranqualisers.....Not at the Same time.
When I would go drinking i would stop the Pills,
and visa versa.
I got off the Booze by Medicating myself,which I would not Recommend.
I was also Addicted to the Tranqualisers for over 20 years.
I was a right Mess..............
Getting of the Tranqualisers was a Different Story.....
I done this under the Supervision of a great Doctor.
It took me 1 year at least ,cutting down gradually.
But i did it without going into detox or Hospital.
If you really want to Wean of the booze ,go to a doctor at least.
Please dont attempt to detox on your own.
You have Probibly have treated all sicknessess up
to now with Alcohol,thats why you never needed a doctor

langkah

No one can forcast if you'll have serious problems or not.

Since your amounts and years of drinking are high it's more than a little possible, and things can go sideways in a hurry. Alcoholics occasionally fall from bed while in seizure and break their necks, and DTs can be horrifying and going through that leaves some with lifelong emotional damage.

There are still county detox facilities here and there in many states, perhaps there is one nearby you. If nothing else, hit some AA meetings and see if you can connect with some members who will rotate watch on you and give you what care they can give. I've been a part of that on many occasions, and though the drunks made it through ok they all sometime later tried to keep themselves sober and drank again and died from it. Bad deaths.

The sobering up is tough, and the staying sober takes a more steady effort and attention. Hope it all goes well for you.

insobriety

I have no insurance. Generally, how much can I expect the minimal amount of help to cost? I have no reference to what emergency room visits, doctor examinations etc cost.

Peter G

The ER cost nothing at all in the US and Canada, at least that's the way it worked when I was back home living on my soil. Even if it's changed since, I am sure that a payment plan and a subsidy will be worked out for you with absolutely no fuss. You WILL be treated and it won't break your bank. Hell, even where I'm living now in Singapore (where expats pay top dollar for every dime of health care they receive), ER visits are highly subsidized and delayed payment options presented.

Honestly 'insobriety', if and when you go, I'll lay bets that the Doctor will look at your circumstances and tell you it was the smartest thing you could have done. The time described, when I ended up in the ER, my wife called the ambulance and forced me to go after I had my first of many seizures. Two days later, as I came slowly back to consciousness, the Doctor told me her action did nothing short of saving my life. Told me under no exaggeration that I would have certainly died without her intervening.

That's how serious this thing of ours is amigo.

Good luck and please mate, just go. Call a friend to take you, or a cab. Whatever is necessary.

Impurrfect

(((insobriety))) - the majority of ERs cannot refuse you for help. Yes, they may bill you. However, you can tell them you don't have the money and they still have to take care of you. I do have a primary doctor, his visits are $128, but I'm a regular patient and I think it depends on where and who you go to.

Thing is, this is your life. If you get a bill from an ER, you can usually pay $5/month and, from what I know, they can't do anything to you.

FWIW, I'm 5 years in recovery and STILL have past due bills, collection agencies calling me. I've paid what I can, explained my circumstances, and that's the best I can do. My LIFE and my RECOVERY are important. Bills I pay as I can. I've actually been blessed to have a few collection agencies save me money, just because I was honest with them and paid what I could.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Dee74

did you check out the links I gave you?
no leads there, insobriety??

I know the Salvation Army in my country offers detox services - maybe they do the same in the US?

D

Terminally Unique

You can always also go to a doctor and request an out-patient detox script, which will probably cost you less than a week's supply of booze. It is a fairly standardized protocol, takes about five days, and is the preferred method in many countries. Granted, if the doctor sees that you are really out of it and not a suitable candidate for home detox, they may not be willing to write you an out-patient script, but it is worth checking out. At the very least have someone with you while you detox. Langkah's old school AA "drunk watch" suggestion has certainly been done many times, for good reason.

insobriety

Thank you for all of your thoughtful posts.

laurie6781

Please go to the doctor BEFORE you attempt this.

No one told me what could happen. I was living the streets of Hollywood, and my 'wino friends' didn't sure didn't say a word about detoxing, even though I found out MUCH LATER that some of them had been through detoxes and some several each.

I was probably drinking more than you, based on the number of Thunderbird Empties in my back seat.

I stopped on Sunday afternnoon at 4:30pm Pacific dayight savings time. I was sitting on the concrete bumper next to my car at the back of the Hollywood Bowl Parking Lot. As I took some big gulps in, it felt like it was coming out of every pore of my body as fast as I took it in. So, I said it is time. Now when I said that I knew I was dying, I knew that if I continued I would die and I knew that if I stop I would die detoxing. I was sitting there, and I did something ................................ I screamed "pease help me." I screwed the cap on the just and threw the jug into the back seat of my car. It was amost empty, maybe a swallow or two.

I made it through the darkness, through the hallucinations that started, through what felt like spiders and bugs crawling on me. By daylight I was getting real crazy. Now I heard there was a hospital in Van Nuys, called Olive View, I knew it was on Van Nuys Blvd, but that was all I knew. Again, in the car I screamed "Pease help me." Again something was steering that car and I am pretty damn sure it wasn't me.

When I reached the hospital, I walked into the Emergency and up to the 'reception desk.' Now mind you this was an 'open' desk in the lobby. No glass, no surrounding panels, lol (before the 'fear' set in). I told the lady sitting there that I was an alcoholic, I had stopped drinking about 4:30pm yesterday and SOMETHING WAS TERRIBLY WRONG and I didn't know what. She very calmly told me to have a seat and pointed to a chair about 4 feet from her desk. What I didn't know is that she was hitting the EMERGENCY BUTTON under her desk in panic (she told me this much later.) I never made it to the chair, I went into grand mall seizures on the floor about 2 feet from her desk. The got me on a gurney to take me to the back and my heart stopped (for the first time that day) . They got my heart started and before long another seizure and heart stops again.

