panic attack today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
panic attack today
I had my first panic attack today. I was rolling along fine and getting a lot done. Then a problem arose that was not in my power to fix. It is a financial result of where I am because of drinking. I am working on fixing it super hard. I was out on estimates all morning. I even took my daughter along on a few of them. Potentially, I was making great progress.
I think it was just that high thinking of all the potential I was creating, and it all came crashing down. And it started to cycle in my head and my chest got tight.
So I just went in my garage and sat down. This is only day three and the instinct came out of nowhere to "just have one beer" to relax. Man, it wasn't so much the beer, it was I wanted to hide again.
So I went outside for an hour and cut, split and stacked wood like a madman, broke a nice sweat, and thought about what I needed to do on Monday to start fixing my problems. What were my best solutions, and what were my worst. The worst was for me to drink, clear as day, simple as Simon, not even a question about it. I still felt like for tonight, I would feel better, but I had to look further down the road and that road gets ugly.
Anyway, I didn't reach for the first and doing fine now. Happy to have found an outlet for my early recovery.
I think it was just that high thinking of all the potential I was creating, and it all came crashing down. And it started to cycle in my head and my chest got tight.
So I just went in my garage and sat down. This is only day three and the instinct came out of nowhere to "just have one beer" to relax. Man, it wasn't so much the beer, it was I wanted to hide again.
So I went outside for an hour and cut, split and stacked wood like a madman, broke a nice sweat, and thought about what I needed to do on Monday to start fixing my problems. What were my best solutions, and what were my worst. The worst was for me to drink, clear as day, simple as Simon, not even a question about it. I still felt like for tonight, I would feel better, but I had to look further down the road and that road gets ugly.
Anyway, I didn't reach for the first and doing fine now. Happy to have found an outlet for my early recovery.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
:ghug3
GREAT ACT OF KINDNESS to yourself !!!!!!!
You stayed in the moment.
You understood that it was just your body 'talking'
and not anyting 'real'.
WOOHOO!!!!!!
Buy yourself a new pair of socks or something !!!! WELL DONE!!!
and that's how it happens. That is true PROGRESS.
another day sober. thanks for sharing that.
GREAT ACT OF KINDNESS to yourself !!!!!!!
You stayed in the moment.
You understood that it was just your body 'talking'
and not anyting 'real'.
WOOHOO!!!!!!
Buy yourself a new pair of socks or something !!!! WELL DONE!!!
and that's how it happens. That is true PROGRESS.
another day sober. thanks for sharing that.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Hang in there rimmy...on day 6 myself again..met you yesterday or day before...memorys a bit vacant ,wit all the brain cells ive wiped..i gotta daughter too,looks a younger version of yours..blonde similar features...ive also gotta whole pile of debt too,funnily enough..an you guessed tryin to work my butt off to keep the wolves from the door...its not easy,in ,the current economic climate to make a decent wage.. needin to pull out all the stops..one thing for sure bein sobers goin to increase my chances of succes ten fold..so feelin all this too...dont mean to witter on to much..good to meet yeh...best of luck..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Good for you, Rimmy! I found it very, very helpful to say outloud (posting here being the same :-) about how I was feeling when an urge struck. It's like a mental temptation dump and kinda puts things in perspective.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: preston
Posts: 5
I signed up on here just toask anybody a question.... im only 22 and iv been drinking spirits HEAVILY for a year. on average i drink 14units a day of spirit 5 days a week. despite the obvious change that iv experianced mentally, my body is always making me feel like im going to die or pass out as my chest feels tight all the time and i have very awkward aches in certain parts of my body and i get random burts of sharp pain occasionally. Im trying not to sound too dramatic, i just really want to know if anybody else feels like this??? is it just anxiety?? am i killing myself?? (IM NOT ASKING FOR AN MEDICAL OPINION, i just dont have somebody else to ask)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Somewhere in the midwest
Posts: 99
You need to see a doctor and get checked out and also see about a medical detox. Your body is trying to tell you something. Listen to it and act on it before it gets more serious... and please, come back and keep talking.
Nellie
Nellie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Awesome hold out Rimmy! I remember my first big panic crave just two months ago and it was horrible. I buried myself here, reading and posting and got over it but it was not pleasant to say the least.
Keep going!
Keep going!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: preston
Posts: 5
every1 knows where the doctor is but i never seem to think they'll take me seriousley so i never go (just another drunk etc) but i always feel like im going to vomit my limbs out and wondered if this was a comman experiance... thnks for replying neway
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
Poundsterling, most people (even doctor's) are very understanding. I finally was forced to go to the doctor this spring (poison oak) and I told him about my drinking habits (HONESTLY! NO LIES!). He didn't look at me cross eyed. He's a doctor. I wasn't bragging, I was seeking help because I was afraid to detox.
He told me about his uncles who used to drink, and how he overdid it at one point when he was younger, but not to my extent. He educated me on what to watch for and when to hit the emergency room if I detoxed at home, or where to go to do in-patient.
