Just found out a fellow drunk I knew passed away...
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Overseas... on the shore of an uncharted desert isle.
Posts: 254
Just found out a fellow drunk I knew passed away...
Earlier this week, I heard some bad news about a guy I knew. More of an acquaintance than a friend. On May 1st 2009, he was found dead in an alleyway outside his apartment from either excessive drinking and/or exposure. Not sure of the exact details, just the date of his death. He was 32. R.I.P.
We met through a mutual friend who thought I could give him some advice on getting a new job - we had similar backgrounds etc. It turned out I was in town and we met up for drinks around July 2008 (when I was still drinking too). He had recently gone through a divorce, lost custody of his kid, and through my friend heard he had a few issues with his co-workers at his new job in a new city. Coming in hungover did not help. I paid for the drinks that night. I recall he drank faster than I did - and he seemed to have a lot on his mind; consciously or unconsciously .. I don't know which -- I held back from drinking too much that night.
I went over my emails and reading them over, I realized I was already thinking about the problems associated with over-drinking.
He wrote afterward:
In part, I wrote back:
And, then about eight months later (February 2009), I quit drinking for good.
We kept in touch by phone and the occasional email. Then they dropped off and I never heard from him again.
Going through the emails, I was surprised to see how I was already contemplating the burden of booze.
I also wonder whether things might have been different for him had we met after I had made the decision to quit alcohol altogether.
We met through a mutual friend who thought I could give him some advice on getting a new job - we had similar backgrounds etc. It turned out I was in town and we met up for drinks around July 2008 (when I was still drinking too). He had recently gone through a divorce, lost custody of his kid, and through my friend heard he had a few issues with his co-workers at his new job in a new city. Coming in hungover did not help. I paid for the drinks that night. I recall he drank faster than I did - and he seemed to have a lot on his mind; consciously or unconsciously .. I don't know which -- I held back from drinking too much that night.
I went over my emails and reading them over, I realized I was already thinking about the problems associated with over-drinking.
He wrote afterward:
... I need to flush the system; i've gone from one hangover to another. I don't even recall coming home last night....
....And I'd be remiss if I left out the nugget that will probably lead to a few more years of good or at least moderately good health: pour more beers than you drink. ok, i've gotta prepare for work. i have the feeling that it's going to be another night out, drinks with my boss have become a regular feature of the job....
....And I'd be remiss if I left out the nugget that will probably lead to a few more years of good or at least moderately good health: pour more beers than you drink. ok, i've gotta prepare for work. i have the feeling that it's going to be another night out, drinks with my boss have become a regular feature of the job....
Excessive drinking in a place like [redacted] - based on my experience - generally leads to increased poverty, poorer health and a general state of malaise. I would strongly urge you to cut it out of your life for the time being - go cold turkey if you need to. Replace the urge to drink with exercise. It will be a better allocation of funds and will get rid of the stress and other demons affecting you more effectively.
We kept in touch by phone and the occasional email. Then they dropped off and I never heard from him again.
Going through the emails, I was surprised to see how I was already contemplating the burden of booze.
I also wonder whether things might have been different for him had we met after I had made the decision to quit alcohol altogether.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Sorry to hear this, north, and he was so young.
another casualty of this tragic disease.....
Thanks for posting. None of us ever thinks it could happen to "us" yet many people lose their lives every day.
another casualty of this tragic disease.....
Thanks for posting. None of us ever thinks it could happen to "us" yet many people lose their lives every day.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
I'm really sorry, North, that you are going through this. I find it very hard to think about people from my past who are suffering. . . to experience a death would be harrowing. Again, I'm really sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts.
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