This went on ALL DAY. There was no Atavan, Neurontin or the other drugs they use today, just some seizure drugs that were used 30 years ago. This routine continued ALL day, yes the 'episodes' were getting further apart so they kept going.

At 4:28pm on Monday June 8th, the ER Doc started to write my TOD on my ER Chart, as I had been down for 28 minutes and he 'called' 'it', 'it' being my Time of Death. On the gurney, next to where he was writing, my heart started on it's own. I was given a SECOND CHANCE. Not many are given that.

I tell you this, because in my book, and yes I have seen some die who tried it on their own, DETOXING ON ONE'S OWN IS A DEADLY DECISION AND A DEADLY ACTION FOR ONE TO TAKE. You do not know if this will be the one, why take that chance? Get ER help.
Oh and the rest of the story, I went and talked to the gal that said she was 'hitting the emergency button in panic' she said I was the 'awfulest' green/with tinges of yellow she had ever seen. She got me the copy of my medical records from that day, and the 4 other days I was in the hospital on the MEDICAL FLOOR, not the 'nut ward'.

It was quite interesting LATER when I recovered from the SHOCK of seeing that I had died, and realizing what I remembered was true. I will share that some other time as some folks still think I am 'nuts'. roflmao

My point in the above is to STRESS, D O N O T D E T O X A L O N E ! ! ! ! ! !

IT IS A DEADY ENTERPRISE.

IF, and that is a BIG IF you choose to do this at home, DO NOT DO IT ALONE. Then print out this page:


Alcohol Detox Side Effects | Side Effects of Alcohol Detox | Alcohol Detox Centers

Have someone with you that can

CALL 911

When you start exhibiting any of the symptoms.

You will be dehydrated and nauseous and because of the nausea you will not be able to keep liquids down. As you dehydrate you loose potassium and magnesium and many more, but those two, or actually the potassium will make you seizure and seizure and seizure. Heck it happen to me last year, because I am diabetic now and somehow managed to get dehydrated and not know I was dehydrated. I had a grand mal seizure because my potassium was barely nonexistent in my body.

So ....................................... please, please, get MEDICAL DETOX.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

laurie6781

The largest hospital/only hospital in each county in the U.S. MUST by federal law 'treat' all who walk in.

They have what are called 'indegent funds' that are given to the hospitals by federal and state governments.

They HAVE TO TREAT YOU. Please stop worrying about 'money' and get to the ER.

Love and hugs,

2granddaughters

Look in the phone book and find the AA number. Go to the meetings and ask members there how they got sober.
Good luck and keep posting.

greeneyedhope

I tried taper off also but it never worked for me. My first time I quit cold turkey and ended up in the hospital and they did help me with the bills and I paid whatever was left I did in payments. Unfortunately I started back just as hard and this is when I tried to taper off after deciding I couldn't do it I found a county ran facility that does medical detox and aftercare they work on a slidng scale based on income. I have a history of seizures and it would not be safe for me to try it alone. I'm glad I got both the medical and emotional help. Don't try it alone. Good luck with everything

ForeverDecember

I think there's a lot of wisdom in this thread!

Even though you know you need to quit, and you know that alcohol has a hold of you, I don't think people really realise how much of a grip alcohol has on you until after it's all out of the system. Case and point: all the people who say "I'm a functioning alcoholic". There's a big difference from how I behaved when I considered myself as a "functioning alcoholic" to how I behave now I am sober. It's beyond comprehension in the active phase of alcoholism to understand how much more functional you really can be. I mention this because there are a lot of changes your body has to go through during the detox phase, and when you underestimate the amount of damage alcohol has done, or the level of submersion, (eg still "functional" but at a ********/limited level of function) then you are risking an awful lot. It's like drinking 10 beers and still feeling "only tipsy" - regardless of how you are feeling that's a lot of poison in your body! So while a person might feel like they can handle the detox alone because either 1) they have in the past, or 2) they don't feel like they drink so much that it'll do real damage, or 3) they don't get hammered every night so it's not too bad (remember your tolerance doesn't say anything to how badly your body is being abused by this stuff and "not getting drunk" does not mean "not drinking a lot"), the truth is it's just a real big gamble. Russian Roulette in fact.

I say all this because I was too silly to get help on two occassions when I self-detoxed. I used the excuses above... luckily I got out of it OK. But it's like drink driving - 99 times out of 100 you might get home safely, but it's that 100th time that (literally) is the killer).

Innerchild

I say go to ER many hospitals have programs for those of us with no insurance. When I went for depression I was place on charity care. You will be given meds to help with the withdrawals and monitored. Its better to do it in a safe environment where you are getting the help you need instead of trying to do it alone. Good luck.

Giggletron

I'm going to tell you something that I wish someone had told me when I decided to self-detox back in August--you will read about other people, people who drink more than you do and people who have been drinking for far longer, saying that they got through self-detox without any major complications. It is *not* a good indicator of whether you will be able to do it.

I learned this the hard way. I had "only" been a daily drinker for 8 months or so, and my consumption only increased over 5-6 units a day in the last 2 months. I called my doctor for help to stop. I called Gateway. No one told me that there was a medical risk. I've never been one to go to the doctor unless I'm bleeding or broken, so I thought I was okay.

Within 24 hours of throwing all of my alcohol down the drain, I was confused and disoriented. I could not speak clearly. Like Laurie, I could feel something was going so incredibly wrong. I felt like I knew I was going to die. I called 911 and thankfully my ambulance made it to the ER before I had my grand mal seizures. I never expected it. Obviously my doctors didn't expect it either. If you don't go to the ER now, please make sure someone is checking on you throughout the next several days. Tell them to call 911 if you're not responsive or are exhibiting the symptoms of DTs.

Hang in there.