I'm not an exception
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NE USA
Posts: 6
I'm not an exception
Hi everyone,
My first post here. Been lurking the forums a lot for the past two days. Trying to come to turns with my drinking problem. Things have just not been going well for me and alcohol is no longer fun. I am really connecting with the idea that moderation does not work for someone who has our problem. While I have occasionally had what I would call "a good week" which basically involves not getting completely trashed for a week I always return to my older patterns of extreme beer intake often for days on end (bender). I can't brush things off as "I like to party" much anymore as there have now been some pretty negative consequences on my life. I recently lost my girlfriend of two years. While I do not believe alcohol was the sole reason it certainly played a large roll in us going our separate ways. All those nights I decided to get tanked instead of soberly connect with her added up, the stupid things I said, the morning where we could have had a nice breakfast together or whatever but I was too hungover to want to leave our home, etc. It hurts because I think about how things would have been different had I been sober and acting "myself". If we split and I knew I had my head together throughout the relationship I feel there would be a lot less "what ifs".
I am trying to make a plan of action for my sobriety. I want to start hitting meetings mainly in the hopes of meeting some like minded sober individuals. I recognize that I can no longer control or moderate my drinking. In some sense I can but it is not for very long. This false sense of the ability to moderate (because I can occasionally can pull off this feat) has been what has kept me from getting totally sober. Through reading here I am realizing more and more about my condition and the fact that I am not an exception.
It is also worth pointing out that throughout my life some of the coolest people I have met were recovered. Not just people who were normal drinkers but people who have been through this and came out on top. I think there is a lot of wisdom in that and this whole process. I now am ready to be one of those people and lead the life I want to live. I am still relatively young (25 going on 26 next month) and feel like I have a lot ahead of me. Things looks bright when I picture a sober future but pretty bleak and hopeless if I do not make a change here. What I have been doing for the last few years, specifically this last year has not been working. Ready to try something new. Thanks.
My first post here. Been lurking the forums a lot for the past two days. Trying to come to turns with my drinking problem. Things have just not been going well for me and alcohol is no longer fun. I am really connecting with the idea that moderation does not work for someone who has our problem. While I have occasionally had what I would call "a good week" which basically involves not getting completely trashed for a week I always return to my older patterns of extreme beer intake often for days on end (bender). I can't brush things off as "I like to party" much anymore as there have now been some pretty negative consequences on my life. I recently lost my girlfriend of two years. While I do not believe alcohol was the sole reason it certainly played a large roll in us going our separate ways. All those nights I decided to get tanked instead of soberly connect with her added up, the stupid things I said, the morning where we could have had a nice breakfast together or whatever but I was too hungover to want to leave our home, etc. It hurts because I think about how things would have been different had I been sober and acting "myself". If we split and I knew I had my head together throughout the relationship I feel there would be a lot less "what ifs".
I am trying to make a plan of action for my sobriety. I want to start hitting meetings mainly in the hopes of meeting some like minded sober individuals. I recognize that I can no longer control or moderate my drinking. In some sense I can but it is not for very long. This false sense of the ability to moderate (because I can occasionally can pull off this feat) has been what has kept me from getting totally sober. Through reading here I am realizing more and more about my condition and the fact that I am not an exception.
It is also worth pointing out that throughout my life some of the coolest people I have met were recovered. Not just people who were normal drinkers but people who have been through this and came out on top. I think there is a lot of wisdom in that and this whole process. I now am ready to be one of those people and lead the life I want to live. I am still relatively young (25 going on 26 next month) and feel like I have a lot ahead of me. Things looks bright when I picture a sober future but pretty bleak and hopeless if I do not make a change here. What I have been doing for the last few years, specifically this last year has not been working. Ready to try something new. Thanks.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
It's great that you recognize, at such a young age, that your inability to moderate your drinking is cause for concern. Wish I had your sense at 25. I went through my 20s never giving a second thought to my alcohol consumption...or my 30s. By my 40s I started to think something was wrong, but could always convince myself that I didn't have to quit drinking...I would just moderate. Yeah, sure. And here I am at 54, 105 days sober, and convinced NOW that I can't moderate.
Welcome to SR.
