Mom with questions - new member
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
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Mom with questions - new member
Hello,
This is my first time and first post here. Unfortunately, I have spent a lot of time on another forum which deals with opiate abuse while dealing with my youngest son's addiction. Now I find myself here to learn more about my oldest son's alcoholism. They are my only children and I love them dearly but realize that I just cannot continue "enabling" them and being the martyr. Yes, I do know all about co-dependency all too well, sadly.
My question is about my alcoholic son. Of course, he will not admit to being an alcoholic because he can "cut back" on alcohol and is doing so right now. He lives with a roommate (no SO) and has been "sick" for around 3 months now. His symptoms are extreme vertigo, light-headed, total body fatigue (says he feels like he has the flu without the runny nose, etc.), whenever he does any physical work or exerts himself, he feels extreme dizziness. He looks pale, clammy, is depressed, and has severe anxiety. He is also very edgy and emotional.
He has had complete bloodwork done and a cat scan. Results showed that he is fine. The Dr. put him on ADD meds and my son says that it seems to help him "focus" better, but the symptoms remain. He will be going to get an MRI next week.
My question is about withdrawal symptoms. Is it possible that cutting back on drinking is causing some of these symptoms? Or, if he hasn't cut back as he says he has, could these be signs of severe alcoholism??
I am just so worried and would like to know your thoughts. Thank you.
This is my first time and first post here. Unfortunately, I have spent a lot of time on another forum which deals with opiate abuse while dealing with my youngest son's addiction. Now I find myself here to learn more about my oldest son's alcoholism. They are my only children and I love them dearly but realize that I just cannot continue "enabling" them and being the martyr. Yes, I do know all about co-dependency all too well, sadly.
My question is about my alcoholic son. Of course, he will not admit to being an alcoholic because he can "cut back" on alcohol and is doing so right now. He lives with a roommate (no SO) and has been "sick" for around 3 months now. His symptoms are extreme vertigo, light-headed, total body fatigue (says he feels like he has the flu without the runny nose, etc.), whenever he does any physical work or exerts himself, he feels extreme dizziness. He looks pale, clammy, is depressed, and has severe anxiety. He is also very edgy and emotional.
He has had complete bloodwork done and a cat scan. Results showed that he is fine. The Dr. put him on ADD meds and my son says that it seems to help him "focus" better, but the symptoms remain. He will be going to get an MRI next week.
My question is about withdrawal symptoms. Is it possible that cutting back on drinking is causing some of these symptoms? Or, if he hasn't cut back as he says he has, could these be signs of severe alcoholism??
I am just so worried and would like to know your thoughts. Thank you.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Sorry for what brings you here. I'm not a doctor, and we can't give any medical advice here anyways.. but I'll tell you that all of our bodies seem to process alcohol differently. If you read in the stickies (permanent posts) you'll read stories of 'what we did', every single story describes vastly different withdrawal, programs, etc.. Alcohol is a toxin on the body and mind.. how it can destroy both is as varied as there are alcoholics. The fact is, however.. that it is toxic, to anyone.. not just alcoholics.
I'm glad your son is seeing a doctor. "Cutting back" makes absolutely no sense to me, but I'm an alcoholic. It's all or nothin to me! His doctor might be much more able to help him if he wasn't drinking at all, but that's between him and his doctor, as is the rest of this, really.
I'm glad your son is seeing a doctor. "Cutting back" makes absolutely no sense to me, but I'm an alcoholic. It's all or nothin to me! His doctor might be much more able to help him if he wasn't drinking at all, but that's between him and his doctor, as is the rest of this, really.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by smacked 
Sorry for what brings you here. I'm not a doctor, and we can't give any medical advice here anyways.. but I'll tell you that all of our bodies seem to process alcohol differently. If you read in the stickies (permanent posts) you'll read stories of 'what we did', every single story describes vastly different withdrawal, programs, etc.. Alcohol is a toxin on the body and mind.. how it can destroy both is as varied as there are alcoholics. The fact is, however.. that it is toxic, to anyone.. not just alcoholics.
I'm glad your son is seeing a doctor. "Cutting back" makes absolutely no sense to me, but I'm an alcoholic. It's all or nothin to me! His doctor might be much more able to help him if he wasn't drinking at all, but that's between him and his doctor, as is the rest of this, really.
I'm glad your son is seeing a doctor. "Cutting back" makes absolutely no sense to me, but I'm an alcoholic. It's all or nothin to me! His doctor might be much more able to help him if he wasn't drinking at all, but that's between him and his doctor, as is the rest of this, really.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I would be scared too, just. But as you know, you don't have any control and worry doesn't change a darn thing. Please try to take care of YOU, and let the chips fall where they may for him. I know it sucks. Alcoholism is deadly, for sure.. but treatable.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
he feels extreme dizziness. He looks pale, clammy, is depressed, and has severe anxiety. He is also very edgy and emotional.
