Time - Not Enough!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Time - Not Enough!
I need advice: I am having trouble fitting in everything I need to do in a day. I have a pretty demanding job, and I typically work 9-11 hours per day. An important part of staying motivated to maintain sobriety is exercise, so I try to get to the gym or outside for 45-60 minutes each day.
Yesterday, I had planned on attending a meeting at 8pm. I left work at 6:15, got to the gym shortly thereafter, did 40 minutes on the treadmill then got home about 7:30. After unloading my purse, lunchbag and gymbag, it was time to leave for the meeting. I was exhausted. So I didn't go. I am glad physically that I didn't go, because I was able to make my lunch for today, wind down by reading and spend some time with my husband. I should be able to get to a meeting on Thursday, and definitely can on Friday and Saturday.
Next week will be less crazy at work, so I know it won't be difficult to work only 9 hours and make the Tuesday and Thursday 8pm meetings.
What I am wondering is what do other people do? In the past, I have gotten flack from other AAers who say that I am not going to enough meetings and I am on a slippery slope by working so much, etc. What to do?
Yesterday, I had planned on attending a meeting at 8pm. I left work at 6:15, got to the gym shortly thereafter, did 40 minutes on the treadmill then got home about 7:30. After unloading my purse, lunchbag and gymbag, it was time to leave for the meeting. I was exhausted. So I didn't go. I am glad physically that I didn't go, because I was able to make my lunch for today, wind down by reading and spend some time with my husband. I should be able to get to a meeting on Thursday, and definitely can on Friday and Saturday.
Next week will be less crazy at work, so I know it won't be difficult to work only 9 hours and make the Tuesday and Thursday 8pm meetings.
What I am wondering is what do other people do? In the past, I have gotten flack from other AAers who say that I am not going to enough meetings and I am on a slippery slope by working so much, etc. What to do?
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Please discuss this with your sponsor. If you do not have a sponsor, now would be an EXCELLENT time to get one.
The 'meetings' are not the program of AA, they are the 'fellowship' of AA.
Meetings can be great, until they become a 'chore.' So discussion with your sponsor on the subject of 'keeping your life in balance' will help you a lot.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
The 'meetings' are not the program of AA, they are the 'fellowship' of AA.
Meetings can be great, until they become a 'chore.' So discussion with your sponsor on the subject of 'keeping your life in balance' will help you a lot.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 638
Well I would personally not worry too much about it. The way I seen it is you worked all day long then worked out. To me that is a productive day and hit the meetings when you can. I'm reading your post and can relate in a lots of ways. I work all day , go to school at night and have physically demanding hobbies. My attitude in life is every morning I say “what can I do to better myself today?” Some days that means going to a meeting, others it means working out physically. Just as long as I work on myself in some form every day. Sure my fellow AA’ers and sponsor can suggest to go to more meetings but that doesn’t mean it’s what you have to do. Sunday I went did my fifth step and Monday I went to a meeting. The rest of the week I will be working fulltime, going to night school and working out.
Amway’s life is about balance and if you were doing nothing all day and missing meetings I would be concerned but it sounds like there are only so many hours in the day and you are doing as much as you can.
Amway’s life is about balance and if you were doing nothing all day and missing meetings I would be concerned but it sounds like there are only so many hours in the day and you are doing as much as you can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
@ Laurie, No I do not yet have a sponsor. I do have a woman that I connected with in the group that I found and feel comfortable in, and she and I discussed finding a sponsor for me. So I'll make that a priority for this weekend.
Really good advice, guys, and thanks so much! I feel better now about what I did and did not do yesterday. Top priority is that I didn't drink!
Really good advice, guys, and thanks so much! I feel better now about what I did and did not do yesterday. Top priority is that I didn't drink!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 411
I don't have a good answer but just wanted to say that I sympathize.
I'm a lawyer and work a lot, plus I have to commute about 90 minutes total each day. My first sponsor worked a union job at a grocery store a few minutes from her home, so she was predictably "off" at a certain hour each day and didn't understand that when you are in my sort of profession, and something needs to get done that day, you stay late to do it. Period. She was always giving me flack about not going to enough meetings, even though I made it to at least 4 per week. She also didn't exercise, and didn't appreciate that daily workouts were KEY to managing my anxiety, which had triggered relapses in the past. From personal experience, I found that missing a workout was more dangerous to my sobriety than missing a meeting.
Personally, I really enjoy meetings and catching up with my sober friends afterward, so it isn't a matter of motivation -- there just isn't always enough time in a day. Some people just have very different lifestyles and can't really appreciate what that's like. Don't let them get you down.
