Alcoholic or not? I dont know what to think..
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 37
Alcoholic or not? I dont know what to think..
Las year around March I had a breakdown due to what I now perceive to be taking on everyone else's worries and neglecting me which I gather is co-dependance. I went from drinking alcohol at the weekends to drinking every second day or so for 2 weeks. I then called a friend, herself a RA who then took me to AA the next day. Huge shock to the system, but with the help of my friend and our lengthy chats I was then able to see the similarities i.e always feeling 'less than' everyone else, how I can obsess about relationships, my control issues etc etc. So I then started to regard myself as an alcoholic, even though my friends and family thought differently.
A couple of weeks ago I started going to CoDA, and bought and started reading their Big Book, I felt like this is what I had been looking for, this was me!
So the recurring thought 'im not an alcoholic' came up, I really have been questioning if I am afterall. So on tuesday night I went to the supermarket and along with my other shopping bought a miniture bottle of wine, which I had when I got home. So ive had 1 glas of wine this week and hav had no compulsion, obsession for another. I was never addicted to it.
So surely you have to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic right? I'm sorry I dont want to offend anyone im just trying to find answers, because I know my friends in recovery are biased aswell as my family and friends who think im not so I cant really get any help from either sides.
A couple of weeks ago I started going to CoDA, and bought and started reading their Big Book, I felt like this is what I had been looking for, this was me!
So the recurring thought 'im not an alcoholic' came up, I really have been questioning if I am afterall. So on tuesday night I went to the supermarket and along with my other shopping bought a miniture bottle of wine, which I had when I got home. So ive had 1 glas of wine this week and hav had no compulsion, obsession for another. I was never addicted to it.
So surely you have to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic right? I'm sorry I dont want to offend anyone im just trying to find answers, because I know my friends in recovery are biased aswell as my family and friends who think im not so I cant really get any help from either sides.
So surely you have to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic right? I'm sorry I dont want to offend anyone im just trying to find answers, because I know my friends in recovery are biased as well as my family and friends who think im not so I cant really get any help from either sides.
No, you don't have to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic, the physical addiction comes during the later stages of the disease, and trust me, it ain't pretty.
Are you an alcoholic? Not something I can answer for you, and in any event, self-diagnosis is the only useful tool. I can't answer for 'program' people, but I do recall telling a girlfriend at least several decades back that I was an alcoholic after a 2nd dui, and her responding that I couldn't be or wasn't, can't remember the exact language.
Imo, if you are like a lot of alcoholics, you tend to surround yourself with other alcoholics, these people aren't going to be real thrilled to hear you say those words, "I'm an alcoholic", if they believe you're an alcoholic it forces them to look at their own drinking, which a typical practicing alcoholic isn't willing to do. Along with the social stigma that accompanies alcoholism and other mental illnesses. Best idea I can think of, do one of the online self diagnostic tests, answer the questions honestly, and come to your own conclusions.
No offense take, btw.
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmm....
Bottom line....is your drinking causeing you any problems
or distress? Why is drinking important to you?
Many people...not only alcoholics choose to not drink. Why?
It's a toxic substance and does damage minds and bodies.
Wishing you all the best life has to offer...
Welcome back to SR
Bottom line....is your drinking causeing you any problems
or distress? Why is drinking important to you?
Many people...not only alcoholics choose to not drink. Why?
It's a toxic substance and does damage minds and bodies.
Wishing you all the best life has to offer...
Welcome back to SR
Only you can answer if you are an alcoholic or not. Not your family, not your friends, not even us here on SR (thought we might make a guess ). It's not about how much you drink but what happens when you drink.
Not everyone who goes to AA turns out to be an alcoholic. But, if you want to work on other issues, it couldn't hurt to keep a clear head while you do so. If doing this is a problem, then maybe you have your answer.
