Living Alone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: U.K.
Posts: 65
Living Alone
I was wondering who else lives alone with little outside contact? I'm alone apart from my cats and my family and friends are around a hundred miles away. I just worry that being alone could make the temptation to drink worse, i.e nobody would know etc etc.
I know you guys will recommend AA but I went to couple of meetings some time ago and didn't get on well with them. I'd like to try again but I don't want to go on my own and have no idea how I could make contact prior to a meeting to find someone to go with me, or even just say hello when I arrived.
I know you guys will recommend AA but I went to couple of meetings some time ago and didn't get on well with them. I'd like to try again but I don't want to go on my own and have no idea how I could make contact prior to a meeting to find someone to go with me, or even just say hello when I arrived.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I've been happily living alone for years..
both as a drinker...and as a non drinker.
I don't mind it at all.
However...I do make a point of having daily contact
with neighbors and AA friends...in person or by phone.
I'm pleased you are willing to give AA another go.
In some areas....and I don't know about yours....you can
call the local AA and ask to talk with someone
about recovery.
This usually ends with that person offering to meet up with
you....either at a meeting or for coffee.
If you wish to PM me your area....I'll see if I can get
you a number to call.
Please see if this info is useful for you
UK.....
UK National AA Helpline
08457 697 555
Thanks to Forum Leader Dee.....
here is info on Alcohol
and Drugs for those in the UK
http://www.talktofrank.com/
both as a drinker...and as a non drinker.
I don't mind it at all.
However...I do make a point of having daily contact
with neighbors and AA friends...in person or by phone.
I'm pleased you are willing to give AA another go.
In some areas....and I don't know about yours....you can
call the local AA and ask to talk with someone
about recovery.
This usually ends with that person offering to meet up with
you....either at a meeting or for coffee.
If you wish to PM me your area....I'll see if I can get
you a number to call.
Please see if this info is useful for you
UK.....
UK National AA Helpline
08457 697 555
Thanks to Forum Leader Dee.....
here is info on Alcohol
and Drugs for those in the UK
http://www.talktofrank.com/
Last edited by CarolD; 09-08-2010 at 12:37 AM.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Soberscot
I live alone - I lived alone when I drank and I live alone now.
It's no longer a factor.
I find it hard to get out of the house due to mobility issues but I still need to try - it's very easy to go stir crazy.
Human contact and interaction is important - for anybody - but especially for we alcoholics who can find a million reasons to drink. Although I used them for many years as excuses, boredom or loneliness are no longer sufficient reasons to drink.
I needed to reach out tho...I used SR a lot in the early days - but you're right AA sounds like a good solution to your problems, or a couple of them
I'm not an AA member but I've heard of members here who rang the local office and got a lift to a meeting, or met you outside the meeting, or for coffee...like Carol said above
If AA's really not your thing, how about some volunteer work, or a social group? (preferably an activity based one perhaps - away from pubs and clubs for now)
Keep posting here anyway - there's always folk around
D
I live alone - I lived alone when I drank and I live alone now.
It's no longer a factor.
I find it hard to get out of the house due to mobility issues but I still need to try - it's very easy to go stir crazy.
Human contact and interaction is important - for anybody - but especially for we alcoholics who can find a million reasons to drink. Although I used them for many years as excuses, boredom or loneliness are no longer sufficient reasons to drink.
I needed to reach out tho...I used SR a lot in the early days - but you're right AA sounds like a good solution to your problems, or a couple of them
I'm not an AA member but I've heard of members here who rang the local office and got a lift to a meeting, or met you outside the meeting, or for coffee...like Carol said above
If AA's really not your thing, how about some volunteer work, or a social group? (preferably an activity based one perhaps - away from pubs and clubs for now)
Keep posting here anyway - there's always folk around
D
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I like living alone--even though it probably made it easier for me to drink, it also made it easier to stay sober (for me). I didn't have to deal with the demands of other people, I could go to a meeting when I felt like it.