Welcome to SR.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to the posting side of our recovery community....
I'm so glad you are chooseing a future without alcohol.
congratulations.....
You are correct....AA meetings are full of people willing to
support your new goal...and we can help you find the joy.
I'm so glad you are chooseing a future without alcohol.
congratulations.....
You are correct....AA meetings are full of people willing to
support your new goal...and we can help you find the joy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NE USA
Posts: 6
Thanks everyone.
There is a lot of alcoholism in my family. I watched my sister lose everything. She has been in detox and rehab a few times without getting better. She lost a great high paying job, her husband and her home to alcohol. She now lives with my parents and puts them through hell because she can't stop. She almost died a few times and has crashed her car several times do to driving drunk.
My drinking is just not cool or fun anymore. I am starting to have spouts of extreme depression toward the end of a night of boozing which never really happened before (it was always the next day I'd feel bad, not during the drinking session). Also I am starting to recognize that even if I go a week or more abstaining as soon as the stuff hits my lips again and "the mood strikes" it is all pretty much downhill. It is like a weird light goes off in my brain and my actions and consumption level can become extremely excessive and unpredictable.
It is just a dumb cycle really. My creativity has suffered greatly and I feel like my life is no longer progressing in the way I would like it to. I am not progressing as a person. My work has been affected (try being productive with a hangover), relationships, social standing (embarrassing myself), health (weight gain from beer) and overall mental outlook. Last year around this time I remember thinking about quitting. I had the realization that if I kept doing this for another year things would not get any better. Well here I am a year later and my point has been proven. If I continue I am sure by next year I will be an ever bigger mess.
I have been reading the Big Book and connecting with lots of the stories. I think a big thing for me personally is going to be meeting others who have walked this path so I do not feel so isolated about living a life free of alcohol. I guess that is where meetings come in.
There is a lot of alcoholism in my family. I watched my sister lose everything. She has been in detox and rehab a few times without getting better. She lost a great high paying job, her husband and her home to alcohol. She now lives with my parents and puts them through hell because she can't stop. She almost died a few times and has crashed her car several times do to driving drunk.
My drinking is just not cool or fun anymore. I am starting to have spouts of extreme depression toward the end of a night of boozing which never really happened before (it was always the next day I'd feel bad, not during the drinking session). Also I am starting to recognize that even if I go a week or more abstaining as soon as the stuff hits my lips again and "the mood strikes" it is all pretty much downhill. It is like a weird light goes off in my brain and my actions and consumption level can become extremely excessive and unpredictable.
It is just a dumb cycle really. My creativity has suffered greatly and I feel like my life is no longer progressing in the way I would like it to. I am not progressing as a person. My work has been affected (try being productive with a hangover), relationships, social standing (embarrassing myself), health (weight gain from beer) and overall mental outlook. Last year around this time I remember thinking about quitting. I had the realization that if I kept doing this for another year things would not get any better. Well here I am a year later and my point has been proven. If I continue I am sure by next year I will be an ever bigger mess.
I have been reading the Big Book and connecting with lots of the stories. I think a big thing for me personally is going to be meeting others who have walked this path so I do not feel so isolated about living a life free of alcohol. I guess that is where meetings come in.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
hey..welcome to SR.
just a thought.........if you drink continuous.........or just to be safe..it may well be worth having a chat with the doc.
good decision to hit the meetings........even better decision to get a sponsor and work through the steps imo.
welcome my friend.......names shaun
just a thought.........if you drink continuous.........or just to be safe..it may well be worth having a chat with the doc.
good decision to hit the meetings........even better decision to get a sponsor and work through the steps imo.
welcome my friend.......names shaun
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Yeah, do see a doctor before quitting as going cold turkey from alcohol can be deadly.
Welcome to the family!
Read and post all you like. We're here to support you any way we can. Lots of useful information here too. Read the 'stickies' at the top of the forum page.
If you can get sober at such a young age you won't be making any future regrets or bad memories.
Welcome to the family!
Read and post all you like. We're here to support you any way we can. Lots of useful information here too. Read the 'stickies' at the top of the forum page.If you can get sober at such a young age you won't be making any future regrets or bad memories.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
In my early days....I did a bit of meeting shopping.
