I can't stop. I try and try, but can't.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1
I can't stop. I try and try, but can't.
I've been going through 3 bottles of wine for the last 3 years. I've tried to wean myself off by dropping to a bottle, but I always end up back at the liquor store late at night buying more. I don't want this anymore. I shake a lot during the day, and can't concentrate sometimes. I need help. I want this to end. I just want to stop. What do I do?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Definitely go to the doc FIRST. That's a lot of wine for a long long time, and it may not be as easy as quitting cold turkey. You can get VERY sick from doing so alone. Please, please make that first step. Once you start telling the doc about it, I promise you, it's a problem shared and they will help you get on track.
Also, stay in touch with us on SR. There are people on here (myself included) that, with the help, support and advice on here from fellow drug/alcohol abusers have managed to get sober and stay sober. I wish you the very best.
Also, stay in touch with us on SR. There are people on here (myself included) that, with the help, support and advice on here from fellow drug/alcohol abusers have managed to get sober and stay sober. I wish you the very best.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi HelpStop
Welcome
I agree the first step is to make sure you're safe in detox - it can be problematic for some of us, so please do seek medical advice.
I tried and tried too...for years. Finding support made all the difference for me.
You'll find a lot of support and ideas here.
Face to to face support may be helpful for you too - have you thought of checking out a recovery group like AA or SMART?
D
Welcome
I agree the first step is to make sure you're safe in detox - it can be problematic for some of us, so please do seek medical advice.
I tried and tried too...for years. Finding support made all the difference for me.
You'll find a lot of support and ideas here.
Face to to face support may be helpful for you too - have you thought of checking out a recovery group like AA or SMART?
D
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
You don't have to drink anymore. But it's really tough to quit on your own which you have discovered. The first thing you need to do is detox and you need to see a doctor for help with that. Trying to taper off and quit by yourself isn't going to work for you.
After you physically detox you need a program of recovery, again it's really hard to stay quit by yourself. There are several ways to do this, personally I go to AA.
If possible you could go to an inpatient facility and get a jump start on both aspects of the recovery process.
After you physically detox you need a program of recovery, again it's really hard to stay quit by yourself. There are several ways to do this, personally I go to AA.
If possible you could go to an inpatient facility and get a jump start on both aspects of the recovery process.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
The only way to stop is to stop. As suggested here, a medically-supervised detox is safest.
The fact that you are shaking during the day means you are physically dependent on alcohol. I was, too. You can't stop drinking because you HAVE to drink to feel any semblance of "normal".
First step is getting the alcohol out of your system. Staying stopped is a whole other issue, as people have been saying. Detox+rehab (either in-patient or outpatient) would get you off to a good start.
The fact that you are shaking during the day means you are physically dependent on alcohol. I was, too. You can't stop drinking because you HAVE to drink to feel any semblance of "normal".
First step is getting the alcohol out of your system. Staying stopped is a whole other issue, as people have been saying. Detox+rehab (either in-patient or outpatient) would get you off to a good start.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome to SR!
I have journal entries from when I drank that are almost exactly what you just wrote. I also drank 3 a night although I always knew better than to taper...I knew I wouldn't be able to stop after I started.
I also had the shakes...the queasy stomach...it was hell. I also tried to quit for years.
Support helps almost everyone...even if its simply posting here. Seeing a doctor is a good first step. Then stop.
Do you have any family or friends who might come and stay with you the first few days...it might help?
Good luck and please keep posting....I think you will find it helps
I have journal entries from when I drank that are almost exactly what you just wrote. I also drank 3 a night although I always knew better than to taper...I knew I wouldn't be able to stop after I started.
I also had the shakes...the queasy stomach...it was hell. I also tried to quit for years.
Support helps almost everyone...even if its simply posting here. Seeing a doctor is a good first step. Then stop.
Do you have any family or friends who might come and stay with you the first few days...it might help?
Good luck and please keep posting....I think you will find it helps
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,964
Welcome to SR.
I'm glad you are moving in another direction than the one your on. You can recover and SR is a great place to do it.