I second Carol's suggestion of calling the local intergroup. Alternatively, show up fifteen minutes or so before the meeting, walk up to someone and say, "Hi, I'm new, my name is ***." Chances are they will be glad to welcome you, get you some phone numbers, and talk to you after the meeting, too. If you just wander in and hide at the back of the room and don't say anything, people might not notice you.
Good luck, give it a shot!
I second Carol's suggestion of calling the local intergroup. Alternatively, show up fifteen minutes or so before the meeting, walk up to someone and say, "Hi, I'm new, my name is ***." Chances are they will be glad to welcome you, get you some phone numbers, and talk to you after the meeting, too. If you just wander in and hide at the back of the room and don't say anything, people might not notice you.
Good luck, give it a shot!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
I'm a very social person. I hated living alone and it definitely exacerbated the problem. I drank because I was alone and eventually liked that I was alone because it allowed me to drink more.
I am still relearning how to be in society without alcohol but I am making progress. I am moving soon and most likely going into a share with a friend in a very social neighborhood. It will raise certain challenges, but I feel I am ready for them and I don't want to hide out for the rest of my life.
Good luck...I hope you find what you need. I do believe it is through our relationships that we grow, so whatever you do, I hope you do something:-)
I am still relearning how to be in society without alcohol but I am making progress. I am moving soon and most likely going into a share with a friend in a very social neighborhood. It will raise certain challenges, but I feel I am ready for them and I don't want to hide out for the rest of my life.
Good luck...I hope you find what you need. I do believe it is through our relationships that we grow, so whatever you do, I hope you do something:-)
Attended By a Single Hound
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: England
Posts: 425
Carol covered this, but If you want to give a meeting another go, use the NA / AA website. There's contact numbers so you can phone and organise to meet member before you arrive to go with.
I live alone. My only family is 300 miles away...so is my cat (I just get visitation rights and food / vet bills lol -_-'). Someone mentioned volunteer work. I volunteer for a few things - great way to keep busy, keep grateful and keep clean - plus, great way to make friends. Check out your local volunteer centre or drop in to some voluntary oraganisations or shops that're local.
As well, thoguht about maybe an evening class at college or something? I see y'in the UK. There's 'confidence courses' offered at most colleges in the UK. Few of my mates swear by them and great to add to the Cv.
If you're in a city or some place where there's poetry evenings they can be a great palce to go, take a book or get talking to sensative and creative souls, hear and see people face their fears and pour themselves out to each other. Might sound odd, but they ain't just for poets and Wordsworth lovers...I wouldn't be as involved in 'em if they were :P
Then there's this plae...keep posting and best of luck. You ain't alone.
I live alone. My only family is 300 miles away...so is my cat (I just get visitation rights and food / vet bills lol -_-'). Someone mentioned volunteer work. I volunteer for a few things - great way to keep busy, keep grateful and keep clean - plus, great way to make friends. Check out your local volunteer centre or drop in to some voluntary oraganisations or shops that're local.
As well, thoguht about maybe an evening class at college or something? I see y'in the UK. There's 'confidence courses' offered at most colleges in the UK. Few of my mates swear by them and great to add to the Cv.
If you're in a city or some place where there's poetry evenings they can be a great palce to go, take a book or get talking to sensative and creative souls, hear and see people face their fears and pour themselves out to each other. Might sound odd, but they ain't just for poets and Wordsworth lovers...I wouldn't be as involved in 'em if they were :P
Then there's this plae...keep posting and best of luck. You ain't alone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
actually I live alone now and I enjoy my alone time. Everytime I lived with a person my drinking started. For me it is easier to live alone and stay sober. I am a social person and found a church group that goes out and has events. Works great for me an I have all the weekends booked. Actully it is funny since I almost always have at least 2 or 3 invitations for the weekend to do things.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 275
I live alone and really enjoy it. I do things with friends as much as I can, I wouldn't consider myself a recluse by any stretch, but at the end of the day I enjoy the space and freedom of my own house. I'm also a big time clean freak, yet another reason I enjoy it to be my own place.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I lived alone when I drank and I drank alone, I still live alone and don't drink. I'm a very introverted person (although I'm becoming more social as I continue to grow in recovery), I never attended any formal recovery program as I figured I drank alone I will recover alone and it's worked for me. In my first year of sobriety I replaced alcohol with chocolate and it worked, I gained 25 pounds but at least I was alive. I now go to a gym 5-6 days a week instead. When I first quit drinking I did attend about 6 AA meetings and during the 6 meetings I didn't feel alone for even a second, so I don't think anyone should feel uncomfortable going to a meeting alone. AA has a lot to offer even if you don't want to go to the meetings, the literature is wonderful --just take what you need and leave the rest.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: U.K.