On days when I can't get to a meeting, I try to listen to speaker tapes during my commute (available for free online, such as XA-Speakers - The lights are on!) or at least call a sober friend and catch up, so I get some recovery boosts into my day.
GG
I'm a lawyer and work a lot, plus I have to commute about 90 minutes total each day. My first sponsor worked a union job at a grocery store a few minutes from her home, so she was predictably "off" at a certain hour each day and didn't understand that when you are in my sort of profession, and something needs to get done that day, you stay late to do it. Period. She was always giving me flack about not going to enough meetings, even though I made it to at least 4 per week. She also didn't exercise, and didn't appreciate that daily workouts were KEY to managing my anxiety, which had triggered relapses in the past. From personal experience, I found that missing a workout was more dangerous to my sobriety than missing a meeting.
Personally, I really enjoy meetings and catching up with my sober friends afterward, so it isn't a matter of motivation -- there just isn't always enough time in a day. Some people just have very different lifestyles and can't really appreciate what that's like. Don't let them get you down.
On days when I can't get to a meeting, I try to listen to speaker tapes during my commute (available for free online, such as XA-Speakers - The lights are on!) or at least call a sober friend and catch up, so I get some recovery boosts into my day.
GG
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
TwelveSteps, I am so grateful for your post! I am also a lawyer, so hearing your experience is quite helpful. My first attempt at sobriety was while I had about the same commute as you, and my sponsor at the time was similar to how you describe your first sponsor. I felt like "why bother, what I do isn't good enough?" and ended up going back out after a few months.
Anxiety is a major trigger for me as well, and exercise is critical in managing that and my depression tendencies.
I feel a lot better, and am so glad I used this forum to reach out and seek advice!
Anxiety is a major trigger for me as well, and exercise is critical in managing that and my depression tendencies.
I feel a lot better, and am so glad I used this forum to reach out and seek advice!
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by lilac0721 
...What I am wondering is what do other people do? In the past, I have gotten flack from other AAers who say that I am not going to enough meetings and I am on a slippery slope by working so much, etc. What to do?
I make sure I work my daily program every day (come hell or high water).
I make sure I try to carry a message to another alcoholic every 48 hours even if it is just by phone or internet.
I make sure I get to a meeting frequently enough to maintain my friendships (3 - 4 times a week works for me).
If health or work interferes with my regime, I make it up ASAP. One of the few slogans I agree with is:
"Those things we place ahead of recovery is what we will lose without it".
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
This may or may not fit in your busy life ..but ..
my first home group met at 7 a.m. on weekdays
I went before work....
.
I really think it made my work run smoother
as I was AA centered.
Some groups meet at noon...members bring their luch and atend.
All my best as you move forward
my first home group met at 7 a.m. on weekdays
I went before work....
.I really think it made my work run smoother
as I was AA centered.
Some groups meet at noon...members bring their luch and atend.
All my best as you move forward
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
There was an early-morning group where i used to live...alas, none here. There is a noon group, so it is a great option on those rare days that I actually am able to leave the office for lunch. (Yes, I generally work through lunch, like today)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY
Posts: 618
Reaching out is key.
Reaching out instead of venturing out is what's important. . You took advantage of an opportunity and did so by whatever means possible, and for that you should be commended. You accomplished this by reaching out -via this forum- and did so without picking up a drink, a choice that has and will continue to benefit you over time.
Great Job...............
What we have here is a serious lack of communication...so we thought.
Great Job...............
What we have here is a serious lack of communication...so we thought.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 139
Originally Posted by TwelveSteps
I don't have a good answer but just wanted to say that I sympathize.
I'm a lawyer and work a lot, plus I have to commute about 90 minutes total each day. My first sponsor worked a union job at a grocery store a few minutes from her home, so she was predictably "off" at a certain hour each day and didn't understand that when you are in my sort of profession, and something needs to get done that day, you stay late to do it. Period. She was always giving me flack about not going to enough meetings, even though I made it to at least 4 per week. She also didn't exercise, and didn't appreciate that daily workouts were KEY to managing my anxiety, which had triggered relapses in the past. From personal experience, I found that missing a workout was more dangerous to my sobriety than missing a meeting.
GG
I'm a lawyer and work a lot, plus I have to commute about 90 minutes total each day. My first sponsor worked a union job at a grocery store a few minutes from her home, so she was predictably "off" at a certain hour each day and didn't understand that when you are in my sort of profession, and something needs to get done that day, you stay late to do it. Period. She was always giving me flack about not going to enough meetings, even though I made it to at least 4 per week. She also didn't exercise, and didn't appreciate that daily workouts were KEY to managing my anxiety, which had triggered relapses in the past. From personal experience, I found that missing a workout was more dangerous to my sobriety than missing a meeting.
GG
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