I'm glad you are moving in another direction than the one your on. You can recover and SR is a great place to do it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
HelpStop:
Hi there.
As you can hear in the posts, almost everyone here who has successfully quit drinking tried to do it over and over and over for YEARS. You have three years of 3 bottles a day drinking behind you. Many of us did that for a LOT LONGER than that. For me it was something like 15 years before I quit. That was over 20 years ago.
The other thing you will frequently hear is regret over not having stopped a LOT sooner than we did. What finally worked? What made us finally succeed?
One of the hardest things is making a decision "never to drink again". Just that thought alone stops many people from even trying. At one time in my life, I could not fathom that thought. Did not want to entertain that idea. I LIKED my booze. Why the hell would I stop doing something I liked to do?
I don't know about anyone else, but the end for me finally came when the downside of drinking finally outweighed the upside for me. A simple enough thought, but when played out over years, the balance finally shifted in the direction that I really needed to stop if I wanted to be free.
I got tired of needing to know where the nearest open liquor store was, and if I were traveling, how long between the wine on the plane and the next place I could buy it after I got off? Can't go anywhere after 3 because I can't drink at that place. My husband and I used to drink wine in coffee cups in the car while we went places. This was before so many people were getting DWI's. I look back at that now and shudder.
Eventually, if you are a daily drinker, you discover that your entire LIFE is controlled by access to booze. Your freedom is gone, held captive by drinking.
For me, that was enough. Stopping was still tough, and I didn't look on stopping as a "forever" thing at first, because I couldn't. I knew that, at any given moment, I could drink if I wanted to. I just had to no longer want to anymore.
I hear ya that you "want" to stop. But the "addict brain" part of you is winning when you listen to it instead of the voice of reason in the other part of your head. One day, you decide you just aren't going to listen to it anymore.
Having said all the above, which is just a bunch of words and maybe a bunch of crap, if you are at physical risk by just stopping, don't take the risk on your own. There are safer ways of doing it. A doctor can check your liver function to make sure you are in good health, and you will get some good support there for stopping at the same time.
Good luck, and I think you thought processes are heading the right direction. Desire to quit comes first. The follow through is next.
FT
Hi there.
As you can hear in the posts, almost everyone here who has successfully quit drinking tried to do it over and over and over for YEARS. You have three years of 3 bottles a day drinking behind you. Many of us did that for a LOT LONGER than that. For me it was something like 15 years before I quit. That was over 20 years ago.
The other thing you will frequently hear is regret over not having stopped a LOT sooner than we did. What finally worked? What made us finally succeed?
One of the hardest things is making a decision "never to drink again". Just that thought alone stops many people from even trying. At one time in my life, I could not fathom that thought. Did not want to entertain that idea. I LIKED my booze. Why the hell would I stop doing something I liked to do?
I don't know about anyone else, but the end for me finally came when the downside of drinking finally outweighed the upside for me. A simple enough thought, but when played out over years, the balance finally shifted in the direction that I really needed to stop if I wanted to be free.
I got tired of needing to know where the nearest open liquor store was, and if I were traveling, how long between the wine on the plane and the next place I could buy it after I got off? Can't go anywhere after 3 because I can't drink at that place. My husband and I used to drink wine in coffee cups in the car while we went places. This was before so many people were getting DWI's. I look back at that now and shudder.
Eventually, if you are a daily drinker, you discover that your entire LIFE is controlled by access to booze. Your freedom is gone, held captive by drinking.
For me, that was enough. Stopping was still tough, and I didn't look on stopping as a "forever" thing at first, because I couldn't. I knew that, at any given moment, I could drink if I wanted to. I just had to no longer want to anymore.
I hear ya that you "want" to stop. But the "addict brain" part of you is winning when you listen to it instead of the voice of reason in the other part of your head. One day, you decide you just aren't going to listen to it anymore.
Having said all the above, which is just a bunch of words and maybe a bunch of crap, if you are at physical risk by just stopping, don't take the risk on your own. There are safer ways of doing it. A doctor can check your liver function to make sure you are in good health, and you will get some good support there for stopping at the same time.
