Am I becoming an Alcoholic?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8
Am I becoming an Alcoholic?
Hello, I would not consider myself an alcoholic, but I fear that I am on that road to become one.
I never use to drink very much, a couple of glasses on the weekend or a couple of beers while watching football.
Back in October, I got laid off from a job that I was at for 10 years and my anxiety and stress went off the charts. I started drinking much more, like every night.
I don’t get drunk. But I get “buzzed”
Lately, I think about it during the day, I only do it at night and the worst part if that I have started hiding it from my wife. I keep a bottle of Scotch hidden from her and I only drink after she goes to bed.
I have never hid anything from my wife and I find myself very concerned about this.
I am employed once again and the stress and anxiety levels are much reduced, but I still am drinking and the amount is increasing as its taken a larger amount to get the same buzz.
Am I on the road to alcoholism? And if so, how do I stop because I don’t think I can right now.
Thank you
I never use to drink very much, a couple of glasses on the weekend or a couple of beers while watching football.
Back in October, I got laid off from a job that I was at for 10 years and my anxiety and stress went off the charts. I started drinking much more, like every night.
I don’t get drunk. But I get “buzzed”
Lately, I think about it during the day, I only do it at night and the worst part if that I have started hiding it from my wife. I keep a bottle of Scotch hidden from her and I only drink after she goes to bed.
I have never hid anything from my wife and I find myself very concerned about this.
I am employed once again and the stress and anxiety levels are much reduced, but I still am drinking and the amount is increasing as its taken a larger amount to get the same buzz.
Am I on the road to alcoholism? And if so, how do I stop because I don’t think I can right now.
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Welcome.
Sounds like you are wise to be concerned.
FYI: The ONLY requirement for AA membership is a DESIRE to stop drinking. Period.
AA is in virtually every phone book and on the internet. Have you considered finding a meeting?
blessings
zbear
Sounds like you are wise to be concerned.
FYI: The ONLY requirement for AA membership is a DESIRE to stop drinking. Period.
AA is in virtually every phone book and on the internet. Have you considered finding a meeting?
blessings
zbear
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 88
i see a few red flags. thinking about it during the day, drinking alone/every night, hiding it from your wife, increasing tolerance..these are not good signs. it's good that you recognized it. if you are concerned about your drinking i would recommend you try to quit.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 758
Alcoholic, problem drinker, just drinking too much or when you don't want too...all the labels don't really matter much. What matter is do you feel it's becoming too much or causing some problems for you? if so then don't worry about what to call it, if it's starting to become something that bothers you/causes problem then stopping now would be the wise thing.
Welcome to SR
Steve
Welcome to SR
Steve
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,786
If you really can't quit drinking on your own I'd suggest getting help, either from a doctor to get thru withdrawals safely, and/or a good counselor to talk about things and to help you in staying sober. There's also AA, as well as SMART, LifeRing, and other programs for staying sober.
It's good now that you're thinking of quitting as it gets harder to quit the further you go in your drinking career. I know I went from innocent drinker of one glass a day to a wino who gave up coffee for wine in the morning to stop the shakes in half a year. Do'nt wait to arrest this disease (or whatever you call it). Stop it before it stops you.
Welcome to SR!
PS, Spock is my favorite tos character!
It's good now that you're thinking of quitting as it gets harder to quit the further you go in your drinking career. I know I went from innocent drinker of one glass a day to a wino who gave up coffee for wine in the morning to stop the shakes in half a year. Do'nt wait to arrest this disease (or whatever you call it). Stop it before it stops you.
Welcome to SR!
PS, Spock is my favorite tos character!
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
"I don't get drunk. I get buzzed" I used to say that ALL the time, like it made a difference in how much of a problem it was for me. But that was just me..
If you're not an alcoholic you'll have no problem quitting for a month or few.. in fact you wont even think about it.
