debs

Could we be perverse enough to want more..............

MORE!....

After a 5th is gone..

W...... TF.

I mean, really.

WTF.

debs

Good clip.

YouTube - Ferguson Speaks From The Heart

yeahgr8

It's never enough Debs, when you go through the steps you will see that expression does not just apply to alcohol if you are an alcoholic:-)

bananagrrrl

Because we are alcoholics and we never know where the first drink will lead us.

My prayers are with you.

CarolD

I just figure I'm adicted to more of everything
Gratefully ... for years now ....I've settled into 2.....
God and AA......

NEOMARXIST

Pretty Simple really. You're an alcoholic. Not rocket-science.

Untill you cut that first sip out of your life than you ain't never gonna stop drinking booze.


If you never take that first sip then you ain't got nothing to worry about.

least

CarolD said it best: you'll stay sober when you want to be sober MORE than you want to drink. Please try something you haven't tried before, whether it be AA, another recovery program, counseling... just do something different. Your life depends on it. (((hugs)))

debs

Ya know that familiar feeling of next day regret?

Yeah, me too.

Im calling my therapist today...

Just occurred to me the reason I havent called him lately is cos of money...

I got a great job now...

So Im gonna call him while I still got it..

I stayed sober the longest when I was seeing him before.

Forgive me for being such ... well, just forgive me.

I love you guys. Thanks so much for being there regardless of my stupid repetitive mistakes.

D

Astro

The insanity can stop when we choose, debs. I had to want sobriety more than anything else.

If you can afford therapy now that's great. But often churches offer free counseling and recovery programs so sobriety doesn't require money, only the desire to stay sober.

crown86

Debs

know your pain well and where you are at...yep it's a black hole that can't be fed enough...a fith for turned to half gallon then half gallon with an S and a 30 pack...the beast is never full and just gets fatter and fatter...you will NEVER supress his hunger. He will kill you first.

The next day regret...yep know that too...I drank again because of it and fed the beast some more.

I pray you will break the cycle somehow.

Good luck my prayers are with you

zoomer

When I was crying out to God yet again for help, a little thought came into my head. AA. Very simple and very quiet. It calmed me down because I was crying up a storm. The next day I got my **** together as much as I could and made it to a meeting. I did as suggested from that day on. That was 5 and a half years ago. It was free, only took a few hours a week out of my life and I made friends. I'm not a big book thumper,not an AA pusher,but you have a child to think of and your going to screw things up yet again. Your so young to be screwing up so bad.

DanielP

I might bit a bit thick this morning--are you saying you drank a fifth last night? If so, I know the next day is like stepping into the pit of doom and despair. My advice would be to keep talking, sharing, blathering away, whatever comes into your head, either here or in a notebook. The next time a drink comes to mind, read what you wrote "the last time-day after."

You'll recover. The world is a pretty cool place sober--you have that to look forward to.

Lionne

I agree with least, and I'm glad you decided to call your therapist, since you say that it helped you stay sober in the past. Whatever helps you stay sober...

Neo said something very true about that first sip. At some times that's all it is about, honestly. I had a pretty rough last week because I was angsting over an appointment I had this monday. And for the first time in months, I was imagining how much relief these first few sips of alcohol would give me. Did I follow through and drink? No. Instead i decided to reach out to friends and tell them about my anxiety. Trying to cope through drinking was the best I could do in the past, and it was hard at times to learn new ways to deal with problems. But in the end it all boiled down to not take that first sip and knowing that once I'd do it, no amount would ever be enough...because I'm an alcoholic and I wouldn't stand a chance.

Dee74

I'm glad you're calling in some reinforcements Debs - fighting this on your own gets so exhausting.

It's a good call
take care, mate
D

debs

The meeting with my therapist went well.

But what did I do as soon as I left?

I guess you can imagine.

I'm so sick and tired...

of being sick.............. and tired.

Dee74

Deb - as long as you want to keep trying there'll be people here to support and advise you

As I said to someone else today it took me 15 years of trying (and not trying)
to 'get' it...I had to drink *past* rock bottom to get there tho.

I don't recommend it.
I pray that you stop your fall a long time before I did.

D

debs

Please help me.

Please make it stop

CarolD

Debs.....sorry to know your having difficulties again.

Prayers for healing going out

Dee74

If you want it to stop - stop it Debs.

Tip it out.
Don't buy anymore booze.

Call some AA numbers.

Walk into the next meeting.
Walk into a Salvation Army detox/rehab.
Walk into the ER.

Call your folks.

These are all things you could do - pretty much right now.

D

Lenina

(((debs))))

I'm sorry you're in such pain, it's a pain I know all too well.

Is it at all possible to go inpatient? That's what it took for me. I needed to be in a safe place to learn about the disease of alcoholism. I was so horrified at the time, that I was actually in rehab, but it's the best thing I ever did.

Please don't stop trying. Be honest with your therapist. Perhaps you can give a call tomorrow and let it be known you're in crisis.

Much love to you,

Lenina