I wanted to find a group with members around my age
and single. My social circle needed re-vamping
I did....and we had a blast while staying on track.
We did all sorts of activities ouside of meetings
not pairing off....but maybe 6 or so people...it varied.
Concerts...movies....dining ..dances...card and board games playing,,,
sporting events...hiking.....plays.
I urge you to explore different meetings....each has a different
ambience and "we are not a glum lot" is in our BB.
Sorry to know of your sisters sad experiences...
Prayers for yall going out.
I wanted to find a group with members around my age
and single. My social circle needed re-vamping
I did....and we had a blast while staying on track.
We did all sorts of activities ouside of meetings
not pairing off....but maybe 6 or so people...it varied.
Concerts...movies....dining ..dances...card and board games playing,,,
sporting events...hiking.....plays.
I urge you to explore different meetings....each has a different
ambience and "we are not a glum lot" is in our BB.
Sorry to know of your sisters sad experiences...
Prayers for yall going out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Wa
Posts: 32
Congrats man!!! I'm only 27 and I can tell you the depression just gets worse. Anyways just wanted to say to try lots of differnt meetings. I tried a few stopped going and white knuckeled for the last 4 1/2 months and it was tough. I tried a meeting a freind suggested the other day and I kinda liked it. What I've found is find meetings with people that you probably would of drank with. You tend relate with them more and it has made it easier for me to reach out to people when times get tough.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
N.A.S.
Holy COW! Tons of good stuff in your posts above!! I see lots of great stuff: honesty about what's REALLY happening (lol, I had the same definition for "a good week") / what's not working, willingness to change (although you don't necessarily know what those changes will be.......but still willing to take a chance), a desire to be a better all-around person vs just wanting to "not drink," and best of all.......you're putting your actions where your mouth is...... you're DOING something about it.
It's all great stuff man. Great stuff. We recovered alkies need guys like you. We desperately need ppl who can identify with the 20yr olds, the 18yr olds, and the kids even younger who just can't identify with an old fart 42yr old like me. Jeez...... you'll be able to reach ppl I'll never get a shot with.
I'll tell ya straight - recovery isn't always fun and it's not always easy.......but it WILL get you happy, you'll enjoy life and you'll have a blast watching and helping others plug into it with you and after you. I don't just do this because my life depends upon it......it's a frickin' blast.
Hit that meeting, tell the folks you're new, and ask them what other meetings they like/recommend. That will help you find the best meetings in your area. Not all meetings are the same so be on the hunt for the best ones. Yanno, if you're gonna do this sobriety deal ya might as well learn from the best around, right? Seek them out......ask around......and be a sponge when you find 'em.
Welcome welcome!!
Holy COW! Tons of good stuff in your posts above!! I see lots of great stuff: honesty about what's REALLY happening (lol, I had the same definition for "a good week") / what's not working, willingness to change (although you don't necessarily know what those changes will be.......but still willing to take a chance), a desire to be a better all-around person vs just wanting to "not drink," and best of all.......you're putting your actions where your mouth is...... you're DOING something about it.
It's all great stuff man. Great stuff. We recovered alkies need guys like you. We desperately need ppl who can identify with the 20yr olds, the 18yr olds, and the kids even younger who just can't identify with an old fart 42yr old like me. Jeez...... you'll be able to reach ppl I'll never get a shot with.
I'll tell ya straight - recovery isn't always fun and it's not always easy.......but it WILL get you happy, you'll enjoy life and you'll have a blast watching and helping others plug into it with you and after you. I don't just do this because my life depends upon it......it's a frickin' blast.
Hit that meeting, tell the folks you're new, and ask them what other meetings they like/recommend. That will help you find the best meetings in your area. Not all meetings are the same so be on the hunt for the best ones. Yanno, if you're gonna do this sobriety deal ya might as well learn from the best around, right? Seek them out......ask around......and be a sponge when you find 'em.
Welcome welcome!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NE USA
Posts: 6
Thanks everyone. I find this forum very encouraging. It truly is people helping and supporting other people which is very hard to come by in my experience.