Well best get to the doctor.......because everyone is different.
I will say that those symptoms you describe where part of alcohol withdrawal for me.....they got a whole lot worse but the above where underlying for maybe a week....10 days.
That alone doesn't describe me as an alcoholic..imo......many people withdraw from alcohol.....problem drinkers..alcohol abusers.....
and when the chips are down they can moderate or stop.
Alcohol withdrawal starts when the person stops drinking suddenly....the only thing to stop that happening is meds......but even then, that wont stop some of the symptoms..
If he is honest with the doctor, they should be able to tell whether it is alcohol withdrawal.......If they know the truth.
i am an alcoholic......i have extensive experience with withdrawal from alcohol.
in hospital and in jail
BUT.......i am not a doctor..........and that should be your next stop.
good luck.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 8
Thank you all for your posts. They are greatly appreciated.
Might I ask if there is a forum or other threads that discuss second DUIs? My addict son (not the one I discussed in this post), totaled his truck on Saturday while driving drunk. It was his second. His first DUI was just under 5 years ago in December as well. We live in California.
When it rains, it pours..........
Might I ask if there is a forum or other threads that discuss second DUIs? My addict son (not the one I discussed in this post), totaled his truck on Saturday while driving drunk. It was his second. His first DUI was just under 5 years ago in December as well. We live in California.
When it rains, it pours..........
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Justus-
If either of your sons don't want to get sober, they're not going to get sober then.
Not much you can do about it. Maybe you can spend some of this energy into healing yourself?
If either of your sons don't want to get sober, they're not going to get sober then.
Not much you can do about it. Maybe you can spend some of this energy into healing yourself?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Kjell
Hi Justus-
If either of your sons don't want to get sober, they're not going to get sober then.
Not much you can do about it. Maybe you can spend some of this energy into healing yourself?
If either of your sons don't want to get sober, they're not going to get sober then.
Not much you can do about it. Maybe you can spend some of this energy into healing yourself?
The alcoholic son seems to want to "get better", just won't admit to being an alcoholic. I know that his healing will never begin until he does.
Much easier to say "heal yourself" than it is to do it. I have an appointment with our therapist today to discuss setting boundaries for myself.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Sorry for what you are going through Justis. There is a lot of good info on this thread that I am sure you can use.
As for what your son is going through with alcohol, there is now way to tell what is causing his symptoms if he isn't being honest with you, but I hope he IS being honest with his doctor. For the last few years of my drinking, I went from doctor to doctor trying to "feel better" and tell me what was wrong with me. Cardiologists, chiropractors, naturopath doctors, acupuncturists, regular doctors, sleep specialist etc. Nothing could be pin pointed exactly. I just got the "try this" approach. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and but on a C-Pap machine. All the while, I thought maybe it was my drinking causing all of these issues, but at the same time drinking seemed to be something that "helped" the symptoms also. It was an ugly cycle. Drink to make my symptoms go away, but then when the alcohol would wear off it would be worse, so the more I would drink. I am still not sure if my symptoms caused my alcoholism or my alcoholism caused my symptoms. But the bottom line was alcohol was killing me. Slowly but surely. Once I got rid of the alcohol and started working a recovery plan my life is 100% better. I love life again, have tons of energy, and am excelling with my career.
My symptoms were dizziness, tiredness, headaches, heart palpitations, irritability, and I am sure others but it has been over a year now so I can't remember them all.
As said we can't give medical advice here, but I would strongly encourage your son to see his doctor and be HONEST with what he is doing. Only then can he truly get relief. My doctors were baffled because I wasn't telling them the whole picture and I was being diagnosed with things I didn't have. Oh, and I am now off my C-Pap machine.
It makes me sick to think of all the money I threw away to doctors when the bottom line my drinking was making me sick. Thousands and thousands of dollars. Not saying he doesn't have a legit medical condition, but he needs to tell the doctor everything.
I pray you and your sons find comfort and relief. And again, welcome to SoberRecovery.
As for what your son is going through with alcohol, there is now way to tell what is causing his symptoms if he isn't being honest with you, but I hope he IS being honest with his doctor. For the last few years of my drinking, I went from doctor to doctor trying to "feel better" and tell me what was wrong with me. Cardiologists, chiropractors, naturopath doctors, acupuncturists, regular doctors, sleep specialist etc. Nothing could be pin pointed exactly. I just got the "try this" approach. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and but on a C-Pap machine. All the while, I thought maybe it was my drinking causing all of these issues, but at the same time drinking seemed to be something that "helped" the symptoms also. It was an ugly cycle. Drink to make my symptoms go away, but then when the alcohol would wear off it would be worse, so the more I would drink. I am still not sure if my symptoms caused my alcoholism or my alcoholism caused my symptoms. But the bottom line was alcohol was killing me. Slowly but surely. Once I got rid of the alcohol and started working a recovery plan my life is 100% better. I love life again, have tons of energy, and am excelling with my career.
