F355

I wish I could say that I made my last sobriety date stick, but even still, I have been working hard at understanding what drives me to drink and I am still every bit as determined to quit.

One thing I have learned from reading through these forums is that all alcoholics have certain triggers that might cause them to drink. Sometimes its fear, sometimes its anger, anxiety, or any other number of things. For me, I find that the hardest trigger to overcome is plain and simple, boredom.

I have no trouble sticking to a sobriety plan during the day, when I am able to keep myself busy doing various things. In the past 7 months or so I have also added rigorous exercise to my daily routine, to great benefit. But in the evenings, I always come face to face with my biggest enemy with regards to drinking: the fact that I have a restless mind that wants to be stimulated at all hours of the day.

And nothing fills that void quite like alcohol. Not only does it make me feel entertained and on top of the world, but it also eventually helps me to fall asleep, which also has never been easy for me.

If it weren't for this phenomenon, I'll bet I could have kicked my drinking habit along time ago. It seems like a simple enough problem, but the solution eludes me. It can be as late as 10, 11, 12, 1 or until the gas station that sells liquor closes, and I will be faced with this problem which seems almost impossible to eradicate.

I'm sure that many others out there have struggled with this very problem, so I open it up to discussion. Has boredom been a major trigger for you with regards to alcoholism or other addictions? If so, what strategies did you develop to cope with it?

Happy Holidays everyone.

bozboz

Yes. It has been a problem for me as well. I'll do anything to keep myself from drinking. I'll read, watch a movie, call my sister and bug her to death, plan ways to play tricks on people at work, take my dog for a walk, (he was mad when we went for a 15 mile walk once), I spent four hours at a pet store once and came home with a fish, (His name is Joe Pecci), I play sudoku, paint my nails, dye my hair, spend hours talking to people on SR, and a million and one other things, just as long as I DO NOT drink.

I hope this helps.

TheJungianThing

Happy Holidays. That's Pigpen in your avatar isn't it ?


Boredom in the first year for me was spent - at meetings, looking at my resentments, fears, and harms done to others and talking about them with someone. Then there's the excitement and adrenaline of making 9th step approaches to folks. After that comes - video games, message boards, school, lifting weights, hanging out with new found friends from the AA fellowship, then a new job. Then opportunities begin to present themselves that are exciting. Trips to see old friends and going to meetings in other states and one country (Canada), hiking, signing up to volunteer at other service organizations, accomplishing the mission at one job and then moving onto another. Then the wife gets pregnant TWICE - one time with a son and then with twin girls -

After 9 years, about the only thing I've let slide has been video games - obvious reasons. And lifting, got injured.

My life is considerably more exicting today then it was during my last years of drinking, sitting at the bar or alone at home in front of a t.v. or computer screen wondering when things were going to get better. When things were going to be different - singing the old classic tune ..."Someday, everythings gonna be different - when I paint my masterpiece".

When school is done (June) I can't wait to get back to the guitar and play me some Dead tunes again.

Happy Holidays to you. I went the AA way. If you choose to do so, it will work as much as you choose to work it. If you don't, most of the other methods I've read about all seem to indicate some sort of "change" in action, scene, pursuit of something life affirming and more fullfilling than simply getting good and buzzed up.

Mark75

Wasn't boredom, really... I thought it was. I was just so used to filling time with substances and such that I was out of practice doing real things.

Like...

Reading, Listening to the Grateful Dead (I particularly like the Pigpen era... Fillmore East tapes from 1970-72), Playing the Guitar, Riding Bicycle, Skiing, Talking to family, shooting, fishing, camping, logging on to SR... all that.

Just takes practice... Then we don't exit this life too early, like Pigpen... RIP.

Sally1009

Boredom is deadly for me too. I think it's a milder form of depression. And tho there are often many things to do, the state of being bored
means nothing seems interesting. So I'm with u on that one. To counteract it I call
people on my AA list, and watch old tv series like Frasier and Friends on my lap top. Sad, but its keeping me sober. Peaceful holidays..