If you do find it difficult, so have many of us here.. whatever label we decide to slap on ourselves. You'll find lots of support here
If you're not an alcoholic you'll have no problem quitting for a month or few.. in fact you wont even think about it.
If you do find it difficult, so have many of us here.. whatever label we decide to slap on ourselves. You'll find lots of support here
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I never knew which drink on what day slid me into alcoholism.
I don't consider it is important to pin point when or why
I had many red flags that I ignored in order to drink.
I was shocked to discover I could not simply put down the bottle.
I continued to drink...even tho I desperately wanted to quit.
It was a de moralizing and fustrating time in my life....
Here is a link to excerpts from the book that convinced me
to finally give up drinking....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I certainly hope it will open your eyes too
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum....
I don't consider it is important to pin point when or why
I had many red flags that I ignored in order to drink.
I was shocked to discover I could not simply put down the bottle.
I continued to drink...even tho I desperately wanted to quit.
It was a de moralizing and fustrating time in my life....
Here is a link to excerpts from the book that convinced me
to finally give up drinking....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I certainly hope it will open your eyes too
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum....
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Hi and Welcome,
If only we could see the invisible line before we crossed it. But, we can't and once it's crossed there is no going back.
You started using alcohol to self-medicate your depression and anxiety due to being laid off work. Now, you are working again, but still drinking. That's what happens. We think that we are in control of the alcohol, but before we blink, the alcohol is in control of us and we are addicted.
If you think you have a problem, and drinking alone and hiding it from your wife indicates this, I hope you will take around here and read and learn. You can stop drinking and live a sober life and we are here to support you.
If only we could see the invisible line before we crossed it. But, we can't and once it's crossed there is no going back.
You started using alcohol to self-medicate your depression and anxiety due to being laid off work. Now, you are working again, but still drinking. That's what happens. We think that we are in control of the alcohol, but before we blink, the alcohol is in control of us and we are addicted.
If you think you have a problem, and drinking alone and hiding it from your wife indicates this, I hope you will take around here and read and learn. You can stop drinking and live a sober life and we are here to support you.
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,202
Buzz is practically a formula of drunk, and if you're hiding it/etc... yeah those are the signs, but ... for you to realize it is the most important thing, as then you can begin your quest for help. I don't know what path you'll go on but ... if you feel you cannot do it yourself then I would suggest AA and also to stay on this site to talk about it until you feel you have a grip on it I sure remember my beginning alcohol days and my anxiety, I would drink to DROWN my anxiety as I called it... wow, almost 5 whole years ago... wow, wow... and wow :-p.
I sure remember my beginning alcohol days and my anxiety, I would drink to DROWN my anxiety as I called it... wow, almost 5 whole years ago... wow, wow... and wow :-p.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Spock, when you mentioned the idea of getting buzzed as opposed to all out drunk, that reminds me of when I would make sure I had at least a small dose when I did not have much left to my night. My problem was that I needed it every day and enough to be intoxicated, and that was how I was for about 10 years after a more adventurous/tumultuous relationship with it. If I had to be out with a friend or a group, I would make sure I had the ability to drive home when I wanted to leave and that would mean having either NOTHING or MAXIMUM 1 drink with those people, so that I was free and capable of getting home so that I could drink. (It was to my advantage not to drink a lot or at all in front of others too, I felt.) It was a drag to have little time left to drink, but I would get in 2 or 3 for a slight dose. That doesn't sound like the end of the world, and it is not as bad as having to have a case and then missing the next day of work; but the reality is that I would have 6 or 8 or 10 again in the near future - to get back to NORMAL. It's the "normal" that is the sad part and not that different from someone who would have to needed to take in way much more. The need to have it is the similarity to others dealing with the addiction to drinking and it's the same bondage and suffering.
I don't know whether it is the right thing for you to tell your wife right now about this reailty and concern you have. If you want it to stop, there is a strong possibility you would not have a choice but to be completely honest about it. At the least, if you want to try to stop now, then you could start out by saying you do not want any, and have her on your side with that. It could be that you would stumble and wind up having more again, and then it would come out that the situation actually is worse. She may even know that you are keeping it from her.