Good luck, and I think you thought processes are heading the right direction. Desire to quit comes first. The follow through is next.
FT
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by HelpStop 
I want this to end. I just want to stop. What do I do?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by HelpStop
I've been going through 3 bottles of wine for the last 3 years. I've tried to wean myself off by dropping to a bottle, but I always end up back at the liquor store late at night buying more. I don't want this anymore. I shake a lot during the day, and can't concentrate sometimes. I need help. I want this to end. I just want to stop. What do I do?
You can. The problem is that you won't know it until after you do it, and you can't look around the corner to see what lies ahead. It is almost a leap of faith.
Although I did not do this myself, I recommend medical detox. Alcohol withdrawal can be deadly, but there are legitimate reasons for doing this even if you are not that bad off.
Each detox stint usually gets worse, and the more times you start and stop, the worse the withdrawals will get. A tapered detox will prevent this phenomenon.
Many doctors will prescribe an outpatient regimen if you don't want to do inpatient. The procedure is pretty standardized, and it usually takes about four days.
The first 90 days after the detox will probably be the most difficult, as there can be lingering depression, insomnia, and cravings for a while, but it does pass.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:What to do?
Originally Posted by LexieCat
The only way to stop is to stop. As suggested here, a medically-supervised detox is safest.
The fact that you are shaking during the day means you are physically dependent on alcohol. I was, too. You can't stop drinking because you HAVE to drink to feel any semblance of "normal".
First step is getting the alcohol out of your system. Staying stopped is a whole other issue, as people have been saying. Detox+rehab (either in-patient or outpatient) would get you off to a good start.
The fact that you are shaking during the day means you are physically dependent on alcohol. I was, too. You can't stop drinking because you HAVE to drink to feel any semblance of "normal".
First step is getting the alcohol out of your system. Staying stopped is a whole other issue, as people have been saying. Detox+rehab (either in-patient or outpatient) would get you off to a good start.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Petaluma, ca
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by failedtaper
HelpStop:
Hi there.
As you can hear in the posts, almost everyone here who has successfully quit drinking tried to do it over and over and over for YEARS. You have three years of 3 bottles a day drinking behind you. Many of us did that for a LOT LONGER than that. For me it was something like 15 years before I quit. That was over 20 years ago.
The other thing you will frequently hear is regret over not having stopped a LOT sooner than we did. What finally worked? What made us finally succeed?
One of the hardest things is making a decision "never to drink again". Just that thought alone stops many people from even trying. At one time in my life, I could not fathom that thought. Did not want to entertain that idea. I LIKED my booze. Why the hell would I stop doing something I liked to do?
I don't know about anyone else, but the end for me finally came when the downside of drinking finally outweighed the upside for me. A simple enough thought, but when played out over years, the balance finally shifted in the direction that I really needed to stop if I wanted to be free.
I got tired of needing to know where the nearest open liquor store was, and if I were traveling, how long between the wine on the plane and the next place I could buy it after I got off? Can't go anywhere after 3 because I can't drink at that place. My husband and I used to drink wine in coffee cups in the car while we went places. This was before so many people were getting DWI's. I look back at that now and shudder.
Eventually, if you are a daily drinker, you discover that your entire LIFE is controlled by access to booze. Your freedom is gone, held captive by drinking.
For me, that was enough. Stopping was still tough, and I didn't look on stopping as a "forever" thing at first, because I couldn't. I knew that, at any given moment, I could drink if I wanted to. I just had to no longer want to anymore.
I hear ya that you "want" to stop. But the "addict brain" part of you is winning when you listen to it instead of the voice of reason in the other part of your head. One day, you decide you just aren't going to listen to it anymore.
Having said all the above, which is just a bunch of words and maybe a bunch of crap, if you are at physical risk by just stopping, don't take the risk on your own. There are safer ways of doing it. A doctor can check your liver function to make sure you are in good health, and you will get some good support there for stopping at the same time.
Good luck, and I think you thought processes are heading the right direction. Desire to quit comes first. The follow through is next.
FT
Hi there.