My symptoms were dizziness, tiredness, headaches, heart palpitations, irritability, and I am sure others but it has been over a year now so I can't remember them all.
As said we can't give medical advice here, but I would strongly encourage your son to see his doctor and be HONEST with what he is doing. Only then can he truly get relief. My doctors were baffled because I wasn't telling them the whole picture and I was being diagnosed with things I didn't have. Oh, and I am now off my C-Pap machine.
It makes me sick to think of all the money I threw away to doctors when the bottom line my drinking was making me sick. Thousands and thousands of dollars. Not saying he doesn't have a legit medical condition, but he needs to tell the doctor everything.I pray you and your sons find comfort and relief. And again, welcome to SoberRecovery.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: California
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by bdiddy5522
Sorry for what you are going through Justis. There is a lot of good info on this thread that I am sure you can use.
As for what your son is going through with alcohol, there is now way to tell what is causing his symptoms if he isn't being honest with you, but I hope he IS being honest with his doctor. For the last few years of my drinking, I went from doctor to doctor trying to "feel better" and tell me what was wrong with me. Cardiologists, chiropractors, naturopath doctors, acupuncturists, regular doctors, sleep specialist etc. Nothing could be pin pointed exactly. I just got the "try this" approach. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and but on a C-Pap machine. All the while, I thought maybe it was my drinking causing all of these issues, but at the same time drinking seemed to be something that "helped" the symptoms also. It was an ugly cycle. Drink to make my symptoms go away, but then when the alcohol would wear off it would be worse, so the more I would drink. I am still not sure if my symptoms caused my alcoholism or my alcoholism caused my symptoms. But the bottom line was alcohol was killing me. Slowly but surely. Once I got rid of the alcohol and started working a recovery plan my life is 100% better. I love life again, have tons of energy, and am excelling with my career.
My symptoms were dizziness, tiredness, headaches, heart palpitations, irritability, and I am sure others but it has been over a year now so I can't remember them all.
As said we can't give medical advice here, but I would strongly encourage your son to see his doctor and be HONEST with what he is doing. Only then can he truly get relief. My doctors were baffled because I wasn't telling them the whole picture and I was being diagnosed with things I didn't have. Oh, and I am now off my C-Pap machine. It makes me sick to think of all the money I threw away to doctors when the bottom line my drinking was making me sick. Thousands and thousands of dollars. Not saying he doesn't have a legit medical condition, but he needs to tell the doctor everything.
I pray you and your sons find comfort and relief. And again, welcome to SoberRecovery.
As for what your son is going through with alcohol, there is now way to tell what is causing his symptoms if he isn't being honest with you, but I hope he IS being honest with his doctor. For the last few years of my drinking, I went from doctor to doctor trying to "feel better" and tell me what was wrong with me. Cardiologists, chiropractors, naturopath doctors, acupuncturists, regular doctors, sleep specialist etc. Nothing could be pin pointed exactly. I just got the "try this" approach. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and but on a C-Pap machine. All the while, I thought maybe it was my drinking causing all of these issues, but at the same time drinking seemed to be something that "helped" the symptoms also. It was an ugly cycle. Drink to make my symptoms go away, but then when the alcohol would wear off it would be worse, so the more I would drink. I am still not sure if my symptoms caused my alcoholism or my alcoholism caused my symptoms. But the bottom line was alcohol was killing me. Slowly but surely. Once I got rid of the alcohol and started working a recovery plan my life is 100% better. I love life again, have tons of energy, and am excelling with my career.
My symptoms were dizziness, tiredness, headaches, heart palpitations, irritability, and I am sure others but it has been over a year now so I can't remember them all.
As said we can't give medical advice here, but I would strongly encourage your son to see his doctor and be HONEST with what he is doing. Only then can he truly get relief. My doctors were baffled because I wasn't telling them the whole picture and I was being diagnosed with things I didn't have. Oh, and I am now off my C-Pap machine.
It makes me sick to think of all the money I threw away to doctors when the bottom line my drinking was making me sick. Thousands and thousands of dollars. Not saying he doesn't have a legit medical condition, but he needs to tell the doctor everything.I pray you and your sons find comfort and relief. And again, welcome to SoberRecovery.
Thank you for the prayers, they are always welcomed and appreciated!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
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Have you visited the family and friends section they will have much more experience dealing with alcoholic and addicts as a family member:-)
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Italy
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Originally Posted by justus
Of course, he will not admit to being an alcoholic because he can "cut back" on alcohol and is doing so right now.
Originally Posted by justus
His symptoms are extreme vertigo, light-headed, total body fatigue (says he feels like he has the flu without the runny nose, etc.), whenever he does any physical work or exerts himself, he feels extreme dizziness. He looks pale, clammy, is depressed, and has severe anxiety. He is also very edgy and emotional
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