Whatever the case, as has been said, now is the time to put the brakes on it, so that you can prevent yourself from so much additional hardship. You have options to ask for support in doing that, including posting here. You're not the only person to be dealing with this!
I don't know whether it is the right thing for you to tell your wife right now about this reailty and concern you have. If you want it to stop, there is a strong possibility you would not have a choice but to be completely honest about it. At the least, if you want to try to stop now, then you could start out by saying you do not want any, and have her on your side with that. It could be that you would stumble and wind up having more again, and then it would come out that the situation actually is worse. She may even know that you are keeping it from her.
Whatever the case, as has been said, now is the time to put the brakes on it, so that you can prevent yourself from so much additional hardship. You have options to ask for support in doing that, including posting here. You're not the only person to be dealing with this!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: andalusia alabama
Posts: 10
hi all Love the sharing sounds like most of you know that you have a Chemical problem.
ME TO!!!!!Must be in the right place.
Wolfman said it right Awareness..Surrender and growth. I was so hard headed I tried it my way for for to long. I got so much worse not really wanting to Understand the problem. So I changed the words from mis-understanding to understanding. Along with a great Sponsor. I started the Journey to recovery.. Oh yes hiding things from those we love was bad, but worse I was hiding it from myself. Go to some meetings.
Good luck
Tommyg
ME TO!!!!!Must be in the right place.
Wolfman said it right Awareness..Surrender and growth. I was so hard headed I tried it my way for for to long. I got so much worse not really wanting to Understand the problem. So I changed the words from mis-understanding to understanding. Along with a great Sponsor. I started the Journey to recovery.. Oh yes hiding things from those we love was bad, but worse I was hiding it from myself. Go to some meetings.
Good luck
Tommyg
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8
Thanks for all the replies. I am not sure what my next step is exactly.
I want to walk away, but my brain is saying that we need to finish the bottle I have first then quit.
I dont know if I could quit with it in the house and I dont know if I could bring myself to pour it out either.
What should I do?
I want to walk away, but my brain is saying that we need to finish the bottle I have first then quit.
I dont know if I could quit with it in the house and I dont know if I could bring myself to pour it out either.
What should I do?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
If you haven't poured it out yet have someone else do it for you. I remember my last night, after 8, which was cutting down, I told my wife I would have the last two in the box and stop. She poured them down the drain and I haven't drank since.
My own experience tells me you should try to get to the end of the night having your buzz so you won't panic with a half buzz. When you are tired to sleep, pour the rest out and don't buy anymore the next day.
My own experience tells me you should try to get to the end of the night having your buzz so you won't panic with a half buzz. When you are tired to sleep, pour the rest out and don't buy anymore the next day.
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
I would bet your wife knows exactly what you are hiding. Maybe shes waiting for you to talk to her about it because shes not sure how bad your thinking really is.
My hub never says anything to me (he has one drink with me) and thats it for him but I know deep down hes concerned.
Im more like you it seems, Im thinking about that drink on the way home from work, you know, Im stressed, had an alcoholic family member die from alcoholism a few months ago, so my hub is letting me do it.
I actually realize I need to stop this aswell or Ill become like my sister (dead).
But then again, Im more like you, Ive become addicted to the nightly ritual to wind down and all that, drinking the last drop. I see my neighbours throwing their empty bottles in the bins and I think, well, everyone does it, its social, normal behaviour. But its not when we are thinking about doing it hours before hand, just like - I need to do the washing up tonight.
Im with you, we can beat this thing together, I didnt drink at all last night, I actually fell asleep on the sofa and this morning I do feel better for it. Im not drinking tonight either and the best thing to do is to completely remove it from the house and not buy anymore. It is in our mind, we can try and control it - we dont need it. It just grabs us each day, because we let it. We need to stop before it all gets way out of control.
