RobertHugh

I remember when I was in rehab they asked me what my triggers were for drinking and I jokingly answered, "sunlight," not aware that I was speaking more truth than I realized.

I believe the entire concept of "triggers" is dangerous. It suggests that I have an ocassion-based condition, not a chronic disease. It takes an internal condition and makes it externally driven. The truth is, I drank when I was happy and sad, employed and unemployed, in a relationship or not in a relationship.

Triggers for me are an excuse not to do the fundamental work that will change me-- it tells me that if I control my environment, I'll be safe.

I have a full-time disease that requires full-time recovery.

sunrise1

I agree, Hugh,

I don't have triggers. My mind will find a "reason" to fit whatever the occasion... I will drink to celebrate, to mourn, to de-stress, to party, anything. It is the cunning and baffling part of this problem which will seek to have me drink no matter the occasion or situation.

s

CarolD

Hmm...
I never went to a re hab or addiction center or ???
Instead I went straight into AA.

I don't recall anyone ever asking me about triggers
but I do know the BB talks about "slippery places"
I sure can relate to those!

Could that be considered a trigger? I :think so.

I do know I had to make drastic lifestyle changes
to protect my fragile early sobreity.

I got out of the hospitality industry where drinking is accepted.
I dumped my still drinking lover...we no longer "meshed"
I declined all invitations from my drunkard friends.
I declared my apartment a non drinking zone...sold the bar
No more trips to NYC for Jazz clubs.
Did not dine in French restaurants.
Quit hanging out in bars ..no more dart team.

Not until I made these changes...was I able to finally quit.

You never read posts from me about triggers
Instead I share my experiences with change.

Therefore....I suggest if something or someplace reminds
you of drinking....tempts you to romance the drink....

please do make whatever changes necessary to find
peace and joy in living sober....

Pagekeeper

What about when Bill Wilson was standing in the lobby of the Mayflower Hotel, after a business deal fell through? He stood there listening to the glasses clinking in the bar across the hall, and he thought about going in there and joining them?

Thank God he didn't. Instead, he made some calls and met Dr. Bob.

SASA

well i get tempted usually when I drive home, getting ot my car after work is a trigger, and no matter what way home I take I have to drive by the liquor store (one on each corner of the street).
Also when I am stressed and I want to forget
when I am bored and nothing is to do
when I feel lonely
when I am in override
well seeing it this way I guess every aspect of my life is a trigger (lol)

Supercrew

I have found if I am able to think past the "trigger" or "slippery spot", which as said previously could be as simple as getting into my car, (I happened to really enjoy drinking and driving), or waking up and doing yardwork and cracking a beer, and thinking to the point where it would ultimately lead me, drunk bender, jail, sick, fighting, embarassing myself, etc, it makes me realize that the first drink (no matter how fun it used to be), will lead me back to where I swear I would never go again.

The whole story of the last 27 years of my life would basically be a romancing the drink story, of how much fun I had, and the funny stuff that I barely remember that happened weekend after weekend and eventually night after night. I still can remember the triggers fondly, but the key for me is to also remember the consequences. I look at my sobriety alot like a chess game where I have to be thinking 3 moves ahead. Move number one might look brilliant, but if it in anyway involves alcohol move number two I will lose my queen, and either move 3 or 4 I will be in checkmate and I will lose, end of game. This helps me keep my resolve when the triggers arise.

Pagekeeper

Sounds to me like you're checking your motives. I do that too. A lot.

I was no smarter than Pavlov's dog when I got sober. Remember Pavlov's dog? Pavlov would ring a bell and within a few minutes he would feed the dog. After several repetitions, he discovered the dog would salivate after ringing the bell, even before food was presented, and even if he didn't feed the dog. Ring the bell and the dog drools like crazy.

That's what I was like. My "bells" were restless, irritable, and discontent. When they rang, I'd start drooling like crazy.

Supercrew

Well my motives for as long as I can remember have always been to get drunk. So now my motive is to stay sober, and even though having that one drink at the beach bar, or popping a beer while driving down the coast or out to the desert may seem like something I have always romantasized, and they first three drinks have always been the apex of that period, knowing myself it will never stop there so I have to consciously think where the 20th drink will put me so I don't pick up the first. So I think you are correct.

RobertHugh

Good point. But thank God he didn't decide that his problem was clinking glasses and bars.

LaFemme

Pagekeeper...I love your Avatar, I am a big fan of Richter, and when I saw this painting at the show at the MoMa, a woman behind me said it looked just like me (from the back of course) so I've always been fond of this one in particular:-)

Since everything was essentially a trigger for me, I'm not sure how I could have specific triggers. The only thing I never did drunk was ride (horses) when my horse died 5 years ago, I didn't even have that.

So, I think I agree that triggers are kind of deceptive. That said, I always drank too much at my parents because of other issues I have...(I would hide bottles in my closet when I visited, sound familiar)...visited them this weekend and even though there were open containers everywhere I was fine. Not sure what that says about triggers but I thought it was relevant:-)

Pagekeeper

True that!

I do get your point. I drank around the clock. Didn't need an excuse. When I got sober, though, there were certain places where I was more vulnerable. Our book doesn't deny this. We have a list of questions in Working with Others on page 101 that addresses it:

For the record, my husband drank every day for my first 5 months of sobriety. I was around alcohol every day. It was in my house. I was never tempted to drink, not once. That was God doing for me what I could not do for myself.

