A new beginning
lillyknitting
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
A new beginning
Hi everyone, I would be most grateful for your help and suggestions. After a particularly nasty "falling off of the wagon" on Friday night I am totally and utterly fed up with myself. I'm still in AA and, believe it or not, going through the steps, fat lot of good thats done for me. Anyways, I have now booked myself in to one of Allen Carr's clinics for stopping alcohol. I feel this is my last chance of success to stop drinking altogether, forever, amen. I know all the answers, I know all the reasons why alcohol is a poison, totally bad for us, and all the devastation that it brings and to be honest I actually HATE alcohol for the negative effectis it has done to me and I actualy LOVE my sobriety and every day say thank you God for keeping me sober for today but for me its STAYING STOPPED. I hope and pray that this will work for me. Help!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
A New Beginning
Welcome...lillyknitting
I had a hard time in early sobriety, especially when they talked about "powerlessness" and how alcoholics can in no way control their drinking. I guess that made sense, except for the moderation part. Why can't I have a drink from time to time? Is that too much to ask? That's how I shared in meetings, back when, before my many relapses and those words that summed up my feelings -at the time- was the denial based rationale I used to justify my drinking. That's why the doors of AA swing both ways; and until I grasped the concept of "powerlessness", I would continue to be a revolving door member of this fellowship for many years to follow.
I had more attempts at getting sober -back when- than most people my age with similar results. I could never get past the first step. There were no doubts about my drinking and how unmanageable my life had become. There were lurking suspicions, however, to the extent of my drinking and whether I crossed that line into active alcoholism or not. That question was answered many years later as I found myself reaching out for the bottle more and more- to quell my anxieties, instead of the much needed support that was available to me through my family and friends. This was my dropping off point and where -I felt- my disease had to go before I accepted help.
My disease had to go through the rigors of denial and withdrawal before there was any hope of recovery. The timing of my meltdown was crucial and by the 'Grace of God' became the springboard to my recovery that has stood the test of time for 9+ years now. When I get hungry, angry, lonely or tired and feel there is no way out of my situation other than picking up a drink, I begin to reflect -once again- on what life was like before sobriety and what life is like now; then somehow, someway, the thought of that drink fades from my memory as the prospect of a better life in sobriety- becomes apparently clear -once again. Thanks be to God.......
Keep hoping, Keep praying and keep believing in miracles until you become one yourself.
I had a hard time in early sobriety, especially when they talked about "powerlessness" and how alcoholics can in no way control their drinking. I guess that made sense, except for the moderation part. Why can't I have a drink from time to time? Is that too much to ask? That's how I shared in meetings, back when, before my many relapses and those words that summed up my feelings -at the time- was the denial based rationale I used to justify my drinking. That's why the doors of AA swing both ways; and until I grasped the concept of "powerlessness", I would continue to be a revolving door member of this fellowship for many years to follow.
I had more attempts at getting sober -back when- than most people my age with similar results. I could never get past the first step. There were no doubts about my drinking and how unmanageable my life had become. There were lurking suspicions, however, to the extent of my drinking and whether I crossed that line into active alcoholism or not. That question was answered many years later as I found myself reaching out for the bottle more and more- to quell my anxieties, instead of the much needed support that was available to me through my family and friends. This was my dropping off point and where -I felt- my disease had to go before I accepted help.
My disease had to go through the rigors of denial and withdrawal before there was any hope of recovery. The timing of my meltdown was crucial and by the 'Grace of God' became the springboard to my recovery that has stood the test of time for 9+ years now. When I get hungry, angry, lonely or tired and feel there is no way out of my situation other than picking up a drink, I begin to reflect -once again- on what life was like before sobriety and what life is like now; then somehow, someway, the thought of that drink fades from my memory as the prospect of a better life in sobriety- becomes apparently clear -once again. Thanks be to God.......
Keep hoping, Keep praying and keep believing in miracles until you become one yourself.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Wishing you all the best lasting sobriety brings..
Never been to a clinic of any kind.
Took me 5 years to earn a 1 year AA medallion.
I did return to drinking....as you can see....new beginnings are part of my drinking history
Last week I was presented a current one with 22 years.
I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink.
Never been to a clinic of any kind.
Took me 5 years to earn a 1 year AA medallion.
I did return to drinking....as you can see....new beginnings are part of my drinking history
Last week I was presented a current one with 22 years.
I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink.
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