Three Days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 76
Three Days
This is my first post.
Been lurking for a while and I can honestly say I feel right at home here. Thank God this place exists.
Admittedly I know I am an alcoholic. As we know, alcoholism is a progressive illness, and as time takes us through that progression we begin to change and see things differently, for the better or for the worse.
I have been feeling a lot better overall about myself lately because I have been so honest about realizing my alcoholism. I've known that I am an alcoholic for a long time, but the true admittance and acceptance of it never really solidified until recently. The fact that I am aware at least, is some kind of progress.
Now that I've got that little intro out of the way...
Three days seems to be all I can last. I feel great physically and mentally when I've gotten booze out of my system, and the fact that I've managed to not drink also makes me feel proud. Problem is that I can't seem to keep this up for more than 2 nights in a row. By the third night I'm back to the bottle, and what gets me is that I seem to do it in a completely nonchalant way. I know the trouble it has led me to almost every time I drink, but I still do it.
I realize alcoholism is different for everyone, but I feel as though I have a unique issue with it. I get my preferred buzz from beer and beer alone. I also don't crave to drink until a certain time of day, which is after midnight and beyond. I find that my mind cannot escape thoughts of needing to drink and be intoxicated in the very early hours of the morning, before I eventually grow tired enough to sleep. Over the last two years I have almost always gotten drunk as a way of easing myself into sleep. At first it worked but I can safely say that it has been a long time since that were true. Alcohol in reality disrupts your sleep more than almost anything I have come across.
In truth that need to drink in the early hours of the morning is linked to depression. My mind is not at ease because I am unhappy. Overall I would not say that I am unhappy most of the time. But the sadness does come at night, when everyone else has gone to bed. It never seems to go away for more than a couple days. When I drink, it ends up being at least 4 beers (1.5 litres) but has increased to average 6 beers a night (2 litres). As I said, I've been better lately so I haven't been drinking every day. My body is already feeling better, but I can't seem to make it all the way to the morning of Day 4. Right now I've had 3 beers and will probably have a 4th one before I finally go to bed.
I am not a cigarette smoker and I consume a very minor amount of caffeine. Admittedly I do smoke (a very small amount) marijuana daily and I aim to give that up eventually as well. My main priority right now is eliminating alcohol from my life entirely. I am continually working on the pot as well, so don't think I am in denial about that.
If anyone else has a similar experience, I'd be grateful if you'd share. Thank you all so much for lending your ears and being here. Thanks for being real, honest people. I've waited a long time to come to a place where I could confess the truth.
I guess this is the right time.
Been lurking for a while and I can honestly say I feel right at home here. Thank God this place exists.
Admittedly I know I am an alcoholic. As we know, alcoholism is a progressive illness, and as time takes us through that progression we begin to change and see things differently, for the better or for the worse.
I have been feeling a lot better overall about myself lately because I have been so honest about realizing my alcoholism. I've known that I am an alcoholic for a long time, but the true admittance and acceptance of it never really solidified until recently. The fact that I am aware at least, is some kind of progress.
Now that I've got that little intro out of the way...
Three days seems to be all I can last. I feel great physically and mentally when I've gotten booze out of my system, and the fact that I've managed to not drink also makes me feel proud. Problem is that I can't seem to keep this up for more than 2 nights in a row. By the third night I'm back to the bottle, and what gets me is that I seem to do it in a completely nonchalant way. I know the trouble it has led me to almost every time I drink, but I still do it.
I realize alcoholism is different for everyone, but I feel as though I have a unique issue with it. I get my preferred buzz from beer and beer alone. I also don't crave to drink until a certain time of day, which is after midnight and beyond. I find that my mind cannot escape thoughts of needing to drink and be intoxicated in the very early hours of the morning, before I eventually grow tired enough to sleep. Over the last two years I have almost always gotten drunk as a way of easing myself into sleep. At first it worked but I can safely say that it has been a long time since that were true. Alcohol in reality disrupts your sleep more than almost anything I have come across.
In truth that need to drink in the early hours of the morning is linked to depression. My mind is not at ease because I am unhappy. Overall I would not say that I am unhappy most of the time. But the sadness does come at night, when everyone else has gone to bed. It never seems to go away for more than a couple days. When I drink, it ends up being at least 4 beers (1.5 litres) but has increased to average 6 beers a night (2 litres). As I said, I've been better lately so I haven't been drinking every day. My body is already feeling better, but I can't seem to make it all the way to the morning of Day 4. Right now I've had 3 beers and will probably have a 4th one before I finally go to bed.
I am not a cigarette smoker and I consume a very minor amount of caffeine. Admittedly I do smoke (a very small amount) marijuana daily and I aim to give that up eventually as well. My main priority right now is eliminating alcohol from my life entirely. I am continually working on the pot as well, so don't think I am in denial about that.
If anyone else has a similar experience, I'd be grateful if you'd share. Thank you all so much for lending your ears and being here. Thanks for being real, honest people. I've waited a long time to come to a place where I could confess the truth.
I guess this is the right time.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,962
Cool Cobalt, Welcome to to the SoberRecovery forum.
Oh man I totally get individual alcohol problems. Had one myself. Not a big deal really. Its being where your at... willing to make some significant changes in your life... that's the start point. Forget all the particular finer points that would define the problem. That's the easy stuff. What matters is...as you have chosen to be here at SR... big step...lets see where I can help.
First off, lets define a plan that would bring you closer to your goal...living free from alcohol.
What would help? Plan wise that is.
No rush, just something to think about...we'll be here regardless.
Oh man I totally get individual alcohol problems. Had one myself. Not a big deal really. Its being where your at... willing to make some significant changes in your life... that's the start point. Forget all the particular finer points that would define the problem. That's the easy stuff. What matters is...as you have chosen to be here at SR... big step...lets see where I can help.
First off, lets define a plan that would bring you closer to your goal...living free from alcohol.
What would help? Plan wise that is.
No rush, just something to think about...we'll be here regardless.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 22
Cobalt,
Welcome to SR.
I have a similar drinking pattern to what you describe, except that my "witching hour" is right after it starts to get dark in the evening (around here in NJ, approximately 6PM).
I feel a strong urge to go and drink about once every two or three days.
I drink hard liquor, however, because I put on too much weight (or so I think) when I drink beer. I drink about 4-6 drinks also. However, with hard alcohol, it is easy to consume more, and the "spike" of the buzz is much more intense and short lived.
I also have just started my quit attempt. I wish you the best success, and I hope to hear how you are holding up periodically.
Jupiter
Welcome to SR.
I have a similar drinking pattern to what you describe, except that my "witching hour" is right after it starts to get dark in the evening (around here in NJ, approximately 6PM).
I feel a strong urge to go and drink about once every two or three days.
I drink hard liquor, however, because I put on too much weight (or so I think) when I drink beer. I drink about 4-6 drinks also. However, with hard alcohol, it is easy to consume more, and the "spike" of the buzz is much more intense and short lived.
I also have just started my quit attempt. I wish you the best success, and I hope to hear how you are holding up periodically.
Jupiter
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