Bianca105

Or at least tell me if they have had or even heard of similar experiences?

I'm just confused about everything right now, this is my seventh day sober.

I was wondering if this is at all normal. In one of my attempts to moderate, I would only have two drinks (margaritas). I could stop there (eventually it would escalate, but for a couple of weeks I would stop at that point or close to it.)

The thing is, the next day I would still feel very weird, extremely emotional and my sleep would have been disrupted all through the night, just like if I'd had many more drinks. My friends say this is impossible but I really think all the years of drinking did something bizarre to my body chemistry.

This is actually one of the reasons I'm quitting, is because drinking made me so emotional, I would think people were insulting me when they weren't and would get into arguments that didn't have to happen, a lot of times when I wasn't drunk, it was just all part of the fog.

The reason I'm mulling this over today is that today I patched things up with my sister, so that's good What's not good is I think I took some things she said completely out of context in a way that can only be described as unhinged. And I'm not even sure if I was drunk, hungover, or just surly.

I was just curious if anyone else had similar experiences to mine, I guess having a kind of lowered hangover threshold? Not sure what else to call it.

Thanks in advance.

Dee74

I don't know if its the same thing and I have no scientific basis for this, but years of drinking definitely made me very sensitive/thin skinned.

I was defensive, fearful and paranoid about people and things they'd said to me etc - eventually I found this was so whether I was drinking or not.

I straightened out eventually after some sober time tho

D

Bianca105

Thanks Dee
A big part of the reason I started drinking so much is because I feel like such a loser for being epileptic.
I hate it that I can't take part in all the activities that other people do, but I could always go out to bars.
I'm pretty highly photosensitive, so I have trouble doing daylight things and stuff with kids. I also get tired easily.
Drinking became a huge comfort to me, then, I don't know what happened. Somehow I realized everyone was saying all these "offensive" things... could I be wrong?
I'm probably still feeling just as bad for being epileptic and the alcohol isn't working anymore, I don't know. But I'm tired of being in arguments with people.

I also get very emotional the day after drinking, to the point where I can't control my crying.

LexieCat

Alcoholism causes brain damage, period. Your brain is actually malfunctioning. The good news is that with continued sobriety, the brain forms new pathways and you can be better than you ever dreamed possible.

A lot of the anxiety and paranoia I felt at the end of my drinking turned out to be a result, not the cause, of my drinking. It is completely gone now.

RobbyRobot

At seven days, who knows what normal is? Confusion is a normal experience when we're initially sobering up. Feeling like a loser for whatever reason is also a normal thing in our early days. Being sensitive is again another normal reaction to the heavy duty stresses what with stopping alcoholism, and starting sobriety.

For my early days I cared less about what was the meaning of everything, and cared more about doing that next right thing to keep me from getting drunk. That was enough on my plate. Doing the next right thing required some changes, otherwise absolutely I was just gonna drink again. Doing those changes, making them real, getting down to the business of not getting another drunk on kept me busy enough not to get all fouled up on specific emotional or mental issues, even though I was overwhelmed with issuse after issue. There would be time enough to understand myself after I had discovered, really experienced how to stay away from getting drunk again. I was more hungry for a better life each day I didn't get drunk.

You know, have courage! Things DO get better in some way each day you're not drunk. Take a hopeful look at yourself. Search out those precious things, inside and outside of yourself, and hold on tight to them. You're not alone in your journey.

sugarbear1

read Alcoholics Anonymous for fun!

bmwcycle

Yup, as others have said it get better with time,

Good luck,

Bianca105

Thanks LexieCat.
I definitely feel anxiety and paranoia, I'm worried about everything and everyone. I feel like I've messed up every relationship in my life.

I do think I've caused a lot of this with my drinking. Five years ago I was a totally different person.

instant

Alcohol permeates and hijacks our emotional systems. In my experience I now know that I am still getting back to normal. In the first few months many strange experiences happened. My physical withdrawal was not that bad.

In retrospect I think every buzz does some damage. It takes time to get things on an even keel.

Bianca105

Thanks instant I agree I think every buzz does some damage.
During those times that I would moderate I would wind up feeling just as bad, with the depression etc I think that is part of what led me back to heavy drinking!

It's been a complete week and I agree, physically is easier for me than mentally. It's easier when someone lets me know that this is normal, other people have experienced it.

Today I cried a lot, & I was just thinking back on all those times I would cry after having just a normal amount of alcohol (one or 2) and thinking, omg, what happened to my brain?

WritingFromLife

Bianca--Yes--I believe the same thing happened to me. After 18 mos sans alcohol, I had three very small glasses of wine in the afternoon, and by the evening, I was paranoid and my anxiety levels shot through the roof. This lasted through the next day. I could put back some wine in my drinking days--that little bit would have been nothing.

NYCDoglvr

Absolutely ... I was extremely emotionally volatile when I stopped drinking, it lasted for months. I was told it's withdrawal and very common.