DaveO

Alcohol is someone talking to you, and you looking right past them because you are not interested.

choublak

People in their twenties do. At least the ones I know/knew...

MattM316

Most people do drink alcohol, but why wouldn't they?
Life isn't about eating salad and drinking water every day, it's about enjoying yourself but at the same time being aware of what damages you.
Like these parents who don't let their kids eat any fast food at all. Ridiculous. Ofcourse kids can have a McDonalds every now and again, aslong as they're not being fed it every week then it's not a problem.
But when you're prone to addiction, then that turns itself upside down.

I feel jealous of people who can get drunk and merry every now and again and not get to the stage where it dominates every single day of their lives.
These are normal people who drink alcohol probably every week, but it is not a problem for them whatsoever.

The annoying thing, from our point of view, is that many people can go out, have a great time, get drunk and NOT be alcoholics.

Supercrew

I lived many years as a follower when it came to drinking. I can't count how many times I let my buddies talk me into a few drinks only to end up regretting it.

Now I can hang out anywhere with anyone in a drinking environment and not drink and be happy.

The difference is that previously I really wanted to drink because I believed that I couldn't have fun without it and I thought I wouldn't be accepted. When I decided I didn't want to drink anymore the lightbulb went on and avoiding alcohol and turning down people trying to get me to drink became quite easy.

Somewhere in your mind you still want to drink, that's why it's hard. As long as you feel like you are missing out those situations are going to lead you to drinking.

When you are able to change your subconscious mind you will solve your problem. It's not easy, but it is possible.

Terminally Unique

I assume that you are asking because of your BF, trying to get an idea of how it feels to have quit? My decision to never drink again is unconditional, and transcends circumstances. Yes, there are times when I have mental images or thoughts of drinking, but I ignore them.

Just because I have a thought or a desire does not mean that I have to act on it, any more than I have to react to my body telling me to reach out and touch some pretty girl on the subway. I recognize that thought as "wrong," dissociate from that thought, and don't do it.

As for not being a normie, I consider myself a normal person who never drinks, and unless they are causing me problems by doing so, I do not care if other people drink, even right in front of me. If they offer me a drink, I say "no, thanks."

LaFemme

I read a really interesting book by Allan Carr called the Easy Way to Qui Drinking. Regardless of whether you subscribe to his approach to sobriety he does go a long way in explaining this and helping me deal with it.

Now, when I'm around drinkers (normal and otherwise) I only see the consumption of poison and if I feel anything it's sad for them that they feel a desire to drink at all (even if they don't have a problem).

MattM316

Surely we should admire them?
That they are able to consume a drug and then quite easily and happily not consume or think about it for days on end. To the extent that it really doesn't negatively affect their lives in any way whatsoever.

If anything, they should feel sad for us, that we have such a major problem that alcohol is such an issue in general life.

Terminally Unique

I don't feel sad for them, since drinking, even intoxication, is a personal liberty, and they are welcome to it, but neither do I admire them.

Why should they feel sad for us?

Supercrew

I really don't think about their drinking, and I don't care what they think about me not drinking. It's my choice.

People who give any thought to drinking period have probably had it affect their life negatively at some point.

Image101

I can't look at any alcohol without thinking of the stupid amount of pain and misery it caused me, by my own hand. I think I kind of 'conditioned' myself to feel this way; i've forgotten about the euphoria alcohol used to give me (even though that disappeared a loooong time ago). If people choose to drink, so be it, but I can spot a potential alcoholic in a heartbeat (and believe me, the school I attend has PLENTY of them).

Beebizzy

I think I’ve lost sight of the OP’s original question. Was it ‘how to not drink when alcohol is all around?’ Or was it ‘how to say “no” when your mates are encouraging you and getting loaded themselves?’.

In either case, for me, the answer is the same. What Supercrew said. It starts with you and what’s in your head.

Who cares what anyone else is doing? Who cares what they say? Who cares if they are alkies or normies, or how you define that? I don’t admire or pity anyone who drinks or who doesn’t (socially) – I don’t care.

Getting there mentally is a different story, of course. But once you are there it is easy (Supercrew’s ‘lightbulb’). I used to drink one or two max socially with no problem, no matter how plastered or pushy anyone else was (part of my messed up ‘rules’ and ‘rituals’ – so actually I got there in kind of a sick way). But I was a VERY secret alkie. Go figure - saying ‘no’ to myself, alone without any pressure from others, was impossible.

Now it’s possible and becoming easier :-)

I understand (I think?) that the OP has the opposite difficulty. But the dynamic is the same – it starts in your head with what you really want.

BB

NYCDoglvr

That was also true for me in early recovery ..... bottles seemed to jump out shouting my name. But trust me, it gets a whole lot better. I couldn't have gotten -- or stayed -- sober without the support of AA. Perhaps some people can do it on their own but I'm not one of them.

soberlicious

I don't use the term "normie" either. I am a normal person, who doesn't drink. I dance, I laugh, I flirt, I interact...I just don't drink. I don't want to. I would be curious as to another's focus on my and my habits (ie someone telling me I need to drink) I wouldn't hang around someone like that... NOT based on the fact they are drinkers, rather based on the fact that they are colossal idiots. Who does that?? I would wonder if they weren't sorely lacking in intellect...find some new friends lol

LaFemme

I would not want anyone to feel sad for me because I don't drink. I have yet to meet some one who improves as a human after consuming alcohol so I dOnt admire people who drink without a problem. That's like someone admiring me because I'm tall

I just wish I didn have to smell the stuff when I'm around someone who is drinking...man it reeks!

least

In early sobriety it bothered me to see wine bottles or wine glasses, but at a year sober I didn't even notice anymore.

MattM316

I never meant that, I meant because you/we don't drink because we have a serious problem with alcohol that most people don't have.
Most people can go out once or twice a month, get wasted and not let it be an issue at all. We can't, it's us with the problem.
We shouldn't look down on people who do that, if anything we should look up to them, that they are able to drink alcohol without it messing up their lives.

WritingFromLife

LaFemme--my take on your OP--after gaining understanding of exactly what alcohol IS (to me, just burning ethanol!), i think, Why in the WORLD would I want that in my body? Well, you know what I mean....I know WHY i wanted it at the time...but now, I see it as straight up poison. I'm not judging people who drink, I'm just turned off by the thought of polluting my system with the stuff, in any amount. I guess like a health nut would be watching someone eat the new 1700 calorie Denny's Mac Cheese Burger.

WritingFromLife

I'm not awake yet--my response was to LaFemmes response about seeing alcohol as poison. Wasn't the OP--I clicked on page two instead of 1!

BobGT

Normies can drink like the the actors on tv where they have a few drinks, have a few laughs, and go on with their lives.

Alcoholics drink like the actors in real life with their mug shots in the tabloids and on the intermaweb.

Unfortunately, I fall in the second group.

soberlicious

well, I am not sure I understand the people being described in the OP as "normies". People who were around me when I was drinking did NOT like me as a drunk. Any "normie" would certainly prefer me sober to me drinking.