Time to start posting...i'm ready!
former walking pharmacy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Watertown, CT
Posts: 146
Time to start posting...i'm ready!
(I apologize in advance if this is long/rambly. I have never had a chance or the courage to share my story with anyone.)
Hi everyone.
My name is Mike and i'm an alcoholic and a drug addict. I'm 23 years old. I've been dealing with addiction/alcoholism since I was about 18 or 19, but looking back I can see the patterns were there from about 14.
I started smoking weed around that time, and it was just a social thing throughout high school (though my junior/senior year it started to become a daily thing). I stayed away from alcohol (for the most part) because of a passion for bodybuilding/fitness/nutrition. I experimented with some other drugs (cocaine, a couple hallucinogens, some pills), but never had any serious habits.
Then I graduated HS, and moved down to North Carolina (i'm from Connecticut) with my mother. Here, I met two older guys who I became very good friends with who 'taught' me to drink. This is where my alcoholism really kicked off. I stayed in NC for 3 years, and those three years were just a downward spiral of less and less ambition and more and more drugs and booze. I would go on amphetamine binges and then drink myself into a coma on the comedown, pop painkillers like there was no tomorrow, snort cocaine on the weekends, all the while smoking copious amounts of weed. I was drinking at work, drinking in the mornings...I just didn't give a ****. I was working as a trainer at Gold's Gym and remember popping ecstacy tablets before going in to train a client. Yeah...it was insanity.
Finally, with my life in shambles, I moved back to CT (my mother had moved back 2 years prior), and was drunk the very first day. And the day after. And the day after...etc. I was barely working, constantly hungover, and pretty confused as to why I felt like **** all the time. I had already begun to admit that I was a drug addict (wasn't so sure about the alcoholic part) and finally admitted to my mother that I was indeed an addict (she obviously already knew). When I turned 21 my drinking REALLY picked up; I would drink 40s before class and run out during break to drink more. I was drunk every day (typically 8-12 drinks/night; my choice was beer or malt liquor), attending classes part time, and pretty f*cking miserable. This is when I gave my first shot at NA/AA. I went to a couple meetings then stopped (looking back I don't think I wanted to). I picked up the AA/NA literature and have the books practically memorized; i've spent years researching as much information as I could about addiction, and am now VERY comfortable admitting that I am indeed a drug addict and an alcoholic.
So here I am at 23, and in my second semester at UCONN as a chemistry major. I only got 7 credits last semester and will only get 6 this semester due to constant weed smoking and too much booze, so i'm pretty damn sick of it. The past week i've made 5 meetings in 5 days with a close friend of mine (who is an addict). The past 20 days or so have seen me more sober than I've been in years, and i'm grateful for it. This site has helped me immensely, as have the meetings.
After being sober for 13 days or so I had a couple cocktails Friday night (really for no reason other than boredom) and smoked some bongs. No big deal. Of course, we all know how addiction works....last night I picked up a 12 pack of budweiser and took it all down. So here I am, Easter morning (thankfully not really hungover), sitting in the dining hall and writing this. It feels really good to share this. Normally I would have wallowed in my own self pity and probably tried to find any chemical I could (since liquor stores are closed today), but the time has come to take ACTION so instead i'm posting on this website. I'm going to try to find a meeting today (there are tons on campus), and get some schoolwork done.
I guess i've realized that i'm literally smoking and drinking my potential out the window; there is NO WAY I will graduate with a degree in chemistry if I keep this up. I can hardly remember anything (though my mind is already getting clearer), and my ability to do math has become laughable. I know there is an incredible amount of support out there (and here!), and I know that I can do this!
Thanks for listening...I hope you all have a great Easter!!
-Mike
Hi everyone.
My name is Mike and i'm an alcoholic and a drug addict. I'm 23 years old. I've been dealing with addiction/alcoholism since I was about 18 or 19, but looking back I can see the patterns were there from about 14.
I started smoking weed around that time, and it was just a social thing throughout high school (though my junior/senior year it started to become a daily thing). I stayed away from alcohol (for the most part) because of a passion for bodybuilding/fitness/nutrition. I experimented with some other drugs (cocaine, a couple hallucinogens, some pills), but never had any serious habits.
Then I graduated HS, and moved down to North Carolina (i'm from Connecticut) with my mother. Here, I met two older guys who I became very good friends with who 'taught' me to drink. This is where my alcoholism really kicked off. I stayed in NC for 3 years, and those three years were just a downward spiral of less and less ambition and more and more drugs and booze. I would go on amphetamine binges and then drink myself into a coma on the comedown, pop painkillers like there was no tomorrow, snort cocaine on the weekends, all the while smoking copious amounts of weed. I was drinking at work, drinking in the mornings...I just didn't give a ****. I was working as a trainer at Gold's Gym and remember popping ecstacy tablets before going in to train a client. Yeah...it was insanity.
