When does abuse become alcoholism
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Atlanta,Ga
Posts: 16
When does abuse become alcoholism
Just want to share my experience and get some feed back. I was a binge drinker for about 6 years before I decided to do something about it. I was drinking to the point of being drunk but still functioning 3 or 4 times a week. I knew I had a problem and my drinking was taking it's toll on my marriage. I was battling depression and so miserable and almost suicidal that I checked into a 30 day rehab facility 2 years ago. Following that, I abstained completely for about a year then drank socially up until this past November. Since Nov. 7th, I have gotten drunk (at home, alone where all of my problem drinking has occurred) 4 times. I will be going back to AA meetings as a reminder that I still have a problem and I am continuing to see my therapist. The only thing that baffles me is why con I drink w/o any problem 9 out of 10 times then drink uncontrollably at home that next time? If the definition of an alcoholic is a person where alcohol has habitually had negative consequences for them, then I am definitely an alcoholic. Regardless, I definately have a problem with alcohol. Anybody else have that experience with occasional loss of control but can still say no after 1 or 2 otherwise?
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I can relate to a lot of your post.
Early in my sobriety I was able to drink without impunity the majority of the time. It was only those occasional over indulgences that caused problems in my life. Over the years though, as my disease progressed, the over indulgences started coming more and more frequently. When they would happen to often I would swear off alcohol for a period of time. At least one time that was lasted a year. The problem is that I would always go back to drinking. It would usually start off with a couple drinks here and there. But it always progressed right back into that insanity of over indulgences occurring more and more frequently.
What finally brought me to quitting for what I believe to be for good was I wound up getting a head injury while I was having one of those over indulgences, which had become the norm by then. The injury scared me to the point of reviewing my drinking. I realized that somehow I had gone from the occasional over indulgence to it being the occasional event for me to have only a few drinks. So once again I swore off alcohol. I went 6 months but as always my mind decided since I had quit for so long I still had control over alcohol so I went back to the drink here and there. That lasted only one month because what I realized real quick was that I was following my pattern and heading right back into over indulging. I started with one drink, then the next time decided I could handle two. Then it was hard not to justify three and so on.
When I came to the realization that I was heading back down the path of insanity I knew I needed help. I realized I could not stop drinking on my own. I had no idea how to live life without alcohol and knew I could no longer live with it. I had decided that if I could not find a way to live without alcohol that suicide was my only option. That is when I found AA. I guess my knowing beyond a doubt that alcohol was not something I could control helped guide me through the Steps and really apply everything I could to working the program of AA. In March I will have ten years of sobriety.
I don't know if you will find anything in my novel I have written here. Sorry it is so long. Take care. I wish you the best in all you do.
Early in my sobriety I was able to drink without impunity the majority of the time. It was only those occasional over indulgences that caused problems in my life. Over the years though, as my disease progressed, the over indulgences started coming more and more frequently. When they would happen to often I would swear off alcohol for a period of time. At least one time that was lasted a year. The problem is that I would always go back to drinking. It would usually start off with a couple drinks here and there. But it always progressed right back into that insanity of over indulgences occurring more and more frequently.
What finally brought me to quitting for what I believe to be for good was I wound up getting a head injury while I was having one of those over indulgences, which had become the norm by then. The injury scared me to the point of reviewing my drinking. I realized that somehow I had gone from the occasional over indulgence to it being the occasional event for me to have only a few drinks. So once again I swore off alcohol. I went 6 months but as always my mind decided since I had quit for so long I still had control over alcohol so I went back to the drink here and there. That lasted only one month because what I realized real quick was that I was following my pattern and heading right back into over indulging. I started with one drink, then the next time decided I could handle two. Then it was hard not to justify three and so on.
When I came to the realization that I was heading back down the path of insanity I knew I needed help. I realized I could not stop drinking on my own. I had no idea how to live life without alcohol and knew I could no longer live with it. I had decided that if I could not find a way to live without alcohol that suicide was my only option. That is when I found AA. I guess my knowing beyond a doubt that alcohol was not something I could control helped guide me through the Steps and really apply everything I could to working the program of AA. In March I will have ten years of sobriety.