Jo
My hub never says anything to me (he has one drink with me) and thats it for him but I know deep down hes concerned.
Im more like you it seems, Im thinking about that drink on the way home from work, you know, Im stressed, had an alcoholic family member die from alcoholism a few months ago, so my hub is letting me do it.
I actually realize I need to stop this aswell or Ill become like my sister (dead).
But then again, Im more like you, Ive become addicted to the nightly ritual to wind down and all that, drinking the last drop. I see my neighbours throwing their empty bottles in the bins and I think, well, everyone does it, its social, normal behaviour. But its not when we are thinking about doing it hours before hand, just like - I need to do the washing up tonight.
Im with you, we can beat this thing together, I didnt drink at all last night, I actually fell asleep on the sofa and this morning I do feel better for it. Im not drinking tonight either and the best thing to do is to completely remove it from the house and not buy anymore. It is in our mind, we can try and control it - we dont need it. It just grabs us each day, because we let it. We need to stop before it all gets way out of control.
Jo
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Spock, I think what Sudz advised is a decent way to go with it. I am guessing you have half a huge bottle of scotch or something and you are partially seeing it as a waste of a product and not just feeling like you are torn about giving it up. Ideally someone could take it for you and enjoy it, since it sounds like you definitely need it out of the house. But not everybody has friends that are into scotch. I think I had only 3 or 4 beers when I stopped (not a normal "fill")....and I just shut down for the night by going to sleep early. And then did not buy any new ones. It sounds like you are getting ready to put a stop to drinking, and maybe you don't want to go X number of times still drinking it. What do you want to do with it when you think of how it is adding problems for you?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: TX
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by Spock 
I don’t get drunk. But I get “buzzed”
Lately, I think about it during the day, I only do it at night and the worst part if that I have started hiding it from my wife. I keep a bottle of Scotch hidden from her and I only drink after she goes to bed.
I have never hid anything from my wife and I find myself very concerned about this.
I still am drinking and the amount is increasing as its taken a larger amount to get the same buzz.
Am I on the road to alcoholism? And if so, how do I stop because I don’t think I can right now.
Thank you
Lately, I think about it during the day, I only do it at night and the worst part if that I have started hiding it from my wife. I keep a bottle of Scotch hidden from her and I only drink after she goes to bed.
I have never hid anything from my wife and I find myself very concerned about this.
I still am drinking and the amount is increasing as its taken a larger amount to get the same buzz.
Am I on the road to alcoholism? And if so, how do I stop because I don’t think I can right now.
Thank you
I used to think about drinking during the day, then at night on a Fri or Sat if I couldn't drink for whatever reason I would consider it a waste if I wasn't drinking cause I had the next morning to recover and I would be wasting a Saturday or Sunday morning when I had nothing to do. Then it got to worrying about it cause I knew I was gonna get plowed and feel like crap the next day.
Then I worried when I made a drink and sat there looking at it feeling like a loser but then pick it up after a while.
Then I worried cause I could drink a fifth of whiskey and get up the next day and function just fine then do it again.
I could go on....But I'm sick of worrying.
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Welcome Spock -
I know I quote this passage a lot on SR, but I just love it as it helped put my "am I really an alcoholic" question to bed once and for all...
One of my favorite quotes about the "Am I an alcoholic?" question comes from the book Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp.
When you question your alcoholism, you say to yourself: If I am an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink and if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't need to. That's a nice piece of logic. You say: People who aren't alcoholics do not lie in bed at two-thirty in the morning wondering if they're alcoholics. A good reality check.
I know I quote this passage a lot on SR, but I just love it as it helped put my "am I really an alcoholic" question to bed once and for all...
One of my favorite quotes about the "Am I an alcoholic?" question comes from the book Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp.
When you question your alcoholism, you say to yourself: If I am an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink and if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't need to. That's a nice piece of logic. You say: People who aren't alcoholics do not lie in bed at two-thirty in the morning wondering if they're alcoholics. A good reality check.
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