loveon2legs

Last night I went to an AA meeting...it was a womans recovery meeting....I felt really uncomfortable walking in and just felt out of place the entire time....I can't put my finger on it....I've been sober for 11 months and basically have gone it alone....and I knows that typical of an alcoholic to isolate, so maybe that's why I find it so uncomfortable....to be around a group of others...I've always been a social person, but when it comes to getting help its a different story... A wonderful lady insisted I give her my number she will be calling today..I felt like I wanted to climb into my shell when she asked...I'm just so damn private I guess.... I will go to a few more and see if I feel the same..... UGGGGG.........

Dime

I think it is normal for us to be uncomfortable at first but being able to talk with other sober alcoholics is an important part of the recovery process. I didn't have any friends left when I got sober but I found a whole group of new friends who understood me and were willing to help me in the fellowship. Isolating is a very lonely and dangerous thing for us. I would suggest that you hang in there for a while and try to let people reach out to you.

Toronto68

LoveOn2, did you want to start going as a way to keep progressing to a new level or were feeling stale?

I have a side that doesn't like looking for help either (well, maybe a lot bigger than just a side, ha ha).

Maybe one of the early things you will like about it is what you think others can get out of your participation. Hope it goes well.

johndelko408

I'm in the same boat as Dime. It's normal for us to be uncomfortable at first. I felt out of place when I first started going to meetings. Once people started reaching out to me and I started hearing the similarities in peoples shares, I started feeling that I indeed belonged there. Like Dime said I too had to drop a lot of people I considered friends and it was tough. Slowly I started to realize that those people I thought were friends were in fact not my friends. The only thing that we had in common was the fact that we drank together, in fact the only reason I knew them was from meeting them at bars and clubs.

One thing I've noticed about myself is that I can be deathly terrified of change. I think that its a common characteristic of us alcoholics and addicts. Living in a perpetual Groundhog Day (movie), repeating our day as we did yesterday. For the longest time in my recovery I was very reluctant to go to meetings in other locations than my home group. I was scared I wouldn't know anyone and that I wouldn't like it. I just started to branch out a little more than a month ago and as it turns out I saw a lot of familiar face at these other meeting locations. I'm very glad that I did branch out because I made some more new friends.

I would suggest to stick around the meetings for a while, which you said you were going to. Just don't leave before the miracle has a chance to happen. I wish you qell on your journey of continued sobriety.

Brucel

Way to go!! Hey, I heard courage was not a lack of fear, but doing something when you're scared to death. You going to a meeting and not running out like your pants were on fire sounds pretty couragous to me. Keep it up and see what happens.

bellakeller

Way to go breakin' thru that comfort zone!! I know how challenging that can be! Hang in there and see if this helps. I know I went to about 4 meetings a week out of a promise I made to someone else and kept going when meetings actually became "me" time, to my great surprise! I would never have thought I would be at this point but it is what it is and I am so glad!

Best of luck and much love!

rws177

I went into AA after about ten months sober and felt the same way. For me I liked going to the speaker meetings and hearing how messed up there lives were and how much better they are now. After about 10-15 meetings I joined the program and found a sponsor. I'm really glad that I did, but yep in the beginning I felt strange and out of place.....

yeahgr8

I can soooooo relate to that...its how i felt everytime i would pop up at AA for a few meetings...every few years!!

I got given numbers before too...no way i was going to ring them, i couldnt see the point...they would also say if you gonna drink call somebody...i was pretty insane out there but even then i thought if im gonna drink im gonna drink what am i going to call for to let you know i got to the liquor store safe and sound...really funny thinking back...

I hope you meet someone who you relate to and get a bit interested in finding out more about...AA didn't change for me until i got on with getting more involved with a sponsor and working the steps...then it got real interesting!