Itchy

Boredom was the whole reason I was drinking. I have a great life. I am still bored a lot. So I come here. You see we are only as interesting, as we are interested. Take a class at night in person not online. I don't mean a skate class like gym 101. Learn calculus, take up an instrument you never played, try acting (alcoholics are great at that.) Is there a scuba certification class there, most are at night so all can attend or some anyway. Apparently you are on the day shift. Change shifts to night shift as then you can't drink before work or after. Will that require a change pf jobs? So?

I read to quiet my mind. I read watching TV, using the toilet, relaxing and when waiting in doctor's offices or other appointments like waiting for my car or other thing to be fixed. I don't use an e-reader. I don't buy books. About two years ago I was thinking of how high books had become and discovered that my local public library was perfect and now I have two books a week checked out.

I am still as boring/bored as I ever was. And less obnoxious at it than when I was drinking heavy.

I can be happy bored and sober. My problem isn't finding something fun and a challenge to do and get very good at. My problem is making the choices because even though many will say that I have lived ten lifetimes in my one, there is not enough time to do all the fun things in this life. I consider learning and doing like welding and fabricating, woodworking, household chores and using my tractor around the place.

Please don't think I did not hear you, or am criticizing. From one boring person to another, it takes work to do the truly interesting things in this life we are given. With what I am saving on smokes and alcohol we are going to take a vacation overseas and see some friends we haven't in ten years. Everybody has a bucket list inside. Some of us are just afraid we can't, so we won't.

But I am bored a lot too. And sober. Bored not in pain beats the alternative.

doggonecarl

Alcoholics drink. Period. And we didn't need a reason. What I've learned from reading this forum is that when we relapse, we need a reason...a trigger.

awuh1

Boredom? It’s not boredom. It’s how you feel when you’re not distracted. If you pay a bit more attention to how you feel (when you’re not distracted) you will discover another (or various other) emotions. These are the emotions you are attempting to “mask” with alcohol or other substances. It’s not pleasant to feel these emotions, hence the need for distraction. Labeling them “boredom” is yet another way of not experiencing them. Most often, at the bottom of it all, is a form of depression, but not always. Less often its anxiety or even some low level physical pain. Whatever it is, identifying it, is the first step in a solution. Remember, depression is the problem that tells you there is no solution……. Alcoholism is the problem that tells you that you don’t have a problem.

Zencat

take good care

InsertNameHere

I feel you man my problem is the things that used to entertain me I started drinking during and now they aren't as much fun/interesting without drinking. most of the things listed in this thread, watching movies, reading, in my case playing computer games. All of it with beer, and now its just not as much fun without it, and I get bored. Especially in the evenings because that was home time which always meant beer for me anyway. I am still figuring out how to make it better if I do think of something that works I will let you know.

INH

MrDavid

Hi F355,

Happy holidays. Boredom was a huge trigger for me back when. It allowed my mind to wander beyond the limits of human decency. The only way I could overcome my boredom, at the time, was to escape -through the use of alcohol or other mood enhancing substances. These and other destructive behaviors were the direct result of my "unassuming lifestyle". And so went my tale of woe, "ad infinitum". So, what changed.

My life did, thanks be to God and "AA". I no longer have to fill that void with useless garble, like drugs and alcohol. I have a program and more importantly, I value my time today -something I didn't do back when. There are so many alternatives out there today, which can fill the void that our boredom can cause. Some of those have already been mentioned, like: Exercise, sports, meditation, music, the arts and community work. These and other outlets can fill our minds with positive reinforcement, instead of negative consequences. And a lot less headaches as well. Those who value their time well are also the ones who develop a happier outlook on life. So use your time wisely and don't allow you idle mind any comforts it can't afford.

~God bless~

babycat

I get this a lot. And it pisses me off really. I used to love to go out clubbing with my friends, just to dress up and dance my ass off, and it was some of the most fun times of my life. And it was without a drop of alcohol. Now, I only want to if I am seriously buzzed up. And yeah, watching movies while drunk is more fun to me (tho I hate that I often forget the ending so obviously its not that great.) So yeah, its not that I am "bored", I just have more fun when drunk. And I am driven by fun, unfortunately.