As you can hear in the posts, almost everyone here who has successfully quit drinking tried to do it over and over and over for YEARS. You have three years of 3 bottles a day drinking behind you. Many of us did that for a LOT LONGER than that. For me it was something like 15 years before I quit. That was over 20 years ago.
The other thing you will frequently hear is regret over not having stopped a LOT sooner than we did. What finally worked? What made us finally succeed?
One of the hardest things is making a decision "never to drink again". Just that thought alone stops many people from even trying. At one time in my life, I could not fathom that thought. Did not want to entertain that idea. I LIKED my booze. Why the hell would I stop doing something I liked to do?
I don't know about anyone else, but the end for me finally came when the downside of drinking finally outweighed the upside for me. A simple enough thought, but when played out over years, the balance finally shifted in the direction that I really needed to stop if I wanted to be free.
I got tired of needing to know where the nearest open liquor store was, and if I were traveling, how long between the wine on the plane and the next place I could buy it after I got off? Can't go anywhere after 3 because I can't drink at that place. My husband and I used to drink wine in coffee cups in the car while we went places. This was before so many people were getting DWI's. I look back at that now and shudder.
Eventually, if you are a daily drinker, you discover that your entire LIFE is controlled by access to booze. Your freedom is gone, held captive by drinking.
For me, that was enough. Stopping was still tough, and I didn't look on stopping as a "forever" thing at first, because I couldn't. I knew that, at any given moment, I could drink if I wanted to. I just had to no longer want to anymore.
I hear ya that you "want" to stop. But the "addict brain" part of you is winning when you listen to it instead of the voice of reason in the other part of your head. One day, you decide you just aren't going to listen to it anymore.
Having said all the above, which is just a bunch of words and maybe a bunch of crap, if you are at physical risk by just stopping, don't take the risk on your own. There are safer ways of doing it. A doctor can check your liver function to make sure you are in good health, and you will get some good support there for stopping at the same time.
Good luck, and I think you thought processes are heading the right direction. Desire to quit comes first. The follow through is next.
FT
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I REALLY identify with what you are saying.
I too know that at any time I can drink. I also appreciate the bit about being controlled by access to booze. Sure rings true,
You have really helped me feel like I can do this.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Petaluma, ca
Posts: 11
Originally Posted by AVRT
That perception of powerlessness, which you are experiencing, is the fertile illusion that sustains addiction. First, forget all notions that you can't do this.
You can. The problem is that you won't know it until after you do it, and you can't look around the corner to see what lies ahead. It is almost a leap of faith.
Although I did not do this myself, I recommend medical detox. Alcohol withdrawal can be deadly, but there are legitimate reasons for doing this even if you are not that bad off.
Each detox stint usually gets worse, and the more times you start and stop, the worse the withdrawals will get. A tapered detox will prevent this phenomenon.
Many doctors will prescribe an outpatient regimen if you don't want to do inpatient. The procedure is pretty standardized, and it usually takes about four days.
The first 90 days after the detox will probably be the most difficult, as there can be lingering depression, insomnia, and cravings for a while, but it does pass.
You can. The problem is that you won't know it until after you do it, and you can't look around the corner to see what lies ahead. It is almost a leap of faith.
Although I did not do this myself, I recommend medical detox. Alcohol withdrawal can be deadly, but there are legitimate reasons for doing this even if you are not that bad off.
Each detox stint usually gets worse, and the more times you start and stop, the worse the withdrawals will get. A tapered detox will prevent this phenomenon.
Many doctors will prescribe an outpatient regimen if you don't want to do inpatient. The procedure is pretty standardized, and it usually takes about four days.
The first 90 days after the detox will probably be the most difficult, as there can be lingering depression, insomnia, and cravings for a while, but it does pass.
BBM, very well put.
Humble thanks
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 401
Originally Posted by exodus3122
Just go to AA and all your problems will disappear.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by exodus3122
Just go to AA and all your problems will disappear.
Originally Posted by mercurial me
While I'm sure your intentions are good I must humbly disagree with that statement. I'm not dogging AA as it has helped so many people. However, there are a few of us around that have found AA to be more detrimental than helpful.
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