Mark75

Well, your work may suffer if you don't. I have met people that I know from work at AA... they are there for the same reason... Though, admittedly I am not law enforcement so I don't have experience. But, remember that people in AA are trying to clean up their past wreckage, not create more. You might be surprised... you could start maybe outside your jurisdiction??

Keep posting!

bozboz

I see a counslor. My office will not pay for that, so it is out of pocket, but I do believe she has helped me immensly. That could be an option for you. Not to mention, the SR site does have meetings here online.

When I first started, I tuned into SR a lot. It helps having people who know what you are going through and who have similar feelings.

Manko

Bedtime. Cheers guys.

irab

see my prior posts on this topic - its an old story - with new twists every time.
look me up

north

At some point, if the physical symptoms you describe are related to your heavy drinking, there is a good probability they may show up in your medical tests. For example, elevated liver enzymes in most standard blood tests.

Also, if you are under abnormal amounts of stress, and guessing that it's probably a factor important to control in your job, I am guessing your department might even screen for cortisol levels as a possible proxy for abnormally high levels of stress.

Rather than wait until even these seemingly-small matters are taken out of your control, it is much much better to be pro-active and consult with a good physician before you get red-flagged on your medical assessments - or possibly your other assessments including fitness and shooting etc. At the same time, check the policies and regulations regarding patient/employee confidentiality as they can vary widely - and know which "zone" you're in rather than assuming either situation without checking first.

AskMeLater

2005: Liver Failure
2006: Right Hip Replacement
2007: Throat Cancer
2009: Left Hip Replacement.

All this due caused by alcohol. What are you waiting for? What other sign do you need to see that it's time to stop. I am 47 now, all this started when I was 40.

Your body is telling you something, I suggest you listen.

Tippingpoint

You may not think that the drink is affecting your performance...but it is.

I quit drinking 6 months ago. I too was very high functioning...I ran, played squash etc. etc.

Since I quit drinking, I still run...only faster and further. I completed my first marathon in October in 3 hours and 27 minutes.

I still play squash. Except now I'm playing the best squash of my life. I beat all the guys that used to beat me and some that I wouldn't have dreamed of giving a run 6 months ago. My skills aren't any better than they were...patience and fitness has been the difference. I wear these guys down till they can't compete any more.

Not drinking has been the difference.

Good luck with your decision.

There are lots of options besides AA to quit drinking. I appreciate the AVRT teachings which allow you to take control of your addiction without meetings and all of that...private recovery so to speak.

sugarbear1

Alcoholism knows NO boundaries. Alcohol deludes us. We become delusional. You aren't the first alcoholic cop. It takes one hour to fully process one ounce of alcohol through the blood. If you drink a six of beer, it would take 72 hours or 3 days. Technically, you're still under the influence... You speak of anger (fear) and you carry a gun. Not a pleasant thought... We have meetings here (DC) where security clearance is required to enter...

Please find help and talk honestly with your doctor. You aren't alone.

langkah

Hi Manko, it sucks to be worried about health effects from drinking. Mine were in the nature of stomach problems and skin flaking, with occasional blood stys in my red eyes and a perpetual red blush to my face. Other than that I was a healthy 28yr old who performed exceedingly well in the job area.

Sounds like you enjoy what you do and it's important to you. Being too sick from drink to do that would remove something from your life, and I think you can imagine what you would do without needing to be occasionally sober.

If you lose your position because you can't stop drinking you can easily get a job as a security guard at a shopping mall with your training and drink around that schedule until you get further downhill physically, so it's not the end of the world.

Or you could accept you've a problem and begin the road back, regain your health and continue keeping the public safe.

You get to choose which path to take, but you do need to choose now.

sugarbear1

Alcoholism is progressive. It only gets worse.

It's time to stop this cycle.

Best wishes on staying stopped!

BlueMoon

My dad drank every day of my life. I only saw him *drunk* once. I never saw him without a beer - unless he was “sleeping”. He tried a lot of times to stop drinking. He failed. Mom explained that he was an alcoholic but he couldn’t go to AA because he was the VP of a major corporation and couldn’t be seen with “those types of people”. He died of alcohol-related diseases at 60yo. He looked 80.

Blue
sober in AA since 1992