Posts: 65
Originally Posted by tsukiko 
Carol covered this, but If you want to give a meeting another go, use the NA / AA website. There's contact numbers so you can phone and organise to meet member before you arrive to go with.
I live alone. My only family is 300 miles away...so is my cat (I just get visitation rights and food / vet bills lol -_-'). Someone mentioned volunteer work. I volunteer for a few things - great way to keep busy, keep grateful and keep clean - plus, great way to make friends. Check out your local volunteer centre or drop in to some voluntary oraganisations or shops that're local.
As well, thoguht about maybe an evening class at college or something? I see y'in the UK. There's 'confidence courses' offered at most colleges in the UK. Few of my mates swear by them and great to add to the Cv.
If you're in a city or some place where there's poetry evenings they can be a great palce to go, take a book or get talking to sensative and creative souls, hear and see people face their fears and pour themselves out to each other. Might sound odd, but they ain't just for poets and Wordsworth lovers...I wouldn't be as involved in 'em if they were :P
Then there's this plae...keep posting and best of luck. You ain't alone.
I live alone. My only family is 300 miles away...so is my cat (I just get visitation rights and food / vet bills lol -_-'). Someone mentioned volunteer work. I volunteer for a few things - great way to keep busy, keep grateful and keep clean - plus, great way to make friends. Check out your local volunteer centre or drop in to some voluntary oraganisations or shops that're local.
As well, thoguht about maybe an evening class at college or something? I see y'in the UK. There's 'confidence courses' offered at most colleges in the UK. Few of my mates swear by them and great to add to the Cv.
If you're in a city or some place where there's poetry evenings they can be a great palce to go, take a book or get talking to sensative and creative souls, hear and see people face their fears and pour themselves out to each other. Might sound odd, but they ain't just for poets and Wordsworth lovers...I wouldn't be as involved in 'em if they were :P
Then there's this plae...keep posting and best of luck. You ain't alone.
I'm actually a mature student at university and start back in a few weeks so that will keep me occupied in the daytime. I guess where it can be difficult is when you get home and the door closes and you're alone. That's the worry I might have in the weeks ahead.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by soberscot
I was wondering who else lives alone with little outside contact? I'm alone apart from my cats and my family and friends are around a hundred miles away. I just worry that being alone could make the temptation to drink worse, i.e nobody would know etc etc.
Attended By a Single Hound
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: England
Posts: 425
Originally Posted by soberscot
I'm actually a mature student at university and start back in a few weeks so that will keep me occupied in the daytime. I guess where it can be difficult is when you get home and the door closes and you're alone. That's the worry I might have in the weeks ahead.
That makes two of us
. I'm a post grad student. I've found doing volunteer work while studying full time (minimum 40 hour study a week) has proved positive in so many ways. Most university's have a volunteer service or 'job shop' or there's always the studient union where you can enquire about volunteer oppotunities. There's no obligation if you talk to someone or drop in to find out more about what's going on in your area or within your university. 
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I live alone with my dogs and cats since my kids are grown. It doesn't affect my sobriety and I actually (usually) like being alone. I don't mind it and if I need company I can call or visit someone. But, as my dad used to tell us; when you're alone at least you know you're in good company.
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