UniqueNewYork

They are behaving abusively towards me. I am being osctracized and made to feel worthless over other people's mistakes. People who have been kind and joking with me in the past are withdrawing to avoid being hit by the explosion. I see no respite in site. I only see more torment. The people who dont like me are uniting others against me.

Have you been here? Did it get better? Did you quit and it got better?

I don't see these people letting up.

tooling

Look for another job.

Coolmummy

I can relate to you so much. I LOVED my job, I was very good at it and I had huge respect from my staff and the people I worked with ( people with mental health issues) - sadly, my boss disliked me - he made it very clear he was trying to get rid of me, first by using underhand methods then by making it very obvious - so many things, but done very 'cleverly'. It got to a point where I simply could not take anymore. I walked in one day, resigned on the spot and said I would be taking legal action. Long story short, his bosses realised what he had been doing, offered me a settlement to 'stay quiet' - unfortunately due to financial constraints I had to accept, although I would have loved to have dragged them through a court case but the next week I quit drinking and I am happier than I ever was. It takes courage but there is no amount of money that is worth your physical or mental health. Good Luck.

Fandy

from a practical point of view,can you affordto just quit? I'm sorry you are being bullied. can you transfer to a different area?

maybe it would be better to line up a replacement job first?

I once shared an office with a terrible nasty person, i stuck it out as the business manager realised what was going on and they moved me into a very nice private office....i have a wonderful boss(doctor) that appreciates my work, and this action in my favor made me so appreciative, i work even better/harder....

it also P.O'd nasty person into a huge upset that i got a great new office...so that was kind of a bonus. I just quietly let people in authority know what was happening and how it affected my work.

LexieCat

Been there, it sucks.

My particular job was way too important to me to quit. I wound up being transferred (not at my request), and I got torpedoed by my old boss (to some extent) in terms of my being "labeled," which did affect future opportunities. Some of it was me, but a lot of it was the people (including former boss).

It really depends on the whole situation. If I weren't retiring this year, I think I would eventually ride out the past problems. I don't think I would quit. But it's your life and career, and only you can say how bad it really is. Some situations are actually unhealthy.

Others, though, while uncomfortable and unpleasant for awhile, can actually be opportunities to grow and mature. No job is perfect, and you will find difficult and unpleasant people everywhere. Learning to deal with them is a skill, and an opportunity to practice dealing with life on life's terms.

OklaBH

Im glad you posted this. I am in the same boat. Wednesday my boss gave me a list of 15 things she doesnt ike about me; not so much about my job performance but about me as a person. Im in school right now. In 2 or 3 months I will be finished. I really hope I can hang on that long. Sadly...if your boss wants you gone they will find a way.

OklaBH

Is there a human resource department you can talk to? Im screwed as far as that goes. My boss is besties with the owner

Coolmummy

I had a similar situation - my boss was so tight with the upper management but I gave them a list, which I'd kept for months outlining every single thing that had been done to belittle, bully and upset me. They coldn't really argue with that but still chose to allow me to go than deal with the problem. Still, I'm happy in the knowledge that he would have been chastised, even though he kept his job and i was forced out of mine..

Rift

There was a time I just quit my job out of being totally miserable about 3 years ago. I quit without having a job lined up and I kind of ended up regretting it b/c I was unemployed for a LONG LONG time after quitting. Mentally I'm not sure if it was the best thing to do b/c I was actually more miserable being unemployed and I drank tremendously during that time.

So, I would suggest staying with the job until you can find ANYTHING else, even if it's a temporary job. Then while you have a crappy temp job you can continue to find the RIGHT job for you.

Wish you all the best.

thisisme

My father told me when I was young to find something you love to do then find someone who will pay you to do it.
Gold.
It's no longer a job for me but a career. I go home and do the exact same thing that I do at work.
Good luck in your search.

MsCooterBrown

Hi UNY...I have always went with stick it out until you find another job. BUT I need that security. I guess the main worry is months of unemployment before you land something different. That would kick me into panic mode. But who knows your situation..perhaps you have some stash in the bank that would hold you over..I put the majority of stash into my 401k and the IRS would penalize the heck out of me for early withdrawal..not near retirement age. I know one thing tho..I haven't clicked on you to look back but I do know you have not been happy in quite awhile in this job. Time to look for a change that is for sure!

SASA

This happened to me before, I was so unhappy and treated really badly. It was a men environment and they kept me as the quota woman. Before me 3 had quit there job (I did not know that when they hired me). It was a hard time and I kept drinking to dull my feelings. Then one day I found my energy and started applying, within 6 month I got a new job and resigned. I was done with them. Now I am really happy in my job and people are actually nice to me. Of course there are some days that suck, but you have them everywhere. So I would just sent out applications until you find something and stick it out....

Rift

Then again, I don't know how miserable it is for you. If it the situation has gotten unbearable and you absolutely hate waking up in the morning then I would say good riddance. It's not worth losing sleep over or feeling bad mentally/emotionally. The economy seems to be looking up so maybe it won't be too difficult to find a new job. I say go for it.

My job got so bad that I was drinking just about every night after work and going to work feeling like hell and it just turned into a bad work situation. I quit after a year of being there.

MrDavid

Sorry...to hear about your troubles.

Unfortunately, I have. People do make mistakes, it's called being human. I can overlook people's discrepancies from time to time, especially if we're overworked and tired. There is a difference, however, between making mistakes and owning up to them. When people make mistakes, which they do on occasion, we should try to resolve the matter in any way possible without blaming any particular person involved. When people try to cover up their mistakes, however, by pointing the finger of blame elsewhere, like at me, then it is no longer a question of "whom" or "why" but rather a call for action.

I always state my position from a well thought out and intelligent perspective, which usually calls out for a review of incident in question and how we can avoid making the same mistakes again. If my feedback is not appreciated, discredited or simply ignored, at any time during the conversation, than I have an option to seek out employment, elsewhere, if I so choose. This would be my last option, however, even though it's worth pursuing. I have choices today and one of those include where "I choose to work" -bottom line. I hope you resolve the issue quickly, so it doesn't end up costing you more than just a paycheck.



~God bless~

ClosetExtrovert

Sounds like you've decided and that's a good thing. I would suggest you Find a replacement job first. You'll be proud of yourself for sticking it out and it's easier to get a job while you're still employed. JMO, but it's what I did, and now I kind of giggle at how crazy the place was. And I was not sober back then.

reggiewayne

Hi UniquNewYork. Are you sure you're perceiving this correctly? I know my alcoholic mind has a way of thinking the entire world is out to get me. In times like these I try VERY HARD to get out of myself.

Work is simply a vehicle that gives me money so I can be in recovery and be good to my family. I find it helpful to not try and equate my happiness / success at work with my happiness / success in recovery and life.

It may be that what you are feeling is actually true, but it may be that it is not. I would suggest really trying to get to a serene place this weekend. Remember, there was a time when we would have worked the worst job in the world if it meant not having to live in the misery that active alcoholism provides.

At times like this I try and be grateful and make decision with my priorities in tact. I just don't always see things for how they truly are. I would pray about this and discuss it with people in recovery. If after thorough examinitation you feel that quitting would be in your best interest and support your recovery, then by all mean do it. But just take your time and try and make the decision from the right place.

Remember, without recovery the job isn't even possible.

I wish you the best!!!