Finally, with my life in shambles, I moved back to CT (my mother had moved back 2 years prior), and was drunk the very first day. And the day after. And the day after...etc. I was barely working, constantly hungover, and pretty confused as to why I felt like **** all the time. I had already begun to admit that I was a drug addict (wasn't so sure about the alcoholic part) and finally admitted to my mother that I was indeed an addict (she obviously already knew). When I turned 21 my drinking REALLY picked up; I would drink 40s before class and run out during break to drink more. I was drunk every day (typically 8-12 drinks/night; my choice was beer or malt liquor), attending classes part time, and pretty f*cking miserable. This is when I gave my first shot at NA/AA. I went to a couple meetings then stopped (looking back I don't think I wanted to). I picked up the AA/NA literature and have the books practically memorized; i've spent years researching as much information as I could about addiction, and am now VERY comfortable admitting that I am indeed a drug addict and an alcoholic.
So here I am at 23, and in my second semester at UCONN as a chemistry major. I only got 7 credits last semester and will only get 6 this semester due to constant weed smoking and too much booze, so i'm pretty damn sick of it. The past week i've made 5 meetings in 5 days with a close friend of mine (who is an addict). The past 20 days or so have seen me more sober than I've been in years, and i'm grateful for it. This site has helped me immensely, as have the meetings.
After being sober for 13 days or so I had a couple cocktails Friday night (really for no reason other than boredom) and smoked some bongs. No big deal. Of course, we all know how addiction works....last night I picked up a 12 pack of budweiser and took it all down. So here I am, Easter morning (thankfully not really hungover), sitting in the dining hall and writing this. It feels really good to share this. Normally I would have wallowed in my own self pity and probably tried to find any chemical I could (since liquor stores are closed today), but the time has come to take ACTION so instead i'm posting on this website. I'm going to try to find a meeting today (there are tons on campus), and get some schoolwork done.
I guess i've realized that i'm literally smoking and drinking my potential out the window; there is NO WAY I will graduate with a degree in chemistry if I keep this up. I can hardly remember anything (though my mind is already getting clearer), and my ability to do math has become laughable. I know there is an incredible amount of support out there (and here!), and I know that I can do this!
Thanks for listening...I hope you all have a great Easter!!
-Mike
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Re:Time to start posting...i'm ready!
Thank you for sharing...welcome.
I hated those foggy pastures too. I'm glad my mental faculties have returned -thank God. We wish you many more memorable yet sober moments...one day at a time.
~God bless~
I hated those foggy pastures too. I'm glad my mental faculties have returned -thank God. We wish you many more memorable yet sober moments...one day at a time.
~God bless~
DOS: 11/6/10
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
Hi, Image, welcome to SR!!! We're glad you're here. My drinking past is similar to yours in that I too was pretty sure I could "just have one", or moderate... through several "experiments" I did find out that alcohol is a no-go for me period. Stick around- - these forums always help me when I spend time here.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you're ready to take some action and get your life back.
It's great that you're going to meetings and have a supportive friend. Just keep taking it one day at a time and remember that each day sober adds up to a better life.
Welcome back and keep hanging in there!
It's great that you're going to meetings and have a supportive friend. Just keep taking it one day at a time and remember that each day sober adds up to a better life.Welcome back and keep hanging in there!
MIND OF DESTRUCTIVE TASTE
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 744
Hi Image - welcome and I am so glad you are here and ready to take the action necessary to find recovery 
Thank you for sharing your story, it helps more than you might realize
Look forward to seeing more from you, we'll be here
-Jess
Thank you for sharing your story, it helps more than you might realize
Look forward to seeing more from you, we'll be here
-Jess
Welcome back
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: yosemite, ca
Posts: 12
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. College for me was where I picked up the drug and alcohol problems, and it prevented me from getting an engineering degree. I did still graduate but with an easier major, and it isnt really paying off now like engineering. Good luck with Chemistry....quitting drugs will improve your life drastically.
former walking pharmacy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Watertown, CT
Posts: 146
Thanks everyone . I spent an hour of my afternoon watching 'Rain in my Heart.' If you haven't seen it I HIGHLY recommend it; talk about heart wrenching! I can't understand why they don't just show that in D.A.R.E classes 
. I spent an hour of my afternoon watching 'Rain in my Heart.' If you haven't seen it I HIGHLY recommend it; talk about heart wrenching! I can't understand why they don't just show that in D.A.R.E classes Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Yes...Rain in my heart is very well done
glad you looked at it...
Here is a informational site you might find interesting
The Science of Addiction - Drugs of Abuse/Related Topics - NIDA
and another
Alcohol Chemistry and You
glad you looked at it...
Here is a informational site you might find interesting
The Science of Addiction - Drugs of Abuse/Related Topics - NIDA
and another
Alcohol Chemistry and You
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