My real name
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 10
My real name
is Elizabeth and I haven't seen much joy in her lately. Recently, I found an old picture of my grandmother and in it she was laughing with a friend on the waters of Lake St. Clair swimming by her rowboat and the boat's name of "Little Soul". I think it was from the 1920's. Most everyone here has a screen name. It took a long time for me to find one. Strange how that felt like a prerequisite to sharing the hell I feel... I did go to an AA woman's meeting last winter. My first one. My pride made it really hard for me to go. But, I bought the big blue book and the 12 steps book. I read them and was amazed at the stories of success, but my shyness prevented me from asking for the help I needed. I just said I was new and passed to the next person. I thought just by my going to the meeting that someone would see the desperation in my face and reach out to me. It didn't happen on that day. But, I have in the not too distant past stopped drinking here and there, (six weeks (my best), a week, a day) so thank you for the medical advice, but luckily I'm okay in that arena. I just so want someone to talk to one on one. Is that possible here? Or do I have to go back to a meeting?
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hey Elizabeth,
I like your story. Especially since I have a lot of fond memories of lake St. Clair.
My family came here in the late 1940s and floated all around Hamtramack to Port Huron. The eastern waters were always a big part of my childhood.
I can relate very well to hoping and wishing others would just know what I'm feeling and that I didn't have to express myself. Actually, it's considered one of the traits of my mental illness, so I guess it falls on me pretty hard. Thing that's been most helpful for me is just empathy and putting myself in the other person's shoes. I know that if someone came to me asking for help I would feel honored and would want to give them the best I can, so I have to train myself to believe that other people are likely to respond the same way.
I would gladly offer to write you one-on-one if that would be helpful for you. That offer is always open. Send me a message any time the spirit moves you.
Take care.
I like your story. Especially since I have a lot of fond memories of lake St. Clair.
My family came here in the late 1940s and floated all around Hamtramack to Port Huron. The eastern waters were always a big part of my childhood.I can relate very well to hoping and wishing others would just know what I'm feeling and that I didn't have to express myself. Actually, it's considered one of the traits of my mental illness, so I guess it falls on me pretty hard. Thing that's been most helpful for me is just empathy and putting myself in the other person's shoes. I know that if someone came to me asking for help I would feel honored and would want to give them the best I can, so I have to train myself to believe that other people are likely to respond the same way.
I would gladly offer to write you one-on-one if that would be helpful for you. That offer is always open. Send me a message any time the spirit moves you.
Take care.
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
Hello Elizabeth (my middle name )
I've been going to AA for about a week, and can say that even though I do share in meetings, I kinda would've thought someone would have offered to be my sponsor by now, lol.
I am more than willing to talk to you one on one also, anytime you need to.
I'm in the 586, and we in "the mitten" ^^^ as Isa says, gotta stick together!!
)I've been going to AA for about a week, and can say that even though I do share in meetings, I kinda would've thought someone would have offered to be my sponsor by now, lol.
I am more than willing to talk to you one on one also, anytime you need to.
I'm in the 586, and we in "the mitten" ^^^ as Isa says, gotta stick together!!
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hehe, (raises hand and points to the area where thumb starts to join wrist.)
We should all gather over some pasties and a game of Euchre and discuss this great and difficult thing called sobriety. I'll even supply the POP (Faygo or Vernors...?)
But yeah, I concur with Julez. Anyone struggling with an addiction is automatically my friend. And anyone struggling from the Great Lakes State is my friend plus some.
We should all gather over some pasties and a game of Euchre and discuss this great and difficult thing called sobriety. I'll even supply the POP (Faygo or Vernors...?)
But yeah, I concur with Julez. Anyone struggling with an addiction is automatically my friend. And anyone struggling from the Great Lakes State is my friend plus some.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Littlesoul, you can talk to me one on one too if you want to.
You might also notice yourself wanting to talk more in the open too, where others can chime in with you.
I'm not really sure why I haven't gone to AA yet. Recently somebody in person mentioned it to me twice and that caused inside me that "don't push me" feeling I didn't expect to have. I suppose it is pride in my case too, because I see evidence of doing something right for me. Then that makes me think about what many people say about the wrongheadedness in having to do things on one's own terms and questioning whether I am doing that. Still another part of me thinks I have enough thinking to do, and I don't need something else to obsess over and meetings would likely contribute to that. I probably need medication or counselling and also more to do.
But I'm doing what I'm doing and coming in here is part of it. I haven't been drinking since Nov of last year. I'd never really quit before. Just a couple of weeks a couple of times spread out over more than a decade. I'm still not sure what is different this time, aside from the length of time, but something IS different.
I'm familiar with Lake St Clair - and also Hamtramck, and Grosse Pointe and Grosse Ile, etc., for that matter. I love the names of places in that area.
Ironically, I don't have the patience to read - even though I read a lot every day, here and other places - but I do want to get a Big Book (not just look at it online).
Maybe out of the conversations you have here, something will prompt you to go to another meeting and share.
You might also notice yourself wanting to talk more in the open too, where others can chime in with you.
I'm not really sure why I haven't gone to AA yet. Recently somebody in person mentioned it to me twice and that caused inside me that "don't push me" feeling I didn't expect to have. I suppose it is pride in my case too, because I see evidence of doing something right for me. Then that makes me think about what many people say about the wrongheadedness in having to do things on one's own terms and questioning whether I am doing that. Still another part of me thinks I have enough thinking to do, and I don't need something else to obsess over and meetings would likely contribute to that. I probably need medication or counselling and also more to do.
But I'm doing what I'm doing and coming in here is part of it. I haven't been drinking since Nov of last year. I'd never really quit before. Just a couple of weeks a couple of times spread out over more than a decade. I'm still not sure what is different this time, aside from the length of time, but something IS different.
I'm familiar with Lake St Clair - and also Hamtramck, and Grosse Pointe and Grosse Ile, etc., for that matter. I love the names of places in that area.
Ironically, I don't have the patience to read - even though I read a lot every day, here and other places - but I do want to get a Big Book (not just look at it online).
Maybe out of the conversations you have here, something will prompt you to go to another meeting and share.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 10
Thanks to you all. I have lived (at least in my mind) the alcohol distress in private. It feels incredibly amazing to talk about it with people who know. Toronto68, you must have found a key we search for and sometimes I think mysteriously isn't as hidden as we would believe - you are living proof. I'm in the 586 and would like to go to a meeting - really not by myself though. Where does the thumb meet the index finger?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 10
Thanks for your message Isaiah. I tried to reply, but I don't think it went through. Three more posts for my initiation. Although, I have been wandering around this site silently for a year. I'll try to think of something worthwhile to say. For now, congratulations to you and best of luck and whatever else it takes.
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