boss1

There were bands playing and about 300 people boozing around me. My mum took me there on one condition; i didn't drink. So i convinced myself i could do it. Armed with valium and will, we went. I got so anxious, couln't relax, about 10 valium later and no change. I was envious of all thesee people that could drink and have fun. I texted my my dad and manipulated him into saying i could have 1 beer and that was it. But it didnt stop there. My mum was watching mme like a hawk as i drank my first can of beer. I said i wanted to get a burger which was next to the bar. I skulled the rest of my beer and got my burger and another can. i skulled half that before returning to my mum to make it seem like it was the ssame one. So far, i was fooling her. Inside where the bands were was packed and i told mum i needed mobile service so i went out side, skulleed another beer and a glass of chardonay. went back inside for a while then claimed i needed service again. this repeated aabout 3 times before my mum saw me walk awway from the bar chugging chardonay. Busted! My mum was furious and said i ruined her night. me? I was flying high, having fun. Why can't she accept the fact that I am an alcoholic and the drink controls me? Luckily i live 6 hours from her and don't have to go through her ****. but i really wish i hadn't had that first drink. 1 drink is too much and 100 is never enough for me. sigh.

Dee74

Hi Boss

Sorry - this is bogus, boss. This entire site argues against the idea that there's nothing we can do but drink.

And your mums not the issue here either - I'm presuming you're no longer a child - the responsibility is yours, not your mums.

I was a musician for many years - I 'fell' many times at gigs for the same reasons you did.

When I got serious about wanting to be sober, I stopped going to gigs - I stopped putting myself in dangerous recovery situations until I was sure I could handle them and stay sober no matter what.

I still think the few months I took myself out of those situations was a great investment.

Sobriety really should be serious stuff. I'd think a little more about what you really want to achieve, boss.

I could sober or I could live my old life, but I couldn't do both.

D

CarolD

You really did something very dangerous when you drank on that med.
They are not to be used at all if you drink....and taking so many in
a short time period is really drug abuse.



I do hope you will start to take better care of yourself. ..



.

Mark75

10 valium, really?

tooling

Hi

You need to just stay away from alcohol refueling centers, aka bars. Who pulls up to a gas station pump and doesn't get gas?

boss1

Yeah about 7 - 10 I was so anxious and trying to calm down and stop thinking about drinking

BurnToBuild

Between the alcohol and the drugs that can be found at a typical gig, it's pretty much a futile experience unless you are in the band and can isolate yourself, play, and then get back into cover.

Without exception, all my friends are in bands. So i'm going to be very alone for a long, long time.

ZZworldontheweb

"Why can't everybody just be cool with me drinking until it kills me?"

That's essentially what you're saying. You need a plan to quit for good, brother.

MattM316

I'm just wondering what kind of a gig serves chardonay!!

It is difficult at gigs tho, especially during the support bands and the time in between bands.

sugarbear1

You're now another Master Manipulator. With a codependent Mum.

Rehab, dude. Try it. Or just keep drinking, maybe you aren't ready to quit. Does Mum like wearing black? 10 valium AND alcohol, great mix for shutting down your brain.

Just quit using. Anxiety will lessen. Sobriety Rules. Life is worth it!

CarolD

Posts have been removed that were not supportive
please let's remember how difficult it is to quit and stay quit. Take off your halo's.

I'm closeing this thread....if anyone wishes to assist this young man on his quest ...here is his latest thread.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3075965

Thank you