I also remember asking so cmon whats this AA about, explain it to me and i would be met with "keep coming back" or "just keep turning up" and then asking how do meetings keep you sober i don't get it, then would be looked at with some disdain and some comment like "when you are sober a while you will get it"...psshhh...it took me ages and a stint in a 12 step rehab to find out what the 12 steps were about and even then i really didn't understand them until i started working them...in hindsight i was asking the wrong people, i went straight to the people in the rooms who i was naturally attracted to and were just like me at that time...in the end i asked this fuzzy little guy with a funny coat on who defo looked like someone who i had nothing in common with and he became my sponsor, led me through the steps and is a real friend...lifes a trip, huh!

Good to read your post...lots came flooding back:-)

Oh and the asking for help thing...i was the same, i didn't need anybody's help and no way i was asking for it...that was a lesson i had to learn once through hopelessness and desperation and now i am getting good at asking for help on things, amazingly it makes life so much easier and no-one, apart from me sometimes, thinks i am a wimp for doing so!

TheMaster

I'm not overly social at those things, either... I split after the prayer, last night, myself.

Redhead84

I fear going to AA because .........I just think it's bad.

skg

Congratulations on finding the courage to go. You've made more progress than most already! It takes courage and willingness to get sober.

When I went to AA meetings, the people there were creepy friendly, and I figured they all wanted something from me. Turns out, they only wanted me to get sober. When the contempt started to subside I began to hear what some were saying and there were some ideas that I hadn't managed to come up with on my own on how to live an addiction-free life, so I came back some more. Some of those ideas were so cool that I tried to implement them in MY life--and they worked. So I tried some more. There always seemed to be a message, from different people, that seemed to make my life more manageable for that day--even if for only 23 hours until I went back.
It's been working that way since, and I found the courage to do what was suggested, to clean house, and to pay it forward. Certainly beats hiding behind my computer whining about how unique I was.

Lay the contempt prior to investigation at the doorstep when you go in and ask your HP for the willingness to hear what you're supposed to hear. And STAY SOBAH!!

onlythetruth

If you don't like AA, but you do want support, I have two observations to make. One is that support is available...right here, on this forum! The other is that AA is NOT the only support group there is. There are several others, including SMART Recovery, LifeRing and SOS.

I've been a member of SMART Recovery for several years and I love it, while AA was not a fit for me at all. You might want to check it out; it might be what you are looking for.

SMART Recovery® | Self Help for Alcoholism & Addiction

tsmba

Making sweeping judgments about AA after attending one meeting is not a good way to start. I don't know anyone who skipped into the program because they wanted to be there. It takes time and effort.

DayTrader

LO2L and Red.... same deal for me, except I "knew" it was bad. lol

I hated asking for ANYONE'S help, hated talking about recovery, hated being one of "them" (alcoholics), hated feeling weak and unmanageable, hated everyone at the meetings, hated the meetings, hated the coffee (the cookies were cool though....heh), hated listening to their stories, hated the churches, hated the cheap uncomfortable chairs, hated the literature.......need I go on? lol

I kept going though, because this little voice in my head kept telling me that I "needed" to keep going and I "needed" to really give it an honest try even though I didn't like it.

Holy cow, thank goodness I listened to that voice..... Needless to say, all the uncomfortableness and hatred of everything went away and I've come to love just about everything I mentioned above (except the cheap uncomfortable chairs...heh....but I hardly notice them anymore)

UniqueNewYork

I think the ironic thing about me is that I never would have become involved in AA if someone hadn't said "whats your number I'm gonna call you and we're gonna hang out". It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I was very sick when I came into AA spiritually emotionally. Very depressed. I know what I need to do I need to go to a meeting today and start going again. Take it from me, someone who got up to 4 months sobriety then fell off again, that 4 months was some of the best time in my entire life. It seems like in life its hard to truly have your s- together, but during that 4 months I knew what it felt like to feel like hey I finally have my s- together! Yay! lol. Its one of the best feelings in the world, a feeling like you could conquer a mountain. Just give you a map and lets do this thing. Like you're the captain of the ship instead of the deck swabber. These people in AA they aren't trying to sell you something. They are giving you a chance to have the life that you always wanted but were too busy creating obstacles for yourself to have.