I don't know if you will find anything in my novel I have written here. Sorry it is so long. Take care. I wish you the best in all you do.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Malti, your drinking sounds somewhat similar to mine. I could have just a couple of drinks in social situations and be fine-- then on Friday and/or Saturday night home alone I'd drink myself to oblivion. I don't fit the standard of "alcoholic" in many ways but in many other ways I do fit, I can't drink like someone w/o an alcohol problem and by finally accepting that I completely stopped drinking and got my life back.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I never knew which drink on what day slid me into alcoholism.
I don't think it's important to pin point a date..
except my date of sobriety....
The final 5 years of my drinking....I was often suicidal ...depressed daily.
My doctor diagnosed me with situational depression...and sggested AA.
By re-connecting to God ...and living in the Steps ...I'm a recovered alcoholic.
All my best as you move into solid sobriety ...
I don't think it's important to pin point a date..
except my date of sobriety....
The final 5 years of my drinking....I was often suicidal ...depressed daily.
My doctor diagnosed me with situational depression...and sggested AA.
By re-connecting to God ...and living in the Steps ...I'm a recovered alcoholic.
All my best as you move into solid sobriety ...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
My story is similar to yours except I continued on until the madness came back stronger and harder. I too was a binge drinker when I was younger. I was able to keep my life together (for the most part) and just get hammered twice per week. Then as I got older the "keeping it together" thing gave way to the "being an alcoholic" thing and I lost all control. I still went to work and tried to participate in my family, but looking back I was "self-will run riot"...
I made a decision to change 40 days ago and it's been great. I have had some very hard days but have not drank. I've stayed active in recovery every day since quitting. I read the big book, participate on this site, work the steps of AA, and work with my sponsor. I don't always feel like doing these things but I have tried to force my actions and have seen positive resluts - mainly: I don't obsess about drinking.
Best of luck to you. I can honestly say my life not drinking is sooooo much better than my life consumed by it!
I made a decision to change 40 days ago and it's been great. I have had some very hard days but have not drank. I've stayed active in recovery every day since quitting. I read the big book, participate on this site, work the steps of AA, and work with my sponsor. I don't always feel like doing these things but I have tried to force my actions and have seen positive resluts - mainly: I don't obsess about drinking.
Best of luck to you. I can honestly say my life not drinking is sooooo much better than my life consumed by it!
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hi Malti,
I drank every evening and usually quite a bit,
HOWEVER, if a situation called for it, I was pretty good at forcing myself to have just one or two -- but I would usually be cranky about having to limit myself and be irritated the entire evening.
Like you, I would also sometimes plan to have just one or two but go off the rails and binge without any warning (or seeming cause).
I believe that, labels aside, this means I don't respond to alcohol in a normal way. After many attempts to moderate, I decided to quit completely, and it has been a really good decision for me. There are a lot of people here like you and me -- welcome!
I drank every evening and usually quite a bit,
HOWEVER, if a situation called for it, I was pretty good at forcing myself to have just one or two -- but I would usually be cranky about having to limit myself and be irritated the entire evening.
Like you, I would also sometimes plan to have just one or two but go off the rails and binge without any warning (or seeming cause).
I believe that, labels aside, this means I don't respond to alcohol in a normal way. After many attempts to moderate, I decided to quit completely, and it has been a really good decision for me. There are a lot of people here like you and me -- welcome!
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
I definitely can relate to this story. I would drink normally for 30-45 days and then bam, I would go on an all out binge. It was rather ludicrous at the time, I just couldn't understand it. Around the 30 day mark I would start to get anxious, like it hasn't happened yet, maybe it will be okay this time.
But I realize what was going on, now that I think about it. I would be drinking and the alcohol wasn't giving me the feeling that I wanted it to. Drink after drink and I would say, "What the hell, I'm still sober"? So I would push it a little further, then a little further, and then I would end up in a black out.
Slowly but surely, the 30-45 day gap became smaller and smaller, and it became of regular event for me to be in a 2-3 day black out binge drinking episode.
But I realize what was going on, now that I think about it. I would be drinking and the alcohol wasn't giving me the feeling that I wanted it to. Drink after drink and I would say, "What the hell, I'm still sober"? So I would push it a little further, then a little further, and then I would end up in a black out.
Slowly but surely, the 30-45 day gap became smaller and smaller, and it became of regular event for me to be in a 2-3 day black out binge drinking episode.
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