Not everyone who goes to AA turns out to be an alcoholic. But, if you want to work on other issues, it couldn't hurt to keep a clear head while you do so. If doing this is a problem, then maybe you have your answer.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
good question, it seems you feel you already have the answer but are prudently checking
here are some things I have found to be helpful
AA Big Book - Chapter 3
AA Alcoholics Anonymous 20 Questions AA Twenty Questions of A.A. Rehab, AA, addiction treatment, addiction recovery
You may not be an alcoholic
Another method is try to drink 2 drinks a day for ten days, if you have a propensity for alcoholism at least one of those nights you will get drunk, this is VERY helpful information to have
Alcoholics can quit for long durations on occasion but it's what happened after we put alcohol in our system that differentiates us from "non-alcoholics" or "heavy drinkers", so try the 2 drink a day test maybe, it will be worth a good case of the jitters to get the answer you seek.
I was dating a woman some years ago, she drank occasionally, not very often, but when she drank she never knew how it would end, most of the time she could have just two, but she would occasionally "lose control" and drink and drive and put herself and her child in harms way.
She is now and has been sober for quite awhile since she decided that made her an alcoholic, because she couldn't always "control" her drinking, or more precisely, would lose control, you don't need to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic, a heavy drinker can be addicted and not be an alcoholic, and an alcoholic can only drink on occasion.
it's what happens when we drink that differentiates the alcoholic from a heavy drinker not how often we drink.
BB 1st ed
here are some things I have found to be helpful
AA Big Book - Chapter 3
AA Alcoholics Anonymous 20 Questions AA Twenty Questions of A.A. Rehab, AA, addiction treatment, addiction recovery
I went to the supermarket and along with my other shopping bought a miniture bottle of wine, which I had when I got home. So ive had 1 glas of wine this week and hav had no compulsion, obsession for another. I was never addicted to it.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women.
Alcoholics can quit for long durations on occasion but it's what happened after we put alcohol in our system that differentiates us from "non-alcoholics" or "heavy drinkers", so try the 2 drink a day test maybe, it will be worth a good case of the jitters to get the answer you seek.
I was dating a woman some years ago, she drank occasionally, not very often, but when she drank she never knew how it would end, most of the time she could have just two, but she would occasionally "lose control" and drink and drive and put herself and her child in harms way.
She is now and has been sober for quite awhile since she decided that made her an alcoholic, because she couldn't always "control" her drinking, or more precisely, would lose control, you don't need to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic, a heavy drinker can be addicted and not be an alcoholic, and an alcoholic can only drink on occasion.
it's what happens when we drink that differentiates the alcoholic from a heavy drinker not how often we drink.
BB 1st ed
So surely you have to be addicted to alcohol to be an alcoholic right? I'm sorry I dont want to offend anyone im just trying to find answers, because I know my friends in recovery are biased aswell as my family and friends who think im not so I cant really get any help from either sides.
Is he addicted? Probably not.
Does he drink alcoholically? Yes, he always ends up in a police-car or ambulance.
Alcoholism is the loss of choice and control in respect to alcohol. One may be more evident than the other, but they will both be there.
As for choice, think about the disasters that have come about from drinking. It doesn't have to be a major disaster, maybe just some humiliating experience. Ask yourself what you were doing a day or so after the dust cleared. If a person has a choice they will stop. That would be the logical thing to do. We alcoholics march on with our drinking as if it had nothing to do with our troubles.
As for control, have you ever drank more than you intended? Now every young person will have an episode or two where they got a little out of bounds and puked til they saw god, but after a time or two they figure it out and maintain themselves. The alcoholic will have these "off the page" episodes far beyond any rational explination. Not every time (until end stage alcoholism), but often enough to create more drama.
As for choice, think about the disasters that have come about from drinking. It doesn't have to be a major disaster, maybe just some humiliating experience. Ask yourself what you were doing a day or so after the dust cleared. If a person has a choice they will stop. That would be the logical thing to do. We alcoholics march on with our drinking as if it had nothing to do with our troubles.
As for control, have you ever drank more than you intended? Now every young person will have an episode or two where they got a little out of bounds and puked til they saw god, but after a time or two they figure it out and maintain themselves. The alcoholic will have these "off the page" episodes far beyond any rational explination. Not every time (until end stage alcoholism), but often enough to create more drama.
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