I struggled through those first 3 or 4 days and am now on day 6. My shakes are gone, I'm enjoying the flavor of food again, I had my first solid crap in years today (sorry, but that's a celebratory thing for me), I'm coping with my stress without guzzling it away... I'm actually looking for jobs online because I can actually accept one without wondering "how will I drink", I'm not falling asleep every time I watch a show or hockey game with my girl in the evenings, I can take my daughter out driving with me etc... I'm still very very stressed and angry and upset, but I'm not yelling and huff puffing around, I'm trying to do something about it.
I'm still me, which is what I forgot. I'm not somebody different at the core, I'm just able to be a better me. And it's just beginning. I'm getting the night sweats bad now, which is gross. But I know it's my body healing. And I am eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and lots of snacks, drinking lots of water and seltzer and ginger ale... and I already went from 167 - 160.
So go to your doctor and talk to him/her. Be honest. Go through the detox and see how it feels on the sober side. I'd fogotten and it's all new again.
Also, you would get more response if you reposted as a new thread at the top of the forum. I'm sure a lot of people missed your message.
Rimmy
He told me about his uncles who used to drink, and how he overdid it at one point when he was younger, but not to my extent. He educated me on what to watch for and when to hit the emergency room if I detoxed at home, or where to go to do in-patient.
I struggled through those first 3 or 4 days and am now on day 6. My shakes are gone, I'm enjoying the flavor of food again, I had my first solid crap in years today (sorry, but that's a celebratory thing for me), I'm coping with my stress without guzzling it away... I'm actually looking for jobs online because I can actually accept one without wondering "how will I drink", I'm not falling asleep every time I watch a show or hockey game with my girl in the evenings, I can take my daughter out driving with me etc... I'm still very very stressed and angry and upset, but I'm not yelling and huff puffing around, I'm trying to do something about it.
I'm still me, which is what I forgot. I'm not somebody different at the core, I'm just able to be a better me. And it's just beginning. I'm getting the night sweats bad now, which is gross. But I know it's my body healing. And I am eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and lots of snacks, drinking lots of water and seltzer and ginger ale... and I already went from 167 - 160.
So go to your doctor and talk to him/her. Be honest. Go through the detox and see how it feels on the sober side. I'd fogotten and it's all new again.
Also, you would get more response if you reposted as a new thread at the top of the forum. I'm sure a lot of people missed your message.
Rimmy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: preston
Posts: 5
thank you so much for your response, i do plan on going to the doctor but it scares me so much somebody seeing me that vunerable. thats the type of feeling that triggers my need for a drink in the first place. i used to be such a proud , confident person.... i guess that is still inside me sumwhere.... it will be sum kind of a personal revolution for me to ask a professional for help (i always thaught i would get through anything life threw at me). After 2 responses im already overwhelmed by this forum i think this the start of the end hopefully, it helps to know that you'r not alone in this struggle... i think i might have lost another friend because i was drunk today their quickly running out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 410
poundsterling,
The reason I was so afraid for years to say to to others that I needed to "quit" was my pride. If I were to tell my family I was going to quit drinking and they saw me three days later drinking a beer at the beach, I would be a failure. I was more concerned with how others looked at me than how I felt about myself. Meanwhile, they all felt I drank too much already, but to me, that was better than failing. Pride is bad. But that was me.
You don't have to go tell the world. My wife of course (she's finally understanding I'm not wired the same as her), and her mother and sister live upstairs, so them. and I told one uncle whom I hang with and my brother in law whom I hang with. My doctor and a business associate who is also a friend.
I specifically asked them to keep it to themselves. Others may notice a difference in me (already lost another pound and am more mild mannered in a good way), but they can ask or figure it out on their own. My brother in law is like, "you should tell everyone" and I'm like, "NO WAY". But to have a close circle of support has helped a great deal, and it's not like they didn't think I drank too much anyway. They are HAPPY for me.
Anyway, find a reason to go to the doctor, and then mention it as a side thing. If you really want to stop, you can. At least get your first glimpse of sobriety under your belt. It took me a bunch of tries and a bunch of years, so don't ever feel bad for trying. But START somewhere!!! Ya know what I mean.
The reason I was so afraid for years to say to to others that I needed to "quit" was my pride. If I were to tell my family I was going to quit drinking and they saw me three days later drinking a beer at the beach, I would be a failure. I was more concerned with how others looked at me than how I felt about myself. Meanwhile, they all felt I drank too much already, but to me, that was better than failing. Pride is bad. But that was me.
You don't have to go tell the world. My wife of course (she's finally understanding I'm not wired the same as her), and her mother and sister live upstairs, so them. and I told one uncle whom I hang with and my brother in law whom I hang with. My doctor and a business associate who is also a friend.
I specifically asked them to keep it to themselves. Others may notice a difference in me (already lost another pound and am more mild mannered in a good way), but they can ask or figure it out on their own. My brother in law is like, "you should tell everyone" and I'm like, "NO WAY". But to have a close circle of support has helped a great deal, and it's not like they didn't think I drank too much anyway. They are HAPPY for me.
Anyway, find a reason to go to the doctor, and then mention it as a side thing. If you really want to stop, you can. At least get your first glimpse of sobriety under your belt. It took me a bunch of tries and a bunch of years, so don't ever feel bad for trying. But START somewhere!!! Ya know what I mean.
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