Zencat

I too had troubles making sobriety stick. There were all sorts of causes to hinder my stickiness of the allusive sobriety state. Time and time again sobriety eluded me. or I dogged it

One simple day it clicked-in, being doggy by way of dipping in a bit got me deftly sick. Sick of the slick ass shite I was, as that is me...slick with the reverberation connotative execution of righteousness to be ill on demand oh I'm so good bro.

Thank goodness there is a finality that happens before my realization of such,

sugarbear1

I don't believe boredom exists. It's just the mind's inability to put the body to use. Alcohol deluded me. Today, my thoughts are clear, my ability to be productive has improved, and my former inability to fall and stay asleep is nonexistent. Yes, alcohol, the great pretender, deluded me.

Terminally Unique

It might help to consider that plenty of people experience boredom without getting drunk.

Kza

Do you think it is a trick? Perhaps it is the mind using boredom as an excuse for drinking.

NYCDoglvr

What became readily apparent in early sobriety is we make a decision to drink and to not drink. Alcoholism isn't a disease of the elbow. I made sure there were recovering AA's I could call when a craving hit....fortunately I chose to call them instead of drink. Of course there are triggers but you can get through them without drinking if you have some sort of program and the support you need.


If I'm bored then it's my responsibility to find something interesting to do. Boredom doesn't happen to me, it's just another "life on life's terms" thing for me to handle.

Scolova

Some of the worst things I've done in my life were when I was 'under the influence of boredom'... although, as mentioned above; my boredom was also anger at myself and at the 'system' of which I knew I had fallen right through the cracks. I believe that coupled with the right-of-passage mentality pretty much sums up why I started drinking like a fiend in the first place. Perpetuated by insomnia, more resentment and anxiety until my "trigger" for drinking and smoking became; Waking up every morning and then with every breath I took after that. It feels like I really did hit 'my' rock-bottom back in September, after ~20 years of using weed and alcohol (+). I still have the bad times with boredom and the rest, but I now find it manageable, livable, cope-able without the drugs.

BackToSquareOne

I always thought that a lot of our self destructive behaviors, anxiety/depression etc. were just a manifestation of anger turned inward. Kind of a powerlessness over things we view as unfair or unjust so we play the victim and our only outlet seems to be to turn the anger inward which puts us in self destruct mode.

F355

Holy Mackerel! There have been so many helpful, insightful responses to my original post that I truly don't even know where to begin. Even some homages to the Grateful Dead, which is myall time favorite band, too. R.I.P. Pigpen. (And yes, I agree, those early years with Pigpen were some of the best).

Thanks everyone. One of the main points I noted in your responses is the power of the Addictive Voice, alcoholic mind, or whatever you want to call it, to (for lack of a better word) trick you. Oh, boy, do I ever know what you mean. I certainly don't bring up the topic of boredom as an excuse to screw up, although I absoutely agree that our AV, AM, or whatever you want to call it, most certainly does use this tactic against us -- and will use it with anything as the excuse!

That said, thanks for all the great ideas on coping with boredom. It is reassuring to find that so many others out there have the same issue that I have. I'm not the only one! Boredom, however it manifests, or for whatever reason, is something we have to learn to cope with. I think the main thing I take away from all of the above is that it is possible to recognize how this trigger (and, or, the AV), sets up on us, and to develop strategies for dealing with it.

As one (or several) of you have said in other posts, if you truly want to be sober you have to work harder at being sober than you did at being/getting drunk.

I get that!

Thanks everyone, and Merry Christmas! My greatest gift today is that I didn't drink or get high last night.

And what do you know, I feel sharper today than I have in quite some time!

Cheers... with, for me, a cup of coffee in hand....

(Also, do NOT get me started on the Grateful Dead! They are more than a band to me. They are a way of life! )