The whole drinking thing is just a mess for me really. I am starting to truly understand the greater psychology of it all and the traps that have kept me boozing for the entire last year when I really knew it was effecting many elements in my life in a negative way. One thing that I really keep thinking about which goes back to my original post is this hope for moderation or returning to normal drinking habits. I was pondering an upcoming concert I have tickets to and was thinking well maybe there I will have a beer or two. As soon as I open the flood gates of making alcohol a possibility for me then I start to feel other thoughts boil, like well, if I am going to have one then I might as well drink on NYE, everyone drinks on NYE. The problem is a night like NYE I am certain to get hammered (actually most nights I drink I am certain to get hammered!), wake up feeling like crap and be right back to where I started.
Part of my escalating consumption I think draws from a certain aspects of my personality. For example, I am an avid cyclist. When I ride my bike and "the feeling strikes" I will ride at as fast a pace as possible for as long as possible until I am so physically exhausted I feel like I am going to faint! Beer became sort of the same, after 2-3 beers and "the feeling strikes" I would almost take pride in my innate ability to guzzle down 10 more and act like it was no big deal while watching my friends stumble around after only a few more. Through doing this I feel that I partly created an image for myself and thus had to keep it going every night out as it was expected (probably not true but how I felt).
Not really sure where I am going with this. All I know is I am not going to drink today.
The whole drinking thing is just a mess for me really. I am starting to truly understand the greater psychology of it all and the traps that have kept me boozing for the entire last year when I really knew it was effecting many elements in my life in a negative way. One thing that I really keep thinking about which goes back to my original post is this hope for moderation or returning to normal drinking habits. I was pondering an upcoming concert I have tickets to and was thinking well maybe there I will have a beer or two. As soon as I open the flood gates of making alcohol a possibility for me then I start to feel other thoughts boil, like well, if I am going to have one then I might as well drink on NYE, everyone drinks on NYE. The problem is a night like NYE I am certain to get hammered (actually most nights I drink I am certain to get hammered!), wake up feeling like crap and be right back to where I started.
Part of my escalating consumption I think draws from a certain aspects of my personality. For example, I am an avid cyclist. When I ride my bike and "the feeling strikes" I will ride at as fast a pace as possible for as long as possible until I am so physically exhausted I feel like I am going to faint! Beer became sort of the same, after 2-3 beers and "the feeling strikes" I would almost take pride in my innate ability to guzzle down 10 more and act like it was no big deal while watching my friends stumble around after only a few more. Through doing this I feel that I partly created an image for myself and thus had to keep it going every night out as it was expected (probably not true but how I felt).
Not really sure where I am going with this. All I know is I am not going to drink today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 105
NAS, awesome post! Thanks! Today is one of those realization days for me and your post captured much of what is going through my head. I like to think I can moderate, but it's very difficult. There's so many incredible things in life and it's too short to be "numbed" by alcohol!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Glad you are here NotAlwaysSo,
You've come to the right place. It's truly great that you are coming to terms with Alcohol at such a young age. I tried to stop around the age of 24 and was successful for about 6 months. When I finally went back to drinking I didn't look back until I was 40.
As you go forward please keep in mind how great it is you are trying to stop at an early age and think about people like myself who let it go far too long. Best you nip it in the bud before it nips you back.
You've got support here, keep coming back and you'll be happy you did.
You've come to the right place. It's truly great that you are coming to terms with Alcohol at such a young age. I tried to stop around the age of 24 and was successful for about 6 months. When I finally went back to drinking I didn't look back until I was 40.
As you go forward please keep in mind how great it is you are trying to stop at an early age and think about people like myself who let it go far too long. Best you nip it in the bud before it nips you back.
You've got support here, keep coming back and you'll be happy you did.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NE USA
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by DayTrader 
It's all great stuff man. Great stuff. We recovered alkies need guys like you. We desperately need ppl who can identify with the 20yr olds, the 18yr olds, and the kids even younger who just can't identify with an old fart 42yr old like me. Jeez...... you'll be able to reach ppl I'll never get a shot with.
Today is Day 4. My head is feeling less fuzzy. Last night I felt really spaced out, like my mind was not connected to my body at all. Slept pretty good though when I finally fell asleep and woke up today feeling pretty decent. My mantra of one day at a time will continue today.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