The only time I felt unsteady was when I drove by the restaurant near my house--the one where I used to drink. That, to me, is the cunning, baffling, and powerful part of the mental obsession. Matter of fact, at about 6 months sober, I realized that I hadn't looked in the parking lot of that restaurant in weeks. It was a profound moment for me.

Zencat

Heres an interesting article from Psychology Today: Triggers and relapse, a craving connection for addicts.

I have found that CBT and REBT has helped me the most in my addiction treatment. It is the way I roll. So triggers or clue's have a place in my recovery method. An external cue that could trigger me to drink has as much power as I allow it to have. I have learned to disarm such clues as I am not powerless over the influence external events has on my intention to remain sober.

Its interesting to discuss differing points of view regarding recovery methodology. One glaring truth about the members here at SoberRecovery.com is...there is more than one way to achieve a healthy sober lifestyle. I choose to celebrate the differences these days or just disagree to agree. Either way...everybody deserves a chance in recovery, one method or the other.

Pagekeeper

I don't really believe in triggers, per say, either. I don't think the bar at the Mayflower Hotel was what triggered Bill to consider going inside. I think it was what was going on inside Bill. He'd just had a business deal fall through, and that's an event that might cause some character defects to rear their ugly heads--pride, financial security, self-esteem. In a nutshell, it was his spiritual malady that triggered him. The spiritual malady triggers the obsession. So basically every trigger is the spiritual malady. It just manifests in our consciousness as a physical thing outside of ourselves.

I think the reason our book asks us to review those questions (page 101)when going to a place where alcohol is served is because we are not always aware of our spiritual condition or whether we are on solid spiritual ground.

That's really cool you got to see Richter's work! I have yet to see it. saw Chagall last summer and it was magnificant!

keithj

I hear what you're saying, Pagekeeper, and I generally feel the same. But, I absolutely believe in triggers as meaning that certain situations, people, places, smells, etc that are associated with a certain activity will continue to be associated with that activity for some time until the association is sufficiently weakened by lack of reward. Everything in Pysch 101 tells me this is how our brains work in a classical conditioning model.

My experience informs me that knowing all of that will do nothing to help me recover from alcoholism.

Lock somebody up for a number of years where that reward is no longer obtainable. Out the gate at 8, in the spoon by noon.

All this stuff about trigger avoidance and relapse prevention is all very good if you are a problem drinker trying to stay away from booze. And long term, it fails over and over for the alcoholic. Experience, my own or that of others like me, is key.

But, when an alcoholic on this forum tries to stay away from triggers, think through the drink, or some other relapse prevention too, and goes out and gets drunk, so many rush in and tell the poor guy to get back on the horse and do the same thing again.

RobbyRobot

Triggers are a dangerous concept. So is alcoholism. Nonetheless, triggers are in my toolbox, and they are useful to me when they are respected with rigorous honesty and responsible righteous actions. Triggers set up excuses for me to drink. If I do not change my ongoing useless actions after being triggered than the excuse will have its way with me and off to drunk-land I go with a dumbfounded look all over my face. Excuses get (got) me drunk. Triggers warn me in ample good time and in a no-nonsense manner. I choose to not ignore them. Simple enough for this sober drunk.

All that internal/external stuff you are speaking of from your experiences with drinking I'm not understanding, you know? Not a problem. I also drank for whatever reasons good, bad, whatever, just like you. Who cared about why I drank? Not me, that's for sure LOL.

Today is different.

edit: today is different in the sense that whatever drives me to drink I will respect and do the right sober thing. In that way alone i care about what got me drunk.

Rob

Pagekeeper

I completely agree with you, keith. I also agree staying away from people, places, and things is not the solution. The problem is the spiritual malady, and until it is overcome, us real alkies are doomed to drink again, regardless. However, some people have to be removed from their surroundings in order to buy a little time. This is where I think rehabs can be useful. To me, avoiding people, places, and things is the same idea--one is buying a little time. Even back in the day, they'd lock them up for a bit. That's where Bill was when he had his white light experience. Is the solution the lockup itself, the removal from one's usual environment? No, not at all. It just buys a little time to practice the solution and develop a solid spiritual ground. If that makes sense.

Zencat

.

I had an excuse or not to drink alcoholically. I may have had nothing on my mind...or so I erroneously believed and just drank automatically. The deal was I got loaded because that's what I did. It wasn't until I started to change my behavior...thought or no thought involved, did I change. I happened to use strategies that supported my change in behavior. But ultimately it was me that made the changes. Now I could feel remorseful, angry, hurt, rebellious and on and on about my changes in behavior. Or I could support my behavioral change with positive affirmations that my changes were for my best interest.

The bottom line was for me was: acting differently and then bring my mind on board. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results stopped when I stopped doing those things...then and only then did my expectations change.

DayTrader

I know better than to mess with certain things for too long. Having dinner at my old bar of choice once in a while.....no biggie. Going down there every evening to "hang out" - not so smart.

I can see my disease using darn near anything as a "trigger." Anything could "trigger" me to think a relapse is okay. IF I'm in fit spiritual shape though, the odds go down substantially that much of anything will lead me into a relapse. IF something "triggers" a relapse in me, the root of the problem isn't that I "was triggered." The root of the problem was that I went back to self reliance and progressively got sicker and sicker until my alcoholism was too strong to resist on my own.

CarolD

Page...you popped up a memory buble.

I once owned a watch with only 5's marking the hours..
My "cute" way of saying it was always cocktail time.

Carol

mwstylee

My trigger is "any minute I'm not at the office" which is very dangerous thinking, I've come to find out.